Why should I be the ONE worrying about .....

why should I always be the one worrying about everything that happens around me?
Why should I always be the one taking the blame for everything that goes wrong around me ?

Why should I be the one trying to make everything happen the way it's supposed to?
Why should I be the one making good things happen?

I know that there's always a giver and a reciever........

But why should I always be the one giving and not the one recieving?

and why should I always be the one wondering if I didn't give enough to recieve what I wanted?

should it REALLY be this hard???????

is what I want in the end worth all this trouble?

and will what I get in the end be what I wanted to get??????

whyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy can't I for once in my life be a baby and have someone just take care of me and not blame me for anything AT ALL!

seriously.......as I look at the past......ever since I was borne ... I was the one taking care of me in so many ways...... and if I ever made a mistake I would pay for it in so many ways that I eventually learned to do everything right ...... I think it was always my dream to be a baby ....


grrrrr

Hameyeh oon chizayi ke zir neveshtam + yek nokteyeh mohemtar which is >>>>

ESHGH YANI ZENDEGI RAA BAAKHTAN
CHAND SAALI BI DALIL BAA HAR OLAAGHI SAAKHTAN

NOKTEH! ( good / bad? )

>

Vaghti eshgh kamrang mishavad "chiz ha" jaayeh aan raa migirand. Masalan sad "chiz" ya sad "eshgh" e koochak jaayeh yek eshghe bozorg raa migirad. Eshgh be aakvariom, kaktoos, faale varagh, shabaayeh ghomar baazi, tamr jam kardan, ketaab khoonda, omoore kheyrie etc. aan eshghe bozorg kamrang mishavad va energyash dar sad jaayeh koochak tazrigh mishavad va ba'd aan chiz haayeh koochak maane e didaneh aan eshghe bozorg mishavand.........

aanche be dast aavardam be andaazeh aanche ke az dast daadam bozorg nabood

Faaje'e hamin ast!
<

By Seyed Ebraahimeh Nabavi

Majnooneh Leily

Haaleh maneh bi to.........

گر بر فلکم دست بدی چون یزدان
برداشتمی من این فلک را ز میان
از نو فلک دگر چنان ساختمی
کازاده به کام دل رسیدی آسان

گر به تو افتدم نظر چهره به چهره رو به رو
شرح دهم غم دلم نکته به نکته مو به مو
میرود از فراق تو خون دل از دو دیده ام
دجله به دجله یم به یم چشمه به چشمه جو به جو
از پی دیدن رخت همچون صبا فتاده ام
خانه به خانه در به در کوچه به کوچه کو به کو
دور دهان تنگ تو عارض عنبرین خطت
غنچه به غنچه گل به گل لاله به لاله جو به جو
مهر تو را دل حزین بافته بر قماش جان
پرده به پرده نخ به نخ تار به تار پود به پود
در دل خویش طاهره گشت و نیافت جز تو را
صفحه به صفحه لا به لا پرده به پرده تو به تو

بیدارم و می بینمت رویا به رویا

از پیش چشمم میروی د نیا به د نیا

با تو میان آب و آ تش آشتی بود

در آ تش است از رفتنت دریا به دریا

یکبار د یگر عشق را با خون نوشتند

تعبیر لبخند تو را گلگون نوشتند

تا د ست عشق از پیکر عاشق جدا شد

با د ست لیلا قصه مجنون نوشتند

این کوچه ها بی تو همیشه بیقرارن

حس غریبی بین پا ییز و بهارن

رفتی ولی فکری به حال کوچه ها کن

بوی تو دارند و تو را اما ندارن

Deleh man havaato kardeh

FAGHATAM TORO MIKHAAD

Khasteh az in faaseleh haa baa deleh divooneh bemoon

Mesleh khodet dar be daram baa maneh divooneh bemoon

Emptiness.......

How do u spell this word?

hmmm I donnow..........

I would like to wish u a happy birthday but I don't think I should......

First of all, I would like to thank you for whatever it was that you did for me...... yes I do appreciate it............

but if I were to thank u for that......... it just wouldn't work because at the same time I should be angry at you for leaving me.........

it's not fair to say that because .......as they say, "how can I say that I've lost something...when it was never mine?"..........

I'm not in a good stage...........

lost and empty......

that's how I feel.........

should I say happy birthday to you?

why? for making me feel something that was not there........LOVE......... define it......

was he just making a fool out of me? to be honest with u I don't know...... maybe I'm blind and can't see it ........ my friend thinks he did......... and that hurts!

thanks for telling me you like me.....out of ......... desperation? .....or .........for the fun of it?

