And ALL SHE NEEDED WAS A SHOULDER TO CRY ON.........

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT NO ONE CARES

for the first time I was angry......not just at myself .....but at god......for taking away my future.........the more I think about it ....... the more I realize that it's true......my career was the only thing that I wanted and was focused on..... the only thing that gave me hope to live each day...... but it was taken away from me.......MY PRESENT AND MY FUTRURE AND MY EVERYTHING was taken away from me two years ago..........

I TRIED SO HARD AND GOT SO FAR BUT IN THE END IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER.......

and i'm crying now.......because i know that it's not going to be ok.....not this time.........

i feel like i've been cheated on.....

and this time.......

honestly.......all i need is someone to hold my hands.........and tell me EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK

Deadilne!

As it might be clear to many of us......deadline means two things:

1) It's the end of the line!

2) Get there before you die!

................


well.......that doesn't sound as cool as i wanted it to but whatever! but i was just thinking of that.........

I'm running out of time!

I have less than 4 monthes to become a well rounded person..........

right now I'm at level 1 .. (kind of proud because I'm not at ground level like i was last year)

so what shall one do to become a well rounded person?

I have lost so much self confidence that it i's not even funny.......if you want others to believe in you you have to believe in yourself....... but in my case....

I HAVE 4 MONTHES....THE CLOCK IS TICKING .......

I was lost and I'm still lost But I feel so much better You could travel a world But you can't runaway From the person You are in your heart You could be Who you want to be Make us believe in you Keep all your light in the dark If you're searching for the truth You must look in the mirror And make sense Of what you can see Just be Just be They say learning To love yourself Is the first step that you take When you want to be real Flying on planes To exotic locations Won't teach you How beauty feels Face up to the fact That you are Who you are And nothing can change that belief Just be Just be Cause now I know It's not so far To where I go That I respond It's inside me I need to just be Just be Just be Just be Just be I was lost and I'm still lost But I feel so much better Cause now I know It's not so far To where I go That I respond It's inside me I need to just be Just be


----------------------------------------------------

I'm a unique individual, like everyone else!--------------------------------------كنار دريا، با آب همزبان بودم ز اشتياق تماشا چو كودكان بودم به ماهيان و به مرغابيان، چنان مجذوبكه راست گفتي، بيرون ازين جهان بودم نهيب زد دريا،كه اين همه در پيچ تاب آب مگرد > : چنين درين خس و خاشاك هرزه پوي، مپوي مرا در آينه آسمان تماشا كن دري به روي خود از سوي آسمان واكن دهان باز زمين در پي تو مي گردد از آنچه بر تو نوشته ست، ديده دريا كن زمين به خون تو تشنه ست ، آسماني باش <بگرد و خود را در آن كرانه پيدا كن--------------------------------------به چشم نهان بین نهان جهان را که چشم عیان بین نبیند نهان را نهان در جهان چیست؟ آزاده مردم ببینی نهان را، نبینی عیان را به سان گمان بود روز جوانی قراری نبوده است هرگز گمان را چگونه کند با قرار آسمانت چو خود نیست از بن قرار آسمان را چه گوئی که فرساید این چرخ گردان چو بی حد و مر بشمرد سالیان را؟نه فرسودنی ساخته است این فلک را نه آب روان و نه باد بزان را

I CALLED HIM

vaaaaaay...cheghad sedaash ghashango arameshbakhshe.....

man nesbat be oon HICHI nistam........hichi........ and he knows it ......and I know it....... and that's why I don't want to be with him........ I HAVE NOTHING TO OFFER him........ absolutely nothing.........If I ever change I will put a step forward..... otherwise I will stay back........and let him live his life.......let him ive his almost so wonderful life..........

GOD YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I WANT THIS!!!!

HI GOD

you are the only one who knows how much I want to have this......or it's not even a matter of wanting it anymore.....you know how much i need it.....you know how much my life depends on it......you know how much my future my being my everything depends on it........ I fell once......no I fell twice........maybe many times....... don't let this be another fall ........... I WANT THIS

yes I am telling you with 100% assurance that I WANT TO HAVE THIS..... even if you think there's something better for me out there........ I know that there are probably many things out there that I CAN do ........but I need another start.....a restart........ if I don't get this I will be LOST....... I will be INFINITELY LOST.......And i'm not so sure if I can be found after this...... please please help me...... I will try my best.......

