Beyond me...

The feelings I'm having for this guy is beyond me.... Although I don't want to be feeling this way, i feel like I'm having a very sweet dream and i may wake up any day...

The walls are not down yet although if theres anyone out there that cd bring these walls fown itd be him

I never knew that I was the jealous type but here I am looking at his fb page and how he has added this pretty girl... But then I put myself in his shoes... Ive added a lot of good looking guys... Should he be worried? No! Of courae not

He's always on my mind

Too excited to be "alone" with him.... Can't stop thinking about it... That and how much I want to be with him... I was even thinking about when would be a good time to move in with him... Then I decided not to until we are engaged... Why not? :) well he may be scared... I'm not lying when I say that i have never felt this way before bcz this is the mature me making decisions! All the other times I was trying too hard but this time I'm just being me... And so far it seems likes he likes me just the way i am... Lol like that cheesy line from Bridget Jones where Mr. Darcy sats I like you just the way you are 😇 lol i know im day dreaming... But day dreaming is necessary for growth :)

Slowly drifting...

Sometimes I wish that this was it... I feel like I've been so blessed in so many ways that I feel like if I were to "go away" today I will do so with no regrets... I'm afraid of the future....  Drifting away meaning that I'm confused abt what I want to do in the future... I guess what I'm trying to say is who cares about risk management? So many thoughts in my head that I can't put down in a logical order...

I feel like I want to cry but I'm just gonna take a break and hopefuly everythings gonna b allright

I know that theres something wrong when I want to hide in my little corner and not interact w anyone.. Even with my sweet sweet DS.... I sometimes think that I should be able to share w him these ideas  bcz he's looking for complete and confused is not equal to complete

The truth is...

Man az sedaye jirjirakaa motennafferammm va inja hamash sedashoon miaad ahhh!!!

My emotions are still on a roller coaster.... Most of the times i'm indifferent trying to be happy and stay positive... I have no friends here... Moral of the story is that dreams change... But at the same time I'm beyond grateful and that's a fact!!!! Than you god!!!!

Cyclical emotions

I have them all day long... I go through it all, happiness, sadness, nothingness... I am learning to snap out of the negative ones... Reminding myself that yolo  and idea of letting go :)

1 week

It's been 1 week since I've arrived... I miss him and want him so bad but at the same time I'm dealing with school... Dillema/drama!

To top it all off

He's sick... :( just shed a tear... I want to cry more but dont want the headache

First day of class

Today was the first day of class. I was so scared but I tell myself that I can do this... And I will... I was even looking into dropping out at one point and looking into of they give me a full refund... I keep telling myself it's only 3 month😎

I have to work out and keep sane... And not study more than 2 hours at a time :)

:(

I miss him!

Shift in gear

It's so hard for me to put into words how the past 2.5 months were for me.... I feel like I have waken up from a dream... Who/how he is is nothing less than incredible.... Sometimes I get worried but I remind myself not to... It's possible for it to continue and it will continue...

I arrived in the small town today... I feel ok... Not good or bad just ok

Looking forward to going back in Oct