I'm sorry...........I know that u had a bad break up........and I'm sorry that I don't remember when it was.... I think it was less than a year ago....... but whatever...........

you are still not over that........ no .......... I'm not complaining!

does it sound like I'm complaining?

well I'm sorry but I'm angry... for having experienced how great it feels to "feel like" someone cares about u... and u have no idea how bad it feels when that someone leaves u...........and u have no idea how scary it is to know that u will not find anyone like that anytime soon... and u have no idea how hard it is to know that and not be able to do anything about it..........and u have no idea how frustrating it is to know that ur not going to be happy for a while......and u have no idea how sad it feels to try to lie to yourself and move on.... like nothing ever happened..........

but the thing is........... something DID happen..........

pajmordeh........ that's how I feel.......... my heart.............empty again.......... DEFINE emptiness...........

I don't want anyone to play with my heart again......... I may think that I'm a tough person ........ but in reality..............experience has proved something else......

it's dangerous to even think about having a friendship with someone like me...... not because I'm a bad person......... just because u should never try to fool around with someone who's lonely....... u will be trying to just have a good time........while she becomes a small part of her life.. u become her EVERYTHING.......and once u leave........... u'll be losing something......or it may even not feel that way because u've done it so many times that u don't even care........ but ....... she would lose............

so no......... I will not say happy birthday .........

"I should know that u're worth it before I make a decision of coming there or not......"
he didn't come......that means................. I wasn't.... worth.. his .......... time?

I don't want u to think that I care.. why should u think that I do .......... when u don't..........even a lil bit..........

thanks for listening to her song.........while talking to me.......

look at me....... I sound pathetic!

don't have anything else to say...............

BYE

Trying to forget.....

there's only one problem........

how can you forget the best thing that happened to you in ur lifetime?

I'm just wondering....HOW?

How can you expect someone who's lived in darkness for so long to forget the day that the light finally came through and was no more blind?

Logic, rationality, nothing helps....BELIEVE ME!

I think you should just appreciate the fact that god gave you the chance to see it and believe in the fact that it EXISTS.......

u just can't have it!

BUT wait a minute......when you think about it again........ not having experienced it at all would have been better!

aan kas ke toraa shenaakht jaan raa che konad?

divaaneyeh to har do jahaan raa che konad?

My advice to me:

:GET A LIFE and MOVE ON!

but.....

:no buts...... bebin.....ur wasting too much of my time! u know that you have a midterm on tuesday right?

yes.. but...

:no buts! plz study :(

I can't light no more of your darkness

All my pictures seem to fade to black and white

I'm growing tired and time stands still before me

Frozen here on the ladder of my life

Too late to save myself from falling

I took a chance and changed the way of life

But you misread my meaning when I met you

Closed the door and left me blinded by the light

Don't let the sun go down on me

Although I search myself, it's always someone else I see

I'd just allow a fragment of your life to wander free

But losing everything is like the sun going down on me

I can't find, oh the right romantic line

But see me once and see the way I feel

Don't discard me just because you think I mean you harm

But these cuts I have they need love to help them heal

تو این بیداد پهناور

تو این شبراهه سرتاسر

نه یک دست ونه یک آغوش

نه یک سنگ ونه یک سنگر

پناهی نیست جز آواز

رفیقی نیست جز دیوار

نمیدانی؟ چه میدانی؟
که انسان بودن و ماندن چه دشوار است
چه زجری میکشد ان کس که انسان است
و از احساس سرشار است

How sad!

Well...I kind of feel like I am at the stage where I was near January......but I am trying SO HARD not to be d*p**s**d......... yes.... and I'm realizing that it's so hard to trick yourself.. (almost impossible) but doable!

I can totally see improvements.....I don't think I'll ever be as sad as I was back then! ........but I just realized something today......as I was thinking of how I spent my lonely days back then ....... I remembered that I shoped A LOT.......and now... since I have A LOT of new clothes and as they say "esraaf haraam ast" I can't buy anything else......so I go into malls ....looking around..........desperately wanting to buy something nice for me.....then I realize that I can't force myself to do it.......I don wanna be wasting my money no more......the most that I've spent on me over the last month = $100 on clothes......... I'm spending more money on food these days.....because I get hungry a lot......and I'm getting FAT :D...... but whatever....

I have a psych test that I NEED TO study for ......I really wanna do good on this test.....and eventhough I've studied for it so much in the last few days........the most that I actually understood from the many hours that I put into reading it is max 6 hours..... so .........yea......
I'm working 9 hours tomorrow......I'll have sunday + monday......I'm so energetic right now.......:).......something nice happened....... well this guy from work (by the way he is persian ehem ehem) walked me to the sky train station after work (it was 11!!!) .........and he actually asked me to go to this persian tea house with him if I want..........he's cute but totally not my type ... but the fact that people actually do nice things for me and "see me" is very encouraging..... I donnow... I have always thought that people are scared of me or something.... they want to avoid talking to me.... but everytime I start a conversation with someone they continue talking to me! and I get surprised every time! it's so cool to be VISIBLE once in a while...........

kholaase that totally made my night.......I'm going to sleep with a :) on my face........

