Yeki az bozorgtarin moshkelaate zendegi ine keh....

Aadam hichvaght nemitooneh befahmeh ke taraf vaaghean nemifahme yaa khodesho be nafahmi mizaneh? hmm..........

Maybe not.........

After a while of getting excited about doing a nose surgery I'm beginning to change my mind....

I've got a lot of compliments about my looks lately and am thinking maybe I dont really need the surgery to feel confident............

Louis Vuitton

After seeing a nice wallet on one of my "friend's" profiles I decided to search for it on ebay and see if I can find one on ebay........

After puting in the word "lui viton" I realized that I've spelled it wrong............ and since ebay doesnt correct the words for u I tried again on yahoo and realized that it's actually "louis vuitton" ...... ok..........so I tried again on ebay...........and guess what? The cheapest one .........with like 20 bids on it and 20 hours left is a card holder............that's $70 dollar ............ the rest ......... min $250............ with about 7-8 hours left...........

Are people crazy? Are they looking for ways to get rid of their money? No really! WTF is wrong with them...........to spend this much money on a small wallet is just plain crazy!

Or maybe I'm the crazy one for spending 10-20 dollars here and there on more than one item...... after all, I do have more than 7 watches that I bought for 10 $ each..... and each of them is now out of battery ....... and......... I never used them! I don't like to wear watches........

Even though I have become much better with spending my money........I think I should focus more on controlling myself when it comes to spending money.,........ these days I dont spend more than $100 on clothes/make up/ jewlerry etc......... but still........... if I can make that $10 or less it would be great! I dont need any more clothes in my life than I already have..........

I sponsored a child today.......... $35 / month........... at first I didn't wanna have any preferences over what gender they are .......or what country they're from........ or how old they are.......... but then I decided to choose it............ a 6-8 year old boy from india......... caz I figured Indian people have a more potential to grow up to be something extraordinary....... and I chose a boy caz in eastern population there are more opportunities for boys than for girls........and the age........ I chose 6-8 caz I'd have more passion helping a kid at that age than an older/younger one

that's it for now........ BYE

OH MY GOD

WOW

I'm too excited to say anything............ um........... we'll see what happens.......... it would truely be a dream come true if it happens......... like ............seriously..........for real...........like ............. O MY GOD ........... WOW

Thank you god for the opportunity

LET ME MAKE YOU PROUD

AASHEGHETAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM

Divaanegi ham aalami daarad!

One minute I'm like...........wtf........... I hate him..........he's so rude...........good thing I don't have him on my friend's list anymore.........

The next minute I'm like.........hmmm............can I add him plzzzzzzzzzz? <3

LOL

And then I started laughing becaz I'm so crazy! Seriously........... this is what they mean when they sing all these songs about love that leads to craziness and insanity :D

OK OK.......don't worry..........I'm not that crazy yet.......... I'm Fiiiine

Vali tanhaa kasi ke khoondaneh kalamaati ke neveshteh baaeseh baalaaraftaneh zarabaaneh ghalb va larzesheh dast misheh ineh........... crazy VJ...... how I love him .........it's crazy :)

I wonder..........

How it will be like to meet with someone that u have so much love and passion for........

Hmmm...............

Quit dreaming and come back to reality!

Bauuushehhhhhhhhh :">

A'saab tilit mikoneh!

IN BASHAR......... VJ

Asaabamo be ham rikht :( For now.........it's gonna go away soon......... but have u ever felt a rush of blood in ur face from anger......... and ur hands starting to shake?

He's the only one that can do that .......... and the sad part is the fact that I don't understand why this is happening after 3 years! lol

whatever.........it's a mystery that i'll never know

:D

OOPS

The plan worked.......... el preguntaba algo despues de tiempo que yo pongaba una pictura LOL

Pero ahoy no se que necessito hacer? probablamente nada!


But it's funny ....... caz I was surely thinking it!

There are two things I have to say!

1) Um creepy

2) Um..... jealous!

