khorshideh aalam taabeh, tanhaa beh man mitaabeh, baa rango booyi taazeh, rangin kamoon misaazeh... donyaa rafigheh maa shod, yaaareh shafigheh maa shod, az laabelaayeh abraa, khorshideh maa peida shod

jiiiiiiiigh

omg...... I can't wait for these 6 days to be over!!!!

So what if I lose $350 at the end? Sometimes we have no choice!

Still happy.....

Can't wait for Wednesday to be over and Saturday to be herE!!!!!!!

Just in case you are wondering..... yes, I AM still in shock!

Confused....... I dont know what makes me so sure that I'm going to get this job.... but if/when I do it may create some confusions...... but I will deal with it when I need to..... for now there's nothing I can do

noone khod raa dar roghan didan hesseh zibaa ammaa ajibist!

God willingly all will work out......

:)

Looking forward to the winter!

Yeap.

And not in a bad way...... just want that Christmas happy mode!

I think I'm still in shock...... need to sign something to make it more official!

can't believe it.......

won't believe it until it happens........

wow

all I can say is wow

and THANK GOD

speechless.......

I DONT know.....

I will know by early next week.......

no comments......

will stay neutral until I get an answer......

(secretly wishing that I did well)

anyways..... ciao for now


I have a "date" in 2 hours :P I'm hungry.....but he said drinks....... can I order food too?

ziaadi jeddi nagir.......

Va baa in jomle....

Ya me voy!

:)

There comes a time when you can't force yourself to be sure that you'll have it.....

Your mind has been fed up with disappointments.....

All you can do is be neutral.....

Anyways......

:)

Mano bebar az virooni......
Az abraayeh baarooni......
Faghat to raazeh delamo midooni.....

:) I'll talk to u tomorrow!

خوشتر آنک بخوانم و بخوانم 
سنگ بر شانه و دلرها 
واپس نمی نگرم 
که چه بوده است 
به پیش نمی نگرم که چه مانده ست
می روم و می خوانم
 و نومیدی خود را 
به دلشوره نیامده های دوردست غنا می بخشم

منوچهر آتشی 

It's 2 am. I'm craving for adas polo ba kishmish va goosht charkh kardeh....... hmm...... I shall make it happen soon! Perhaps next weekend......

KHODAYA SHOKRET

PS

I need to start giving....

No excuse!

No questions asked!

I can't wait forever to be in my "ideal life" before I start helping out others!

:-|

I hope I find an opportunity to do so...

ps

My previous roommate is not replying to my text after I told her I can't make it to the lunch get together! And it's getting on my nerves... well it's kinda my fault bcz I had made it sound like I will no matter what and all of a sudden I changed my mind!

NEED TO START MAKING IRREVERSABLE DECISIONS! I feel like the uncertainty I have is hurting those around me... and as a result making me confused..... maybe that's why I'm trying to stay away from people.....

I don't even know how to prepare for it!

I can breath in......
But finding it hard to breath out!

I'm happy and numb at the same time!

The only thing I can do is this:

^_^

Opposite of last month!

Unlike last month when my emotions were all over the place, this month I think I have no feelings!

I feel like my feelings are slowly evaporating! and it's scary.....

I just want to be alone.....

Don't feel like hanging out with anyone...

Butterflies already?

With a simple message on facebook.... well a "simple" message that contained some flirting! from a guy that I have just seen 2-3 times in my life... but I used to have a crush on him! but now, I donnow what to think of it?!!
The way I replied was too formal! I'll let you know if anything happens...
But today I'm happier..... not sure if it's because of him......I hope not LOL

ps no this is not the answer to my previous post on "what?!" ...... stay tuned :)

And yes, I do believe in love at first sight!

Khodaa koneh...... still waiting for that day ... :)

Don't rush things...
Anything worth having is worth waiting for!

You know that you won't be getting the job when the 6 ppl interviewing you are all white!

it's like there was a position made just for him!

it sometimes makes one wonder!

But am happy for him :)

what?

it's 4:30 in the morning and need to go to bed....

