Sunny and warm outside but feeling dead inside

 But not giving up yet….

And I still feel as ridiculous as I did when I created my post the other day… feeling ridiculous for complaining…

What I was hoping and praying for with every cell of my body didn’t work out…. I feel like I have been punched in the stomach and can’t get up… at least that’s how I feel on the inside 

I feel like I want to cry a river… I haven’t felt like this in a long long time… probably since I was looking for a job myself l. But at least back then at least I knew how to deal with stress. I’m tired of being hopeful… and tired of feeling empty inside despite all the good things that are happening.

They say everything happens for a reason…

Geleh…

 I have been feeling down lately but waiting and praying for good news… 

On a totally unrelated note, ignorance is bliss! Reading people’s stories on the app has made me anxious and sad. I guess it is a related to what I said above :) as I was saying, I never thought the journey I am on would be so complicated and I’m not sure if knowing that I am not alone gives me any comfort. 

The truth is that I have been annoyed with myself more than being kind with myself…. And the only reason for that is because I don’t want to ignore all the blessings and just focus on something bad that has happened… but the heart feels what the heart feels… and I feel annoyed that it’s been ao hard to control that

I feel like a sad billionaire… and no I am not a billionaire but I feel like a sad billionaire… IYKYK

Everything happens for a reason

 Every day you die a little bit earlier for reasons that are “silly” to those around you, while being super grateful.

It’s possible to be extremely grateful and sad at the same time.

I feel like everything depends on what happens next werk and I am so hopeful! That’s the main reason for my stress, while remaining calm.

I know that everything happens for a reason and I am praying from the bottom of my heart that by April 27 we hear good news 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

Of course, this is not the source of my frustration… the world came crashing down on December 27th… while I remained strong… or so they said and believed.

And I told myself: everything happens for a reason!