1) Ok .......... so lets cut to the chase.............. I've recently developed feelings for someone......... not to the extent that I'm head over heels in love........... but just enough to love to be around him ....... he makes my day...........seeing him puts a smile on my face and bring up my energy through the roof.......... Ok........so far so good right.........."what's the problem?" you may ask..........I tell you what the problem is.......... he has a gf.......... does that make me a creepy person? I don't think so.......... he just makes me happy........ what's wrong with that? Nothing.....Let me just be happy then!

2) Jealous ..........like crazy jealous of people that are doing their grad studies........... seeing them makes my blood boil and makes me wanna study for my masters too.......... not because I want to get my masters......... .just because knowing that someone (a girl) has their masters degree and I don't makes me very very unhappy!

3) oops forgot to mention the third point ........... I realized why I'm unhappy today........ because I'm ashamed of my job............ I want to hide all the time and not tell anyone about my life......... so in order to make my life more enjoyfull I should get a better job......... a job that would be good enough to mention to others and be proud! .......... so I shall think about changing my job......

Darn it!

As I was coming home from work, I was thinking of a topic for this post. I just wanted to say "Man digeh montazereh hichkasi nistam keh biaad" caz I've kinda tried to shift my focus from the whole idea of thinking about guys to thinking about other things like bidding for an item on ebay or selling something there (which by the way turns out to be a lot more stressfull than one might think!)

I was kinda happy and relaxed last night so I stayed up until around 2:30 reading a few poems and even posting one on facebook........ just something irrelevent to love .... just life......... well maybe a mixture of life and love but whatever

Everything was fine until a few hours ago when I got a msg from this guy (the one that danced with me in the halloween party) asking me if I wanna go have sushi with him and his friends tomorrow! (how random!) ....... why can't I just be left alone? Tired of running away from people.........seriously........... I dont want to hurt them..........so why can't they just walk away without me having to force them ( = feeling guilty for hurting them!)

Anyways........ I told him that I can't go caz I live too far away from where they want to go to...... and secondly.......1) it would be wrong to go caz that would mean that I'm leading him on wouldn't it? 2) Even if I wanted to go for my own benefit of meeting new people it would be wrong becauze of reason 1....... so I shouldn't go............(why is life so complicated?!!)

The other thing that I was gonna make a topic for (but now I'm gonna just mix it in with this one) = people can't show you who they are by saying things........and not even by doing things........ it's how they feel inside that counts....... and you can hardly ever tell how someone really truely feels about you!

I'm not happy about the fact that I don't like the black guy that works at my work place.......... I don't like the fact that he likes me (he's older so don't get any ideas and by older I mean 50+) ....... the fact that he likes me because I always try to be nice to him and make him smile/laugh makes me feel guilty......... because I really don't like him and I wish that he didn't work there...... but I always have to fake being nice........and I hate being fake! So he makes me feel bad about me....... which ultimately makes me not like him/ want him gone even more! So what would have been a better way of dealing with this situation? Would it have been better if I ignored him from the beginning? NO ......... would it have been better if I was nice to everyone but him? NO......... so is it better to fake being nice just to keep him happy? YES....... so am I doing the right thing by being fake? YES (too confusing again!!)

The sad thing is that this is not the only situation that I've encountered........ I know that in general I have a hard time liking people.......... hmmm.... maybe that's not true...... in general I actually like everyone just the way they are ........... but even though I like them they don't make me happy........ so being around them doesnt make me happy.........therefore, their existence is indifferent in my life.............. in the case of the black guy it's a bit different because I just don't get a + energy from him......... I can sense people that are sad from within....... and he's one of them........ and their - energy affects me......... and when they smile I know they're not truely happy ........... so ..........

what else did I wanna write here? I feel ok .........

p.s. man digeh montazereh hichkasi nistam keh biaad!

Another day..... another night..........

I'm a bit less sad............and a bit more numb........ is that an improvement?

I feel like I'm less stressed.......... maybe becaz I haven't done much thinking lately IDK

Haven't thought about :X in the past few days...... and by :X I mean love not a specific person! lol

So I guess life is better...... selling something on ebay.......... I hope they bid high for it :D and........ buying something from ebay for the first time........so it's kinda exciting..........