khodaayaa...SHOKRET

ای عاشقان بر حال زار شقايق نظر کنيد
دل را لگام عقل زنيد و از عشق حذر کنيد
گر ديده تان به نرگس مستانه ای فتاد
چـشـمان بـه زير کـرده و از آن گـذر کـنـيـد

روز اول پيش خود گفتم
ديگرش هرگز نخواهم ديد
rروز دوم باز ميگفتم، ليک با اندوه و با ترديد
روز سوم هم گذشت اما، بر سر پيمان خود بودم
ظلمت زندان مرا ميکشت، باز زندان بان خود بودم
آن من ديوانه عاصی، در درونم هايهو ميکرد
مشت بر ديوارها می کوفت، روزنی را جستجو می کرد
در درونم راه می پيمود، همچو روحی در شبستانی
بر درونم سايه می افکند، همچو ابری بر بيابانی
می شنيدم نيمه شب در خواب، های های گريه هايش را
در صدايم گوش می کردم، درد سيال صدايش را
شرمگين ميخواندمش بر خويش، از چه رو بيهوده گريانی
در ميان گريه می ناليد، دوستش دارم، نميدانی
بانگ او آن بانگ لرزان بود، کز جهانی دور بر می خواست
ليک در من تا که می پيچيد، مرده ای از گور بر می خاست
.......
می نشستم خسته در بستر، خيره در چشمان رويا ها
زورق انديشه ام آرام، می گذشت از مرز دنياها
روزها رفتند و من ديگر، خود نمی دانم کدامينم
آن من سر سخت مغرورم، يا من مغلوب ديرينم؟
بگذرم گر از سر پيمان، ميکشد اين غم دگر بارم
مينشينم شايد او آيد، عاقبت روزی به ديدارم!

:( why is it still raininggggggg? ah!

me is so excited about coming back home at 11 today!

I'm planing to go to the 9:00 class instead of my 12:00 ... the only thing is that I haven't done my french homework! I'll do it on the bus........ hmmmmm ... well I'll try to do it on the bus.......

I have to get out of the house at 7:30......... it's 7:16 and I my hair is still wet....... aaaaaaaa ok me have going...... BYE

Arezou......

وقتی چيزی رو آرزو ميکنی ثابت ميکنی که ارزش اون چيز رو ميدونی و فقط وقتی ميتونی ارزش واقعی هر چيزی رو بدونی که ظرفيت شناختنش رو داشته باشی

hamisheh moondeh boodam ke cheraa man mesleh baghieh aadamaa hich aarezouyi nadaaram......haalaa mifahmam cheraa beh khodam ejaazeh nadaadam ke arezoyi dashte baasham......

Here we go again!

ah...... see .......I'm doing it again! It's Sunday ......and if I let myself I will continue thinking and writing things here for the rest of the day...... but I really don't wanna do that........

so.........shall we go on a "diet" again?

yes we should!

Ok.....

Goal:

To not write anything here for 4 days! (last time it was 3....so let's add one more day and see what happens)

ok Ciao :D

Sad ammaa true!

The only way to forget about a loss / something tragic that happened in the past is to face a bigger tragedy........ OR ... hmmm... I was gonna say something about love but n/m.......

You can not tell how you feel about something unless u experience it!

what's my point? To be honest with u I donnow....... I was just thinking about a whole bunch of things and tried to make sense out of them.. but then I realized that I can't!

The only conclusion is that you can not make a conclusion out of an assumption!

Impressive!

There's a guy at work who recently moved from Australia to Vancouver after getting his Bachelors in Commerce and was lucky enough to get a job at an investing company right away. He's working there 40 hours a week and at our store 20-30 hours a week!

So one might wonder why? How does this person do it?

Well, there's something that I haven't told u yet. He's here with his girlfriend. I'm sure they have a lot of plans, like buying a house, car and....their LOVE keeps them wanna work harder and harder everyday.

Don't ever underestimate the power of love. The energy that it gives you helps you work harder, think harder, sleep less if needed and not be tired + learn things faster......

تا ندای عشق رسید بر من

شوق زندگی دمید بر من

That's how a person that's in love would feel.....

p.s. if I were to die tomorrow there'd be a few things that I would wanna do (no I'm not implying that I would die tomorrow........ didn't u see the if at the beginning of the sentence?) .....and no not all of them are impossible or need money .... so should I do them anyways?

: no of course not!

eeeeeeeee...why?

:because I know what they are and if you do them today you'd better make tomorrow your last day here on their lovely planet... or else............

hmmm FINE!

My goal........

To NOT write anything here for a few days.......

Rule #1: You can't expect someone who loves someone else to love you!

خشم این پنچره خسته همیشه غایبه
کلید صندوق در بسته همیشه غایبه
نعره اسب سفید قصه مادر بزرگ
بهترین شعرای سر بسته همیشه غایبه

همیشه غایب من زخمامو مرحم میذاره
همیشه غایب من گریه هامو دوست نداره
نکنه یه وقت نیاد صداش به دادم نرسه
ایینه ها سیا بشه کور بشه چشم ستاره

I refuse to believe that..........

