As I said, it’s been an interesting journey
Last month I went a little crazy with downloading an app and tracking my ovulation to make sure that things are in order and reduce the stress. I was obsessed with checking the app and reading the community page. This month? Not so much
I may even say that I have completely gone the opposite… avoiding “the days”…. You may think I am crazy but I have my reasons
The truth is that I am completely on the fence: on the one hand I am 100% sure that this is what I want and it pains me that I am not doing my best/our best to get there. After all, we have both agreed that this is our priority.
On the other hand, we are just going through a LOT of changes, we are moving to another city and have a lot do do on this side. More importantly, he will be unemployed when we move there. Even more importantly, he will be going back to school when we get there.
I’m 100% confident that I can support our family financially for a full year if I have to but he has also said that he will contribute but that we have to live “frugally” for a year or two. I really don’t know how I feel about that. I know that I am maybe being childish and selfish for wanting things a certain way but as they say: you can’t have the cake and eat it too (ham kharo khaastan ham khorma). The reason we are moving is because of me.
I feel a little numb at the moment. Don’t get me wrong: I am excited about our move and our new life but the uncertainty is bothering me.
Side note: I never thought that getting pregnant would be so hard! It takes two to tango… saying this makes me emotional but I know that I have to be patient and that everything happens for a reason.
Khodaayaa: sepordamesh dasteh khodet
I am just so extremely thankful that I found a community of moms to be who are going through the same thing.
Shab bekheyr
