Note: the following writing is based on one of my momentarily thoughts and could be totally meaningless. So don't be surprised or shocked by what u read.
ok..fine... i don't care who reads this weblog.... i NEED TO write down my thoughts..and no I don't want to save them as drafts......
so here's what's happened in the past few days:
I've started to read this book called "creating your future" by Dave Ellis... so i've kind of encouraged myself to do things that I normally wouldn't do.... I've decided to overcome some of my fears and do things without worrying about the consequences....
so on Tuesday. as I was wasting my time online, doing god knows what? probably reading poems or creating my profile....and chatting, of course, I decided to call someone whom I used to chat with about 4 monthes ago, when I went to school..... and correct me if I'm wrong... but I think he was the last guy I only talked to for a few monthes...... after chatting with him I'd realized that I can't just chat with people for the rest of my life and I need to see them in person........ that's when I realized I needed something that's more real!
so I called him!! at first I was nervous and was walking around the room for about 5 minutes.... but then I sat down..... it was very nice to talk to him..... he SEEMED like a very successful person...... he has great personality and A LOT of self confidence ..... he has many friends and his life is right on track.... he has almost whatever he wants and I'm sure he can get whatever he puts his finger on..... that's just a quality that the scorpios have!!! like seriously, any scorpio that I've met so far (4) have been like this.... they're very motivated individuals that work so very hard to get what they want and they usually get them in the end.........
I've always felt like a small person in front of successful people like that......I kind of do lose a lil bit of my self confidence when I talk to these kind of "cool" people but at the same time I dream of a future in which I become on of "them".......
(
oh by the way it's 7:30 now...I'd written everything except for the last paragraph last night..before I go to sleep........ and I'm gonna write a few irrelevant things
are they? before I start telling you the rest of my story
when I woke up 1) I thought about how I'd feel about calling Mr. V ..... and I feel like I don't mind calling him (70 % true) but what's the point? he's the type of person that I'd like to "report" my accomplishments to but so far I haven't got any in the last few days ...so there'll be no point
then I thought about HIM..... which him? oh c'monnn I'm talking about #3..... I have really confused thoughts about him..........he's such a calm person....he IS peace and creates peace... he looks like an eagle and acts like an eagle........like seriously... if you look at him you'll see what I mean....... and for some reason I can't stop myself from thinking about talking to him....... I see no harm in that..... he only has one good friend ... maybe I can be the second one?
hmmm...what? do u see a problem with that?
aakhe the stupid guy doesn't care about his school at alllll... he hasn't picked his program, baught his books, or got a loan...... and a lot more!!! I donnow what it is that is keeping him from doing these important things? he says he has to go to work everyday.....what a good excuse!!!)
there are 2 more things that I'm going to say before I go back to what I was saying before
first = when I woke up this morning the first thing I saw was #4 coming online........ he'd messaged me a few days ago askin me when I usualy come online ...... I don't want to answer him eventhough I was tempted to do so last night..when I was bored....... but I won't .... I haven't talked to him for about 2 weeks now and I dont want to anymore ... hopefully he'll eventually forget me..
ah I forgot the other one..... someone came online and distracted me......... he's telling me that he wants to delete me......I've been chatting with him on/off for about 6 years.. it doesn't make sense!!!!
okkk...i've been talking to him for about 30 minutes now... he told me that he'll keep me on his list as long as I give a reason for all the things that i say to him.... every time i talk to him he asks me questions about almost everything i tell him...even the ones that are not that complicated to understand........
)
okkkk.... ummmm...where was I ? ahann...
on tuesday... after I talked to him I went to work.......
when I had a break I called my "friend".... I asked him about how she's doing and she said she's going to a good bye party ..... her bf's (the one that she broke up with...x-bf??) sister is leaving so she HAS TO go ... i said ok fine do whatever u want ..and then told her about the call I made.... and asked her what she's doing on friday night ? i thought she might want us to hang out ... and she's like... i'm not sure what i'm gonna be doing yet... but give me a call tomorrow night......anywayz... i didnt call her on wednesday..... i was at work and got home at around 11 .....
but on thursday ..which was 2 days ago.. I did a lot of things
first of all I wanted to go get my U-pas...... it took me 4 hours to get ready and decide on what I want to do...... I was out of the house by 1:30 ........I took the seabus so I can take the bus that's in front of the building after... but then I decided to go to the library in VAN and see if #2 is there so we can go to UBC together...
so instead of taking the bus .. i took the skytrain and went to the library....he wasn't there :( ......
