Aan nafasi keh baa khodi hamcho khazaan fesordeh e...

I think I have to fight it... no more day dreaming and trying to force my dreams into reality... it's quiet pathetic actually. I see a guy, assume he is sane, and force him into being the one. Well no more! I'm not gonna chase after him like a maniac... he has to show some interest... I admit I suck at it too. But that's just how I am and if he doesn't know how to chase me then it's really not my problem.

I was pleasantly surprised when I went out with him on Saturday and found myself enjoying my time with him. I want that to continue instead of getting physically close and losing that...

Shekasteh niaaz....

Maghroor

Agar khaastid mano dar yek kalameh kholaase konid mitoonid: maghroor!

Hameh hes haam az ghoroor miaad... ham raftaar ham axol amalaam...

Man chemeh? Man kistam?

Vaghean daram chi kar mikonam? Khodamam nemidoonam!

Dar kol mitoonam begam khoshhalam... vali vaghean bavaram nemiahe ke bavaram shodeh man digeh roo love give up kardam (ba inke secretly nakardam)... bavaram nemishe keh I have 0 tolerance for bs and disappointment... be akhareh khat engar residam... vali baa in vazam nemishe dastanio shoroo kard... hamash taghsireh n eh lanatieh... chetor toonestam khaameh harfesh besham? Albsteh midoonam yeh tajrobeh. Oodeh vali narahatam ke hanoozam ke hanooze roo ghalbam sangini mikoneh... N e lanatie bisharafeh bi marefat...

Inam az jariaaneh m...keh bahash ye hafte harf zadamo badesham didamesh ke adame ajib vali doos dashtani e az aab dar oomad... yani az attention e keh behem mideh fekr mikonam khosham miaad agarna oon mano dark nemikone o hamash harfe khodesho mizaneh... khodam midoonam ke alaki daram drama varede zendegim mikonam...

Khodaya khodet komakam kon keh tasmime dorosto begiram❤️

Reflect

so I finally cleared with my friend and the pain is off my chest... although she reacted badly and I felt like I went through an anxiety attack but I apologized and fixed it and I fbally feel so much better!!! Thank you god

These days I'm thinking about what else I need to do with my life... It's kinda sad that I can't even begin to think where I can find someone if not online... I still feel like I'll be fine alone but this is not really by choice... it's just how it is because of my age and my genration...

This time is different....

Not in the economic sense... a believer in love will always be a Believer?

So I know that not long ago I said that I will no longer be looking... I feel like rhat remains true but someone from another city has messaged me and we have started talking on the phone... although I wanted to ignore him, he is quiet charming and I can't help but like him! I will see him this weekend... I honestly feel like a new person with more clear boundaries that will help me

Current mood: very happy and excited ❤️