Ok.....I'm really confused.....am I really living in this world or am I just from another planet?

N tells me that I live in a dream world..... D tells me that I'm probably from the 18th century......

Is it really that "UNNORMAL" to think that one can have a relationship with someone without "doing anything"( if u know what I mean)...........

They say, "oh no honey, it's impossible..........."

Why?

: Because of peer pressure! Guys can't be just with a girl and not want to do anything else! BECAUSE of their friends! They have to have something "COOL" to tell their friends.........

so I'm like ...well they can tell them that they're romantically in love etc.

: hahahaha........then they will just laugh at the poor guy !

!!!!!!

hmmmm....... me is not feeling well.......

it's my own fault...... I came home early...... I got home at 4..... was doing dont remember what until 5;30 .....slept until 6:30 ..... and ever since I've been in my bed....except for the one time that I went to the kitchen to eat aash and right after drank a cup of coffee ... (how disgusting!) ..i donnow why i did that..... I couldn't choose which one to have :D .. so I ended up eating/drinking both.......

anywayz..... the time is passing by really fast..... I'm just listening to music and .... finding nice pictures on the internet.........

but I honestly donnow how the time passed by so quickly? it's 11!!! hmmmmmmm... I realllllly wanna do something useful before I go to sleep..... I just need some energy..... where/ whom am I gonna get it from? DONNOW!

Another day........just BREATHE

There are voices
that want to be heard.
So much to mention
but you can't find the words.
The scent of magic,
the beauty that's been
when love was wilder than the wind

Dilemma!

Ok........ I honestly can not decide on what should be done?!!

"someone" has been friends with a guy for about 4 monthes........
at first they were always fighting ......but now they've been nice to eachother for about a month.....
they're taking care of eachother and making eachother happy everyday...... (i'm sorry that i can't tell u the story in a more exciting way?!)
so.......now that they've realized that they really like eachother and can get along with one another (maybe forever??) they've started to think about marriage......
the guy is not educated.......has 2 jobs....... can live with 1 but is doing the other just so he can make enough money to buy a small apartment for the two of them ( because he loves her so much)
the jobs pay well ... but they're what u might call a "low job" .........construction / driving ...... (not that I care........ )
anywayz........
the girl is too young! (around 20) / guy (28)
the guy really wants to get married ASAP.....
the girl doesn't want to...after all , they've been only together for 4 months.........
she decided to break up with him because she thinks that it's crazy to even think about marriage when the guy has nothing to offer her (but his love.... and it's hard because she really loves him too)
after they break up .......he calls her and tells her the reason why he wants to get married ASAP is because his parents are sick! .. one of them might die soon :( .........and the other one..... who knows?
she can't leave him now because he's really upset about what's happening to his parents
she shouldn't stay with him either..... because if anything ever happens to the guy's parents.. he's going to be sad for a long time......and ... is it fair to get such a young girl involved in so much grief and sadness? (what a selfish question!)

: well that's what love is all about........to share ur happiness/sadness etc. with eachother!

me: OK ........ whatever....... I still can't decide!

How was my day?

Well, compared to last week (when I spent my whole day doing nothing) it was definately better!

I managed to read about 20 pages of my psych book.

Go to my class, ONTIME! (thanks to my dear "Friend" for always givin me a ride on Tuesdays)

Spent 8$ on food.

Worked for 8 hours (7hours paid) $60

60 - 8 = $52 :D

I just got home, it's almost 12 and I think I should go to sleep.

I had kind of a productive day so I'm happy :)

We'll see what tomorrow has in store for me! ah... :( I realllllllly don't wanna see my exam mark for Spanish....... it's gonna ruin my whole day / week / month/ semester/ year and ......... i donnow.... i just wish that I'd studied more for it :( ...

whatever....w/e..... happy thoughts....... where r u goin? come back!

Think +ly ...and be HAPPY :D

Tomorrow is a new day.......

Valuable lessons.......

Study as if u have a test tomorrow.

Forget about people like they never existed.

Listen to your brain not your heart, because the first can think properly ( logically) where as the other one ( god knows how many times it's been broken = disable) can not!