I had 20 minutes before my ticket expires...so quicky I went back to the bus stop ......and went to UBC......... got my U-Pass........was happy..... was thinking of going to look for a job...then thought I should buy a suit first..... went to park royal to see my "friend" so we can go shopping together after she's off work... I got there... she tells me that she's meeting someone in the parking lot after work... she said she'll call me later to tell me all about it... so I was like.. ok fine... I went and baught a blazer, skirt, and pants........was happy.........
thennnnnnnn... i baught some jewlerry.... and since I knew that HE works there.... I decided to go and see if he was working that day....... I'd done it 4 times before but this time I forced myself to go to the store and ask to see if he's working that day or not......I was at the door......seemed like there's no one in the store... but then I walked in.... and........ there he was... with his head down reading the newspaper....... he didn't notice me going in...... so I had to say something ...... "bahh bebin ki injaast"...... now i had his attention....."ee salam to inja chi kar mikoni" ......me "hamintori dashtam kharid mikardam..." ... oon " khobbb digeh che khabar...." ... me "khabareh khassi nist miram sareh kaaro miaam..." ... oon "manam har rooz injaam" .... then I was just staring not knowing what to say... what was I doing there? ... I was soooooo glad that there are no customers in the store......oon "chi kaaraa mikoni" ... me "emrooz raftam U-pas amo gereftam...gharar boodeh befrestanesh dameh khoonamoon vali ta dirooz sabr kardam nayoomad...." ........ anywayz ...we talked about school for a bit and I started asking him what he thinks I should buy for my "friend"'s birthday........ he's like " man chemidoonam" ....... me "khob to ke masalan tavallodeh dokhtara miri baraashoon chi mikhari" ......oon "chizi nemikharam...taazeh oonaa vaasam yeh chizi mikharan ke tavallodeshoon beram" .... lol...man "khob baraayeh tavallodeh khaharet chi migiri" ........ oon " paarsaal ke ye gardanbandeh 80 dolaari kharidam......" ... yekam fekr kard bad goft... "800 dolaar..." ....... goftam "oooooooah in hameh...." ... oon "aareh..mageh chieh...khaaharameh!" ... i was thinking "yea right ur such a big liar....." .......ba'd goft "khob cheghad mikhaay pool kharj koni" goftam 40-50...then he started showing me some of the bags that were on sale...he started suggesting some... behesh migam " vaaa to cheraa enghad salighat badeh" ... seriously..... he was pointing at all the ugly ones!!! kholaase after about 10 minutes I picked one and I decided to buy it..... his manager who was i think a russian lady who had a very serious face had come back...there were a few customers in the store too... but he was still talking to me in farsi!!! kheyyli az in kaaresh khosham oomad.......
as he was entering my name in the computer... he said... do u want me to write your friend's name in case she wants to come back and maybe repair the purse? .... I said sure..... then when he asked for her name I remembered that she'd told him what her name is when she called him a few days agooo... so I was like "ummm ..... P........" ... he said nothing........
after that I went to another mall... baught a few more things....... and went home....... looked at my desk ... and there it was... the letter that I was expecting the day before with my U-pas in it!!!!!! if I'd only checked the mail before I get out of the house that afternoon...........
but whatever........ after I came home I realized that #2 is online...so I told him that I'd gone to the library to look for him...and he said he was there till 5...maybe he'd gone out to get something to eat at the time that I'd got there.............again.. I said.. ok WHATEVER........
yesterday I went to work......... saw N........ she's back from iran... yay!! I really like her a LOT ........ so I might think about hanging out with her for a while...she's alone right now ...all her friends are in iran and her family too... I told her to drop off her resume at our store because she was looking for a job.......
called P twice....she didn't pick up....
I donnow what I'm doing on friday night...just give me a callWHATEVER........
oh and ......umm... last night........ I chated with MR. V.... and he turned on his webcam..... aakheyyyy... i think he's very attractive.......... I give him 9/10 .......... or maybe even a little bit more........ hehehe......... I donnow what to think of him? actually I do know........ I'd like to think of him as a really really really realllllllly good friend..... I think about the advise he gave me all the time...... he's a good motivater...... i guess?! I donnow..... I'm just a lil bit confused though..... I haven't decided about what I'd like to think of him YET...... nemidoonam
ah dige dare haalam az computer be ham mikhore....az saat 7 neshastam inja....
I need to take a break...well I'm goin to work at 12......... so I have 2 hours to eat breakfast ...take a shower...and then get ready........
okkkk fe'lan bye
