We did it!

14 golds......... broke the world's record............ never been more proud to be a Canadian :)

I'm happy and at peace

I have a feeling I'm gonna be like this for a while.........

There are a few things that have the potential to make me upset........ but they're not that important to make it to the surface and ruin it for me

:)

Kinda sad that it's all over :(

32 days left.........

Woohoo

This is kinda exciting eh?

The funniest thing happened yesterday......... I went to meet up with my friends after work ( I had a late shift and got off work at 11:30 pm!)

Hung out with my friends until about 1 am and then as we were walking towards our car, I saw AC in the parking lot!!!! This is the guy that I had met 2 yrs ago and then stopped talking to him after he went to Iran ........ he called me a few times but I didn't really like him and still don't because of his weird behaviour!!! He is such a jigool bache tehrani who is really not my type at all............ he's constantly trying to be "close" and calls me 100 times a day ............ I don't get him.......... it seems like we are from 2 different planets.......... maybe we are............ he is soooooooooo verrrrrry different.......... he doesn't know how to play "hard to get"

On the other hand he is really handsome....... I mean he's beautiful........ he has the perfect face ........ he's tall...........and he's gained some weight since the last time I saw him......... but I'm not sure if I wanna talk to someone whom I have nothing in common with!!!!

Don't get me wrong ........ he's a really nice guy........he's just too new ....... too different

Anyways.......not that it's a big deal......... it was just a funny coincidence seeing him in the parking lot after 2 years ..... and he's called 3 times since last night...........and messaged me 4 times........ I haven't replied........... so ........ not sure if I will or not

Fe'lan BYE

Fresh out of the oven.......

I've been chatting with this guy for the past few weeks....... yes chatting...........

He's from where I live and he seemed really nice and everything at the beginning...... I can safely say that I liked him too until a few days ago when I started thinking that I do not want to even think about seeing someone who is
1) Uneducated
2) Bahaai

and has a German Shepard dog!!

NO WAY

#1 is the most important one......... being uneducated (not having a degree) makes someone very bi kelaas in my mind....... and I'm very strict about these things....... no matter how much he loves me I just can't respect him enough just because of that........ call me an old fashion thinker caz I truely am one!

On the other hand I chatted with a 37 yr old guy yesterday and started building a future together with him in my head........ even though I've always said I dont want any kids etc. I don't mind marrying a manly man who can take care of the expenses while I make/raise babies for him............

But is that really true? Is that really how I feel??? I think 37 is a bit too old........... I can't get myself to like someone 10+ yrs older than me can I? I really dont think so.........

Anyways.......... nothings gonna happen with this guy since he's not from here........... but it really got me thinking........

Are we safe to say that I want to be single and independent forever unless someone so great comes along that can really take care of me?

I have no answer to that question yet but I think we will find out some time in the future :)

p.s. I hate hurting other people's feelings....... he told me he liked me ......... I kinda made fun of him and called him stupid......... I hope he doesnt message me again............ I still feel bad.......... I'm so ahmagh for ever starting anything............. don't I know anything about me ?????? I think I am desperate for some attention but do not want anything serious!

GOOD NIGHT

KHODAA BAA MAAST :*

Nagoo khisieh cheeshaatoooooooooo
Beh Kasi Neshoon Nemidiiiiiiiiiii
Heyfeh omri ke talaf shod
Paayeh eshghi keh nadidiiiiiiiiii
= nice songn

Tomorrow......... bye until tuesday!

What I gotta do to make you love me? What I gotta do to make you care?

By you I don't mean you......... I mean me! What do I have to do to make me love me? I really don't know

I feel like I'm on the verge of crying every second of my waken moment.......... but I obviously don't cry caz there's no point of crying....... I'm just really sad that I'm so indifferent and not excited about anything anymore....... tears......... sigh......... chi begam........ just sad sad sad!

I feel like I'm changing in a way since my birthday....... I'm trying to explore myself........ I feel this emptiness inside...........since I'm not in love with anyone anymore........ I feel lost .......... none of the songs I listen to (that are about love) make any sense to me at all!! like 0............ I think I have completely given up on love........ and I'm perhaps trying to convince myself to get used to the idea........ that's why I feel lost..... I don't know what to think of "guys" anymore......... I truely don't

And sense I've turned 24 I think I'm old enough to talk about sex without puting in starts in the middle s*x or se* .. or using another word....... like intimacy........

anywyas......... let's talk about the 3 letter word! (I did it again ........... o well........ )

So I haven't experienced it of course........and I haven't even kissed anyone.......... or I haven't even really held anyone's hand or anything......... so that is kind of unusual.......... and I haven't really ever tried to explore myself in that way........ some say it's weird........... do I have to see a doctor? Maybe I should.........but I won't.............. as you know I do like being different........ maybe someday I will break the world's record ...... or maybe I already have.... who knows......... I have really truely never thought about relationships in that way........... yes I do like tall muscular guys........ but just because I feel more safe around them.......... and they do give me the fuzzy feeling of "Oh I'm so cute caz I'm shorter and smaller and he can love me because I'm such a doll" ........ lol.......... anyways........ I just really wanted to mention that here caz I have been thinking about it for the past couple of weeks and I guess the conclusion is to never ever go out with a guy caz they will never understand such uniqueness ...... lol..... or caz I do really know that it's not attractive at all to be this inexperienced......... so ...... yea ...........whatever..........

a few more things that I wanna say before going to bed

1) I'm going to LA ......... excited? no......... happy to be experiencing something new? hmm .........a little...........

2) I'm getting a nose job! woohoo........... I've booked my appointment and taken the days off from work for recovery.......... I will look a bit different 2 monthes from today........ kinda scared of how it's gonna turn out........ but excited? YES ............. and just to add ....... I am not self concious about my nose ......... it's not something that bothers me......... but since I've always had a sense of working on myself toward becoming perfect I felt like I had to take this step caz it's a big step toward reaching my goal.............. who knows........ maybe it will boost up my self confidence a bit....... and maybe just maybe it will make me like myself a little bit more!

There's a reason for everything.........

There is a reason why I am the way I am today ............. I used to love people........... I had the ability to fall in love with people.............. I had the ability to care for people ............

If you ask me if anyone's broken my heart I would probably say no.......... there's no specific person that I can say has come to my life and broken my heart........ no ..........that's not what happened............. but I used to have strong feelings for KR......... I used to have strong feelings for IT ............ strong feelings for VJ.............. strong feelings for ST ......... but they chose to ignore me .......... they chose to leave........... and I think that might be a small part of why I can't care for anyone..........

There's something in my subconcious that stops me from feeling for people........... I've learned to say "to h*** with this person" ....... it takes about a week to forget......... one week or two......... but I have the ability to forget people........ and kill the feelings that I've had for them.........

Right now there is not anyone in this world that I love.......... and to be honest with you as I have said before I don't think there will ever be a person that I will love...........

At this point in my life I don't think I'm good enough .........that's why I don't want anyone to come to my life caz I will constantly think that he will leave me for someone better

I'm not gonna go to the party tonight........... I have no interest in meeting new people

I'm going to LA next week............ just for the adventure............and P better stop forcing me to take pretty dresses to impress others...........I'm going there for the fun of seeing a new city not to meet anyone!! OK? aslan mikhaam baa chaador beram! I do not want to dress to impress ........ why doesnt she get it? I'm content with the way I live my life and I don't want anyone!!!!!!