عاشق و مستم و رسوایی خویشم هوس است.... هر چه خواهم که کنم هیچ مگویید مرا

گم شدم در سر آن کوی مجویید مرا

او مراکشت شدم زنده مپو یید مرا

خبرت هست ؟ که از خویش خبر نیست مرا

گذری کن که زغم راه گذر نیست مرا

گر سرم در سر سو دات رود نیست عجب

سرسودای تو دارم غم سرنیست مرا

بی‌رخت اشک همی بارم و گل می‌کارم

غیر ازین کار کنون کار دگر نیست مرا

Aakhe yeki nist begeh to ke balad nisti she'r begi baraa chi aslan TERY mikoni!!!

to oon hasti ke baa khodesh aarezou haamo bordeh bood
too aasemooneh deleh man shabeh siaah ovordeh bood

to ooni ke baa oomadanesh aasemoonam aabi mishod
shabeh siaaheh deleh man yek dafeh aaftaabi mishod

raftio jaayeh paat hanooz moondeh roo saaheleh delam
nemitoonam baavar konam gozashti rafti baa delam

az avvalesh hads mizadam yeh rooz bezaario beri
yaadam nabood gofteh boodi mesleh hameh mosaaferi

U have to read between the lines ... or else....

me: how much do I know u?
: hmmmmm..shayad 10 %!

CONCLUSION:

Likewise, the max that I know u = 10%

Therefore,

The max that I could like u = 10%
The max that I could care about u = 10%
The max that I could think about u = 10%

and guess what...... these don't add up to 30%

.1 X + .1 Y + .1 Z = 1

so next time someone tells u "boro beterek!" please do me and urself a favour and believe them!

AND if they tell u to stop bothering them don't think it's a joke!

Do I need to make another conclusion?

No.... I think u made ur point!

:(

DE PELAN!

wow...... I realllllllllly need to study.... wtf! I haven't studied this weekend AT ALL...not even 1 page.........

soooooooo.... in order to make me at least a lil bit satisfied I HAVE TO .,.. MUST ... do something........

here's THE PELAN.........

it's 1:11 right now..... me's gonna organize my binders..... + listen to some music untillll 2 ..........

then........from 2-3 study some PSYCH........

then from 3-4 eat ......

4-5 do nothing..........

5-6 study................

6-8 othing............

8-9 study.........

9-11 nothing.........

11-12 study..........

total = 4 hours of studying! WOW .... let's see if we can actually do dissss...

ok ..... me have going.........

BYE

Change!

hmm....

as I was lookin' at my pix tonight I noticed that "haalate" my eyes have changed since 3 yrz ago

at first it was normal......u can't really read my mind through my eyes......

second one is happy....... it's very "sheytoon" ..... doraaneh khoshi....... they show strength..... self confidence..........

and the third one..... they're a lot more mature.....they're the eyes of someone who's gone through a lot of ups and many downs in life and........ they're trying to say something....... but their voice is not loud enough.......or maybe they speak in a language that no one is capable of understanding.........

Is a smile just a smile?

:)

I donnow!

We all know that Canadians are just so used to smiling at one another that.... sometimes I feel like :) has lost its meaning .......

However, one question remains.........

if a man smiles at a girl.........not a " guy" but a man (30 + ) does that mean that he's just smiling or .......

I've always been confused about this...... sometimes I smile back and sometimes I don't ....... sometimes I smile at first and when they smile back I feel like I've done something wrong... maybe their smile is not just a smile!

But I have a back up plan....... u can use it too......whenever u feel like there's a chance of someone liking u just sniffle/sniff...... sniffling has a universal meaning = turn off! hopefully........

so whenever in doubt........sniffle* ........... lol

* another thing that might help = yawning........ that means u don't care ........

And the worst thing is........

Bayad harfeh delamo goosh konam

Hameh donyaaro faraamoosh konam

Dastamo boland konam be asemoon

Khodamo rahaa konam az ino oon

Delamo jodaa konam az aadamaa

Sinamo por konam az yaade khoda

Digeh baste digeh basteh entezaar

Abreh rahmat bar sareh donyaa bebaar

Shabeh taareh shabeh taareh SHABEH TAAR

Aasemoon khorshido bardaaro biaar

Well, it's ok to think that way, except for the fact that you can not! I'm constantly trying to make myself happy, trying to make my mind occupide with some happy thoughts so I won't have to spend the whole day worrying...... about god knows what?:D

It's ok to distract yourself and stuff, but at the end of the day there comes a moment when you try to think about what it was that you accomplished on that certain day...and when you realize that all you did was to cheat yourself .... that makes you..........angry.......sad........and.......DEPRESSED....... oh there is that word again! I can not believe that I am.......... ........ again.......... I just can't believe it!

I'm so scared of it.......I don't even wanna think that it's back........and even if it is ....... I will try to make it go away........... :(

Man teshneh mesleh KHORSHID

Bi sarzamin tar az Baad

Rangeh bi rangi........

Ghashangeh ...vali har kasi nemibineh...yani nemitooneh bebineh........

ajib... enghadr ajib ke mardom be khodeshoon ejaazeh midan ke divooneh sedaat konan..... faghat chon ba oonaa fargh daari...... faghat chon harf zadaneto tarzeh fekret baa oonaa fargh mikoneh...........

vali vaaghean divaanegi ham aalami daarad

if you want someone to forget about u just keep ignoring them .......don't pay attention to their needs......and they WILL eventually leave ........