You know how hard it was for me to get out of the darkness before.....I have healed a little bit.........I appreciate your help along the darkness ....... I appreciate your guidance......... YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE..... THE ONE AND ONLY.........

I have failed in every single other way in life.........I have nothing else to live for......

I made a mistake......... I invested all my life in one thing..... and after losing that ONE THING........ I LOST ......... I LOST MY LIFE......and I WANT IT BACK......... PLEASE GIVE IT BACK

I WILL WORK HARD FOR IT..........HELP ME WORK HARD FOR IT........ HELP ME GET IT.......... FOR I HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO LIVE FOR BUT THIS

UPDATE!

I'm planning to call him.

He'll either be nice and help me with my application or be a total *ss and say something mean to piece me off! Oh and I won't be surprised if he does! He's done it before. He's a scorpio and it's in his nature to attack!

I had a dream about him last night. It was kind of weird.....

From the emotional POV i can't deny the fact that I like him. I mean, I don't think I've ever said this before, and it will sound really really stupid if I tell you. Well don't laugh, it was just because I was so excited........

Are you ready?




ok here it goes.......

I was even considering marrying him! hahahahaha

like seriously........ but don't blame me! It was my first time being in that kind of an emotional state in my life and I liked him so much that I didn't even mind marrying him. And kind of still don't! hahahaa..ok maybe you should ignore this last bit, you might get a heart attack!

He was kind of two sided. One side of him was this sensative guy that was absolutely adorrrable. The times when he called me to talk when he was upset about something. You have no idea how good it feels to know that your BEING matters to at least one person in this world......

but whatever.......

what i'm sayin is that I don really like have any emotions for him because well.....it's been almost 6 monthes since the last time that we talked and I've sort of forgotten or blocked everything. But I'd really appreciate it if he helped me.....

so we'll see how it goes!

I'll keep u up to date :)

Who's the winner?

Is the winner the one that's holding the gold medal in the end or the one that's smiling for trying to win it?

In everyday life, there are a lot of arguments. In every argument someone wins. Sometimes you win by logic, sometimes the other person that you're talking to accepts your answer and backs off. But sometimes, eventhough you're wrong, you say something that's totally irrelevant and illogical. Sometimes it's something that you pulled out of your A** and doesn't make any sense at all, not even to you! But it distracts you and everyone from the real argument. And I'm one of the only people who can do this! hahaha....let me warn you that it doesn't always work out..... sometimes it's followed by embarresment and that AGAIN can be followed by another argument that can distract everyone..... you can cry about it later ;)

Another way to win an argument is to just shut up after a while and smile. Well, I donnow if you can call it winning but when you smile the other person gives up and gets frustated from the fact that you are not paying any attention at all. In my world, I usually don't ever give anyone the satisfaction of knowing that they're 100% right in an argument! Well, you see, it's not something that I'm proud of. I usually don't argue unless I'm sure that I'm right. And if I turn out to be wrong, as I said before, I get so embarresed that I might just start crying! I never get angry, it's an emotion in me that I almost lack! So my tears replace my anger and frustration. :(

chikaar konam khob! daste khodam nist

OOPS!

I just realized today that I have lost my credit card! I'm trying not to worry but something at the back of my mind doesn't leave me alone!

Secondly, the most important problem is that I just found out last night that my whole government loan has been withdrawn! Which is just ridiculous because I was a ful time student last semester! But then when I was asking them to give me the loan for this term, I actually wrote down that I want to use these courses in the future as my electives in Commerce, and I think they can certainly use it against me! They have proof that I'm not thinking of finishing a program there.....

It's 5:45 a.m. now....... I woke up at 3 and started studying for Finance because I couldn't convince myself not to worry about the above problems.......... studying always helps........

If I read 12 more pages I've promised myself to go for a walk in the morning....... so I'm kind of motivated......hahaha

anyways.....G2G.......... laterZ!