Less than 2 months until my birthday......... where to go? what to wear? is it too early to think about these things? lol............ what can I say........ I am a girl :P

p.s. Kheyli doos daaram poozesho bezanam........ bache porroo! I should try harder.......... he's my only competition/hero/motivation in life! (subconscious talking so ignore!)

The day is almost overrrrr

I'm going to sleep in less than 20 minutes........ YAY

I don't think I've told you anything about living in the GRAY area have I?

This was a conversation I had with my friend a while ago......... I was telling her about how I always wait and see what happens ......... and how there are a lot of maybes in my life........and she said that I have to learn to choose a side........... I can't let myself stay in the gray area for too long........ it's like struggling with yourself 24/7........... and I guess sometimes you have to choose a side........ even if you're not sure........ choose something and stick to it! (as I'm writing this I know that I'm not doing it....... I just can't....... I might do it......... gray area.......AGAIN!!!)

Yea ..... life sux like this........ my sis + bro in law + niece are leaving soon :( :(

How about this........ I will not chat until they come back......... and I will only check FB...... hmmm..........twice a day ......... this way I can focus more on school............if I ever get the energy to fill out the application form..........

OK ....... I will try to do something very soon....... I'll keep u posted........ right now life is very sucky....... lol...... if that's even a word......... and I keep wanting to go to chatrooms....so I can forget......... but I will stick to my promise........... no matter what happens.......... and as I'm writing this I get scared........ scared for me and my sanity.......... but not chatting does create a satisfying feeling........so maybe it won't be that bad............ not like I've never quit before.........

ok..........the goal is to FOCUS ON LIFE

Cheers to that

p.s. I wonder if they're still together? not that I care....... just out of curiousity........... looking for trouble ........ LOL ........... ok BYE

Hich ghanoonoi voojood nadaareh........

Chaagh baa laaghar.........
Ghad boland ba ghad kootah......
Sefid ba siaah..........

Bayad do nafar az ham khosheshoon biaad hamin.......... va eyla shode zane ghadesh az marde am boland tar bashe o chagh tar bashe alan ba ham bache daaram shodan.............
Shode dokhtare chaagh ba pesare laaghar ba ham 5 -6 saale doostan

Shodeh dokhtare khoshgel ba pesare ghad kootah doos shode bashe

Hamaro khodam didam...... vali aslan nemidoonam chejoori in ettefaagha oftade.....chejoori in adama asheghe ham shodano ba ham moondan.......

Cheghad man bachham!

Single and loving it!

Slowly recovering........ I have my moments of sadness but it's ok........ I'll just try to ignore life for the next little while and see what happens.........

شوق می‌گوید که آسان نیست بی او زیستن......صبر می‌گوید که باکی نیست گو دشوار باش

My advise to you is to..........

GET the point people!
Do not try to fool yourelves......... seriously........

If someone seems to have lost interest in you the chances that they have is very high! The signs might be things like them not replying to your msgs as often as they were before.......... rejecting to see you 9/10 times.......... and just in general not wanting to talk to you

All I can say is that I'm sorry that it happened....... but you can't force someone to love you........even if they did at some point in the past..........feelings change..........people change.......... and that's just the sad reality........... hold your head up and move on! It's not the end of the world

And for god's sake...........stop bothering them............ IT'S OVER!!!!

For the 1000th time.......... you can't want something that's not there......... something that does not exist anymore.......... u basically just can't........... so move on!!!

Ok maybe this is not the best advise in the world.......but this is what I do........ I walk away....... there is a chance that if I stayed things might have changed......... that person could change..........who knows............. it's your choice ........ leaving is the easy way out.......and I choose the easy way out.............do you have a problem with that? Not because I'm not patient.......... just because it hurts too much.........and the chances of them loving you and caring for you the same way they did before is not very high..............

Do stick with them if you're married .......... leave if you're not! Look for happiness somewhere else.............

That's it for today............

p.s. I talked to SF today......... awwwwww......... :X ......... just that......... he sometimes makes me really happy ...........that's all :)