Daram divoone misham

Daram az atash mimiram
Abreh man koja mibari

Taneh man khoshkido poosid
To be sabzeh ha mibaari~!

Ah....... I've been chatting so much.......and this time I have a laptop.........if u know what I mean

But I'm taking a break from it........ I PROMISE PROMISE PROMISE U AND MOST IMPOTATL MYSELF NOT TO LOG INTO CHATROOMS

I know I have an addiction.......but I also know that I can help myself

and....... many many other problems .......including family, school, present and future

In the past few weeks I've been weak.......... I don't know I was busy thinking about many things that I'm going to ignore from now on....... like having a bf......... I mean I spend so much time chatting that I might as well get a bf..........but it's not as simple as that!

anyways.......... A CH is gone..........today I said bye to him because he was going back........ I remember last week I was missing him so much ........ he was a nice kid.........but I think all he wanted was a gf......or many many gfs..........just because......... don't get me wrong he had a nice personality too.........for example he was caring.......... which was nice for a change............hahaha (desperate for love are we? yes.........but not by everyone!!) .........but to tell u the truth it felt kind of good to be cared for......... to have someone call u everyday........... :)

so he's gone......... and my other crush R D is still in town but I dont think he can let go of the thought of some day getting back together with his old gf............ I hadn't felt like this in a long time.......... I truely like him.......... I donnow him that well but he's on my mind all the time......... maybe because he's caring too........last tuesday he gave me a ride to school....... but then ignored me for the rest of the week..........and I can't have these kind of things distract me! I haven't decided if I should 100% stop talking to him........ I mean it's kinda sad to push away the people that you care about the most isn't it? :( ......but maybe I will

The thing is that I have to do well in school......... I HAVE TO........

The sad thing is that all I want to do is sing / dance / do some art work .....maybe play some piano .........

But instead I have to study finance and accounting.............. maybe someday I'll get to do what I really want to do...............


some day I might!

Pushing away the D**** and S**** ..... i don't want to ever be ..... any more...........

Bad things have been happening to me.......... for example on friday I came home early so I can get some sleep........ but then I didn't have my key and got stock behind the closed doors.......and then chated for like 3 hours with a 35 year old guy!!! ........and then felt so sick and disgusted and sad and mad that I started crying........... I was hungry and hadn't slept the night before!

It's not good when bad things happen to you one after the other...........

But you can't stop.........because time will not wait for you!

HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY
BE HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

:) :) :)

I'm going back to school tomorrow
A few things don't seem right and this kind of worries me
It seems like my comm392 did not get transferred and it's one of the courses that i DEFINATELY do not want to redo...... I hope everything would work out.......

It's amazing how much I have improved from last year....... I went out with someone tonight...... he's nice and everything......and I don't mind hanging out with him...... I mean unline a lot of guys I dont 100% dislike him ....but he seems like a player....... I donnow....... He tried to hold me and....... and it seemed like that's what he does with everyone so he doesn't reallly appreciate it and I don;t like that........ I don't know what I will do but compared to how easily I fell in love two summers ago this is an improvement........ or maybe I have become the most unsensetive human that ever existed........ I don't know what to do....... i'm worried about school and that's all that matters....... I am done thinking about guys....... they are all as*h*les in one way or the other :D

I'm goin to go to sleep now because all my classes this term start at 8 30 and I have to wake up at 5:30 everyday........

GOOD NIGHT

BE OMIDE KHODA :X :* .......the only true love :)