Friday, Dec 26, 2008
This could mark the beginning of a new cycle of activity for you. You could really be feeling recharged by all the fresh new energy that should be coming your way at this time. Don't be surprised if you find yourself feeling a little more self-centered than usual right now, but that's quite all right.

It’s a good time for you to focus on your most important needs and desires and what you really need to make your life more complete. Now’s the time to take the initiative in all matters and to go after whatever’s necessary to make your dreams come true. Just try to sweep any past difficulties aside and get ready to make a fresh start.

Chashm :D

Excited and Happy

I'l l tell you why



Except for the fact that I'm logged into Y! i'm planning to quit that



That's right



This is my new year's/ birthday resolution



You know I went to this party that I did not enjoy at all a few days ago, I felt so embarassed for dancing with a bunch of drunk guys..... I felt like I had let myself down.......... I realized I was disrespecting myself by dancing with a bunch of strangers...... because it wasnt even fun ....... they looked like low life people........ or 2 of them were actually 4 years younger ..... :-S........



anywaysssssss.......... but I'm so happy I had that experience because I finally came to my senses and realized that I dont need to do that......... I don't need nobody....... not anymore.



I have successfully let go of a happy ever after with VJ......... FINALLY....... I can't believe it......... I'm so happy .........god has finally let me let go ........ :)



I am no longer in facebook.



I almost hate......well not hate..... I dislike RD because of what he did last year at about this time........ I saw him at the party as well........ with his so called X but no longer X... again....... I'm happy for him....... but you know....... just because you are feeling down doesn't mean that you have to start showing emotions towards someone that you know you don't like........ like why would he say/ do things to make me think he likes me and then back off? I think that's just wrong......... but anyways.........



So god bless RD and KA + VJ and BR ....... happiest couple alive! lol



and god bless me for coming to my senses :D ......... it feels so good to have self respect...... it feels so good to be away from all the people that I don't like to be around anyways......:D ... I'm scared of saying this but I like being alone....... I feel SO at peace :) ......... I'm not sad that I'm lonely...... there were only "certain" people in my life who made me happy and those people are taken so I do truely believe that it's a waste of time to try to pretend like you like someone........ and spend time with them just so others wont think you're alone.... it's stupid isn't it?



I think I'm very very self concious.......the fact that I wear braces prevents me from communicating effectively



So I'm very much looking forward to the day that I take them off (Hopefully mid June)



And until then I don't have a lot of plans......... just trying to stay sane and maybe spend more time with my family...after all i'm the glue that's keeping "the pieces" together!



I'm just looking forward to next semester.......still not sure of which course to drop? But I will figure that out soon..........



By the way......what's the role of SFT in my life? seriously..... he pops up every once in a while...........the sad thing is that he's no longer a positive distraction! lol .......... we had a reunion last december or end of Nov I believe........and then he called in the sumemr and said we should go party together which we never did......... and again came online a few nights ago saying I should go play poker with him and also mentioned that there's a new girl who is not a gf but an exclusive friend...... lol....... and then said we should do coffee or something........... but what the hell? I mean what's the point? We are at the opposites of the pole for sure....... and when we are under one roof you can definately feel that something is wrong! hahaha...... he has said that he will call me but I hope he doesn't.......... I will have no problems meeting up with him after I take off the braces off...... again....... it's all a self confidence problem......... I feel like a nobody when I'm with him!!!!



and the big news..........which is not so big if you already know me........is the fact that I'm turning 23 :( :( :( :( :( in less than 3 weeks............ but it's funny because in the previous year I had a long 1 month grieving period......... but this year I dont really care...........



I'm not sure if all of this is because of what's happening in Mid june but it could be :D



I guess in a way I'm asking myself to hold on because I'm almost there!!



a lot of things are happening.......... I'm done with school in APRIL .......that's right .........finally graduating.....YAY



The new baby will arive sometime in May.....SUPER EXCITED........... elaahi khaale ghorboonesh bereh....... and by the way it's a girlllllllllll .............voooooooooooooy :*



And then June..........



lotsa good things...........so no reason not to be happy



and PN is in Iran searching for AMOR ........ lol......... I do truely hope that he's the one ......... just because that would mean that I'll be going to Iran for a wedding party in the summer ............ YAY

what else?

so yea.......everything is going well.......... All I need to do is to stop chatting............ haha........ and I'm trying to promise myself to stop for a while........ but we'll see........... I'll let u know....... I promise myself to not chat after I turn 23......... ok? is that a good deal? :D :D

omg......... i'm looking forward to so many things............ THANK YOU GOD

there's only one more thing I need to do.........and that's to clean my room ;)

weather at home is almost sunny.............. the winter sun......... working towards making it like summer! :X

(L)

Agar behet begooyam dar delam che migozarad, motmaennan mineshini va be haale man geryeh mikoni, keh ba'd az do saalo andaki hamchenaan har rooz beh yaadeh to hastam va beh TO va faghat TO fekr mikonam. Hichvaght nemidaanestam ke yek ensaan, yaa yek "moojood", ke be khiaaleh khod bi ehsas tarin dar in jahaan hast inchenin aashegh shavad aan ham az raaheh door. Maskharast na? Cheraayash raa az man napors chon khod ham nemidaanam. Vaghti paa dar zendegieh man gozaashti fekr mikardam aashegh boodam, alaan ke fekresho mikonam aashegheh yeki az to badtar! Vali aan eshgh nabood, shaayad in ham eshgh nist. Baa tamaameh jorat mitavaanam begooyam keh aan yek maah chenaan zendegieh maraa degargoon kard ke digar khod nemidaanam kistam va beh donbaaleh che migardam. Vaghti dar gham dasto paa mizadam vojoodeh to mesleh rozaneyeh noori bood dar taarikieh shab. Noori ke man dar moddateh kootahi be aan aadat kardam va tajrobash baaes shod ke digar nakhaaham beh taariki bargardam. Aari eshgheh man. In hast daastaaneh ghamangizeh man. Ammaa to haala, dar fekreh digar, dar aaghooshi digar daari az lahzeh lahzeyeh zendegit lezzat mibari. Va man injaa, tanhaa...... tanhaa baa khod migooyam ey kaash.........vali afsoos..... va baraayat behtarin haaraa arezou mikonam fereshteyeh man!