داری از چشام میفتی

chi begam man tako tanhaa vaghti taariki miaad?

tooyeh taariki mitarsam ageh mahtaab bemireh.....

Why does it have to be so freakin' complicated?

ah!

I got home at around 9:00 pm last night! had planned to study at leasssssssst for an hour before I go to sleep!but that didn't happen... I was reading something online for 2-3 hours ...donnow when I went to sleep .....donnow how many times I woke up in the middle of the night worrying and thinking that I hadn't done what I was supposed to do yesterday .......

My class was over at 11:00 am! I have no idea what the ???? I was doing after that? well... I was hanging out with my "Friend" and she didn't let me studyyyy...as much as I enjoy hanging out with her I do need some time to just sit down ...be quiet ...and concentrate on other things than life = my school! (isn't that part of my life? hmmmmmm... i donnow)

anywayz...... she just could not stop talking for even 1 sec! so I ended up wasting 10 hours with her.... (managed to read 20 pgs of my psychology book instead of 30 pages of psych / 2 chapters of spanish / 1 chapter of French) andd I'm just in a very bad mood right now because I have a stupid vocab test in 2 hours (@ 10) ...... and nothing turned out the way I wanted to :( ... I usually love tuesdays but yesterday............

whatever.........I might stop talking to her for a while so I can catch up on my studies!

grrrrrrrrrr

aabaadamo kharaabam
daryaa amo saraabam
ham aatasho ham aabam
ham shab ham aaftaabam

sodaayi az mahaalam
royaayi az khiaalam
donyaayi az soaalam
daryaayi az javaabam

faaregh ze chando choonam
ham aghl ham jonoonam
ham sekteyeh sokoonam
ham nabzeh ezteraabam

baa saadegi noboogham
baa tiregi foroogham
ham raast ham doroogham
ham chehreh ham neghaabam

Me debating with me Again!

1: Hey li'l kid.........
2: ..........

1: balad nisti javaab salaam bedi?
2: Az key taa haalaa hey = salaam?

1: Che porroo! aslan hoseleyeh bahs kardan nadaaramaa.....
2: khob nadaashte baash... khosh oomadi....... raah baazo jaaddeh deraaz

1: ..............
2: :( ...... bebakhshid........vali kheyli asaabam khoordeh ...aslan hoseleh hich kaso nadaaram!

1: hatman baazam be khaatereh......
2: e........ to az kojaa midooni?

1: mesleh inkeh zendegieh to roo oon micharkheh! vaghtaayi ke khoshhali be khaatereh ooneh ...vaghtaayi ke naaraahatiam ...
2: :(

1: haalaa cheraa enghadr ghamginiiiiii?
2: chon chand roozeh baahaash harf nazadam!

1: khob baahaash harf bezan! to ke digeh vaaseh khodet khodsar shodi har kaar delet bekhaad mikoni
2: na aakhe be in natijeh residam ke to raas migi..... daaram sa'y mikonam beh harfeh to goosh bedam

1: aareh mibinam!!!!! baraa hamin dirooz taghriban 24 saat .. oh bebakhshid kamtar chon fekr konam 5-6 saati khaabidi... 18 saat daashti be oon fekr mikardio akharesham behesh msg ferestaadi!!!
2: eeeee... khob taghsireh man nabood ke ... khodeh oon avval msg daad...manam baayad javaabesho midadam nemitoonam ke hamintori alaki ignoresh konam?

1: cheraa nemitooni? kheyliam mitooni! aadami ke enghad khodesho migireh ke haazer nist hattaa vaghti azash mikhaayam behet msg bedeh az in bishtaram nabaayad entezaar daashte baasheh ......."I decided not to mesg you so to 'study' " .....
2: eeeeeee...haalaa toam hey gir bedeh be in yeh jomleh...khob bichaareh darso mashgh daashteh!

1: khob daashte ke daashte... yani enghad yeh msg zadan vaght migire??
2: khob nemikhaasteh havaasesh part sheh!

1: aarehh.... toam che khosh khiaali .......
2: nemidoonam.......

1: khob haalaa daari tasmim migiri ke digeh baahaash harf nazani?
2:

تحمل كن عزيز دل شكسته
تحمل كن به پاي شمع خاموش
تحمل كن كنار گريه من
به ياد دلخوشيهاي فراموش
جهان كوچك من از تو زيباست
هنوز از عطر لبخند تو سرمست
واسه تكرار اسم ساده تو ست
صدايي از منه عاشق اگر هست

1: !!! in yani aareh yaa na?
2:
نذار از رفتنت ويرون شه جانم
نذار از خود به خاكستر بريزم
كنار من كه وا ميپاشم از هم
تحمل كن، تحمل كن عزيزم
به من فرصت بده رنگين كمون شم
از آغوش تو تا معراج پرواز
حديث تازه عشق توام من
به پايانم نبر از نو بيآغاز

1: baabaa basteh! fahmidim toam shaaeri!! enghad baraa khodet in she'raaro mikhooni ke baavaret shodeh ke (L)!!!!!!!
2: nemidoonam........