I will let you know in 6 days!

knowing that it's the government, it may take longer! :-| :)

what?
:)

September 2006

lol
"
I can not believe how much i've changed / grown since last year.
Just getting a job itself was a huge change.
Talking to other people, stepping out of the "Safe zone" ...... HUGE improvement.........
Trying to appreciate me and the things I do..........
Taking risks.......doing crazy things like staying home/ at the library for 4 monthes in a row...... getting depressed....... having recovered (almost) from that depression.........
Talking to guys and realizing that they're not as scary as I thought...... maybe not scary at all.........
Taking the bus to downtown.... not being scared of getting lost..... discovering places that I'd not been to......(last year the only places that I could go to was the malls.....but now I even know the name of the streets in downtown!!!)
Learning to love people for who they are, not judging them.....
Being brave.....
This past year has been a year full of experiences ......... maybe it was too much...... but I have learned a lot......... not a lot, A LOTTT ....and I have become a better person ....with a dif POV of the world......
I have allowed me to see the goods and the bads ... there are still some things that I don't/can't understand..... things that are very wrong with this world.... things that should change....... things that I will help to change.......
I will try to make a difference.........
......... the way that I think might seem childish..... but aren't children the most innocent of all? wouldn't world have been a better place if there were more people like me? hahaha.... well...ur probably thinking that I'm very selfish, self centered and........(khodamo ziad tahvil gereftam) .......
but that was the honest truth......
anywayz..... I sometimes think so much about my failures that I forget the accomplishments......... that's why I wrote this here ... to remind myself that it wasn't such a bad year after all..... in the end I did survive.....
and I just found out that tomorrow is the first day of classes!!! so I'd better go put my pencils, binders, calculator etc. in my bag and get ready to go back to school!
I was very scared of going back to school....... but right now I'm very excited! (I hope this mood doesn't change) .....
After having a short conversatin ( maybe 15 minutes in total if we add it up) with my family and co-workers... even strangers lol ..... I have decided to continue with my studies and get my bachelors in Commerce.....
God thank u for helping me make a decision... it was a LONGGG wait.....but I'm finally at peace with myself..... thanks to u and the ones u've sent down here to help me :) .........THANK YOU"

Good night! :)

Don't like shadowing!

That's what I'll be doing tomorrow!

almost 2 am and still awake...... need to go brush my teeth!!  grrrrrrr

Note to self: brush your teeth before coming to bed so that you don't have to stay awake for so long for no reason........duh!!!!!!

And all of a sudden, my only problem in the world seems to be not having enough money!

I realize this at the age of 27..... well almost 28!

Good.

How did I come to this conclusion?

Not having money to go see my family + my favorite concert....

Needless to say that not having found my ideal job is making me look older everyday....

And I miss my family!!!

For now I'm just trying to just be..... and not go insane

Good.

lol

Ok my post sounds a little creepy but .....

Let me not say more.....

Good night!

PS I have found my favorite apartment in the world! Just dont have the money to buy it... the funny thing is that it's pretty cheap compared to the prices in Van..... only $280 K..... but I can't even afford that!

Nist rangi ke begooyad baa man: andaki sabr...sahar nazdik ast!

Shabeh sardisto man afsordeh.....
Raaheh dooristo paayi khasteh......
Tiregi hasto cheraaghi mordeh....

Deep down that's how I feel.... but trying not to think about it.... went for a run which was great... saw a blind person that made me sad.... thank you god for everything!

Khat zadaneh neveshte haam... soozoondaneh taraaneh haam, shab geryeh haaye bi sedaa.... behem komak nemikoneh...

"Adamist digar...... yek rooz hoseleyeh hich chizi raa nadaarad....doost darad bardaarad khodash raa berizad door!"

Making up for lost times.....

Trying to do everything possible to make "great memories"

The problem is that the things that I think will create them always fall short of my expectations...

Everything turns out to be good, but not good enough!

Specially when there is $ involved! Spent more than $500 for a 3 day trip.....

I'm planning to spend the same amount to go see my family and friends..... I can't decide if it's a good idea

I will call my parents tonight to ask what they think......

The only problem is money......need to make more!

I'm afraid to pray.... I'm afraid to think...... I can sometimes be hopeful.... but don't even want to think about hope.... I'm afraid of disappointment....

Just know that I'm thankful for everything so far!

<3 p="">

Lost

is how I feel these days....

Don't remember the last time that I was actually happy....
Not that I'm sad....... I just feel lost....
I want this month to be over.....
I can only hope for good news...
Miracles are possible...
I hope I make the right decisions and do the right things
Elaahi Aamin...

Eyyaakanabodo va eyyaakanastayin

G ngt :)

ps. I moved yet again to a new place.... it's ok so far....