1: baaz goft nemidoonam! khob ageh to nemidooni man midoonam!
2: aslan taghsireh toeh ke mano enghad confused kardi! ageh be khodam bood hichvaght hatta fekresham nemikardam ke bekhaam...

1: ee.... na baba?! to fekram mikoni? khoobeh!
2: khodeto maskhareh konaa...aslan hoseleh nadaaram

1: to hichvaght hoseleh nadaari........faghat too royaa o takhayyolaateh khodet seyr mikoni... beh gholeh bazia be khodet "tavahhom" midi!!!
2: vaaghean ke kheyli maskhareh hasti!

1: maskhareh nistam ........ haghighato migam.....
2: vaghti doori ...tanhaayi nazdikeh........ ghalbam bi to... mitarseh....taarikeh ... taarikeh..

1: ah ... bas kon digeh...bebin to vaaghean oono nemishnaasi.......ageh az nazdik dide boodio (L) enghad delam nemisookht........ to faghat (L) e yeh sedaa shodi..... na yek aadam.. na yek shakhsiat...... mitooni vaaseh khodet yeh imaginary friend doros koni!
2: vaaghean ke! in imaginary friendeh?

1: sad rahmat be imaginary friend........ hadde aghal harvaght ke mikhaaysh zaaher mishe :D
2: khodeto maskhareh kon!

1: man kesio maskhareh nemikonam..........vali jeddi yekam fekr kon......oh bebakhshid dobaareh yaadam raft........
2: ........

1: oh oh...oontori negaah nakon tarsidam!
2: w/e

1: nagofti mikhaay chi kaar koni
2: mesleh inke gharar bood shoma begid chi kaar konam....

1: yani man harchi begam u oon karo anjaaam midi?
2: shaayad..........

1: hmm... ok.........bebin .. in kaari ke to alaan daari mikoni kheyli eshtebaast........ too msn/yahoo/orkut! haalaa farz konim behet msg am bezaneh... ke akharesh chi beshe? bebin azizam...ghorbooneh shekleh maahet beram......... to bi kaar nisti...... midoonam fekr mikoni ke hasti chon aslan dars mars khoondano vaase khodet ta'til kardi! bezaar yekam be in donyaayi ke to VAAGHEAN daari toosh zendegi mikoni fekr konim......... midoonam ke oonyeki donyaai ke saakhti kheyli ghashangtareh.........vali vaagheyiat ineh ke to too in donyaayi o injaa mikhaay zendegi koni...na dar khaabo royaa o khiaal!!!! ok? az man mishnavi ...... yaa az yahoo o msn delete esh kon......... yaa yahoo o msn ro uninstall kon!!! too orkutam digeh log in nakon.......it's as easy as that!
2: .........

1: chi shod......
2: khob daaram fekr mikonam.........

1: enghadr alaki fekr kardi ke aakharesh be injaa residi digeh!
2: khob to kheyli khodkhaahi............ pas oon chi?

1: oon hichi........motmaen baash oon mesleh to nist...129384 taa doost daareh ke betooneh baahaashoon hang out koneh o do sooteh toro faraamoosh koneh.......
2: hmm...shaayad..

1: shaayad na... motmaennan! enghadram hey nashin fekr kon ke delete esh nakoni chon shayad offline message bede o inaa.......yaa baayad .........
2: :(

1: :( ......... midoonam sakhteh.........vali baavar kon intori baraat behtareh!
2: chetori mitoonam tanhaa chizi keh khoshhalam mikardo leave konam?

1: avvalan tanhaa chiz na o tanhaa kas! dovvoman ..beh raahati! to engaar faghat khoshiaasho yaadet mimooneh......... 60% mavaaghe naaraahati ......... stop right there! midoonam be chi daari fekr mikoni... daari migi ageh bishtar baahaash harf bezani hameh chi doros mishe...vali azizeh man .......vaagheyiat ine ke oon oon sare donyaasto to in sareh donyaa! haalaa man migam to beh khodet tavahhom midi baaz begoo na..
2: eeee ........... khob..........

1: bikhod dalil malil vaaseh man nayaar....... hamin ke goftam........zood tond sari.........
2:
aahaay khabar nadaari delam daareh mimireh...
hamdameh bi kasi haat...too bi kasi asireh...........

1: she'r nakhoon........ bodo Deletesh kon....... NOW
2:
delet chejoori oomad begzari kheyli saadeh?
tanhaash gozashti ammaa... del be kasi nadaadeh..

1: yeh kaari nakon ke hameh ahangaato delete konamaa? aslan vaase yeh moddat beh rap goosh mikoni taa haalet khoob she :D
2: maskhareh.........

1: ho...fosh nadeh haa..........
2: ...........

1: :( .... come on just do it....
2: I can't......

1: yes you cannnnnnnnn.... come on...plz ..........
2: .............

Cry me a river!

hmmm...

:(

bad luck?

I guess so!!!

scattered mind........that's what I have! I can't focus on anything..........

right now I have a big headache! seems like it doesn't wanna go away!

ok... u wanna know what happened?

last night......as I went to sleep I knew that I had 101101029343983675 things to do...... but I decided to go to sleep early (12:00 ish) and wake up early (5:00) .......

I woke up at around 6:30 .......started typing what I thought was my "homework" ...what I thought was worth 7% of my term mark......and as I was sitting on the bus...on my way to class... I look at the outline...and realize that it really is just homework! worth nothingggggggg....

so I'm like ....... hmmm...calm down... I know that u spent 4-5 hours on it ....but it's all good...... LIVE AND LEARN........

then since I had so much on my mind already ..... + this ........ made me feel like I wanna just ... u know...go somewhere and never come back :D ........ aaaaaaa.. khob asaabam khoord shodeh bood....

I donnow why I hadn't thought about anything on the weekend...but when I woke up in the morning I realized that I have 1) French homework due today 2) French test on wednesday 3) need to read 30 pgs of psychology 4) have spanish test on friday 5) my spanish homework is due tonight ... all these + the fact that I had to type my "homework" gave me a panic attack!!!

anywayz........when I got off class at 1 ... as I was reading my old text msgs ......I realized that one of them ......the most important one that I'd written .... had not been sent!!!!

so I was like :-/ ..... very sad and mad......... it was a very important thing that I wanted to tell **** 2 nights ago...after we'd talked on the phone...and there's no way that I can send it to him now because 1) the moment has passed 2) I've already spent two days wondering why he hasn't replied.. 3 ) I've decided not to care anymore... but the poor guy hasn't even seen what I had to tell him... well ...I did send another txt msg that was kind of (L) ..but this was the main one!!!

here's what I'd written:

hmmm... u know what... I'm sorry... but I just feel like I shouldn't write it here... I don't want to think about it anymore!!!

ghesmat naboodeh :)

anywayz...right now I'm sooooooooooooooooooo tired..it's not even funny... I feel like I haven't slept in two days , this is exactly how I felt everyday last year at this time ... the only thing that's changed is the fact that I have time to go to sleep...last year .... haha...... let's just say that I had a sad life!

ok ... i shall go to sleep before I pass out.........ciaooooo

Yak chizeh jaaleb.........

Your presence feeds the soul!

anywayz....... nemidoonam chi shod yeho vaaseh khodam emrooz in jomlaro saakhtam o be nazaram cool oomad.. so I thought maybe I should write it here!

vali I'm talking about something else when I say "yak chizeh jaaleb"

u wanna know what it is????

oh do u?

are u sure? 'cause u don't have to read the rest if u don't want to!

oh ok then ... just go ahead and read the following:


these people are very weird... like seriously... i've heard many many weird stories about people's "relationships" and how they've ended!

I went out with 2 people today... well two girls...... both married! one divorced........both younger than 23...one with 2 kids!!!!

it's so good to talk to people!

BUT it makes me realize how "different" i am......... I asked one of them about her husband...and why she got divorced...and how many bf's she's had etc. and the answers were quiet shocking......
then she asked about me.......and I was like...well I've gone out with 4 guys..... she's like so... have u ever *** ... I'm like ...ummmm... I just told u that I've only gone out with four guys! and the most time I've spent with them alone is 5 hours all together........ so she's like :o (shocked) ... and she's like ... let me give u some advice! don't ever let any guy no that!!!! I'm like okk...but why...she's like trust me...they'd either get scared away or think that ur lying etc. so i'm like ok! then she told me to come up with some story .... make a list of my "imaginary" bf's and tell a story for each........... and try not to forget the story otherwise i'd be screwd :D

so..... i'm looking really forward to doing that! it'd be so fun!!! haha........

"oh ...umm.. i've never had a bf and actually i've never had many friends....and I "Roozeh" etc."

how does that sound? pretty scary to someone who lives in this world!

"oh I just broke up with my bf a few monthes ago because of .... and right now i'm just dating a few guys ..... we'll see what happens..... + I go out with my friends on the weekend ...sometimes we go to clubs ...and just chill....:D "

sounds more interesting and human like? doesn't it ?

YES

ok then....... I'm gald we could all agree on that

now I just have to come up with my amazing story... don worry....I will write it here as soon as I come up with one!

hehe ..........

me is so excited :D


I really have to go now

byyyyyyyyyyyyyeeeeeeeee

Yek aahangeh baahaallllll....... vaayyyy kheyli ghashangeh

http://www.iransong.com/song/11902.htm