An advice I read about on a dating website.......

Sounds like this is going to be me in a few years.......

Hi Dr. Mooshi,

i recently discovered your website, and have been "observing" the activity between the persian singles. The cue that obviously made me search for a persian singles website is that i am still single, 28, frustrated and near giving up. Im pretty attractive, which gives me a little ego (maybe too much) To give you a little background about my "successful" relationships in the past...i have had three to non persians men..i always imagined myself with an american or non persian, but i ended up getting hurt each time. I felt as though other cultures do not get "brought up" to be married or be serious. Regardless of the culture...i feel like i will never win. The man i want is not reachable or are players or simple does not want me, and the men that would marry me tomorrow i don't even look at twice. Why is it that Im drawn to men who are a bit arrogant, self confident, cocky... you know the type. I have passed up many opportunities with men who would have treated me like a princess, but unfortunately i was never attracted to. I mean.. there must be something wrong with me. One guy i dated for two months was so giving, loving...almost too into me, i broke it off after the first excuse i could find.. I guess i like a man who keeps me on my toes. I personally think thats not normal or healthy, not for someone who wants to be serious and settle down. But thats is why i am writing you...i need professional advice. I just feel so lost, and wonder if ill ever meet the man who truly wants me as much as i want him. Where and when does one compromise without settling? please clear up my confusing and tangled train of thoughts...if possible. Or is my issue one of human nature?

Thank you dearly for taking your time.

Dear Friend,

Okay. Wow. Where to start?!

First, thank you for writing in. Yes, you do need help, and I'm happily going to guide you in the right direction. Here are some of my thoughts:

It's not about being Iranian or American or anything else. Men are the same and different across the board. The reason you were hurt has nothing to do with culture, it's because of the type of men you date. You obviously like the "player." You are attracted to the arrogant, ever-elusive, emotionally unavailable man who loves himself more than he ever loves you. Why are you attracted to these types of men? I suspect that despite your thinking that you are attractive, you actually lack true self-confidence and self-esteem. Remember, we get what we THINK we deserve. Apparently you do not believe that you are worth a man falling all over you...because, well, what's wrong with that guy? Something MUST be wrong with a man who falls so head over heels in love with you and wants to be with you all the time...that would be too much! Right?
Believe me, you're not special. MANY women do exactly as you because they have not yet developed a sense of worth and self-identity. Also, keep in mind that EVERYONE (with very few exceptions) wants to get married and understands the importance of it...not special or different there either.

You're barking up the wrong trees, mostly because you don't think you're worth the right ones. As soon as you realize that you are, you'll be begging those "nice" guys to come back. And believe me, as soon as you get a taste of a nice guy, you will never go back to the "arrogant, self-confident, cocky" ones! It's easy to get someone...hard to keep them around.
My advice for you? Take some time off from dating. Develop yourself. Think about what your own insecurities are and how they might be affecting your judgement about men. The more you improve yourself, the better a mate you will find.

Remember (GUYS and GIRLS): Beauty fades, but dumb is forever.

Sincerely, Dr. Mooshi

Hmmm /:)

A few minutes ago I was like "Hmm, i dont miss him right now..... I should forget about him" but now I wish he was online so we could talk

He's asked me to meet him in Bermuda.... but I really really don't think that will happen.......

Good night

خالی از بغض هميشه پرم از ستاره امشب
اگه خوابم اگه بيدار با منی دوباره امشب
شب برگشتن آينه شب نو کردن تن پوش
شب بوسيدن ماهو شب وا کردن آغوش
واسه گم کردن اندوه امشب اون شب دوباره س
شب پيدا شدن تو شب ديدار ستاره س
تو رو پيدا کردم امشبب عد شبهای مصيبت
بعد دل بريدن از من بعد دل بستن به غربت
تو رو پيدا کردم امشب وقت گم شدن تو رويا
وقت پوشيدن مهتابوقت عريان تماشا

To shabo az man gerefti, to mano daadi be khorshid....

I like my Mr. Dr



He's so nice.........he's funny and he makes me like living :)

How do you overcome being a retard?

In the past 10 years of my life I've really tried to overcome my weaknesses so that I wouldn't feel bad about them everyday. One of them being lack of my knowledge about a lot of things in this world.......... but last night we went bowling with about 20 other people and I managed to get the least score among them. I wish I was at least close to what they scored but I almost scored 0 points whereas the others scored about 60 at least......whenever I tried to roll the ball I told myself "come on you can do it" but at the back of my mind I knew that I couldn't.............

And that's the sad reality............ I should just go live in a cave and never come out!

P.S. It was one of those "wow, why am I living in this world" moments........

A true life story.........

I've started chatting with this guy from California...........he's, of course, persian (Otherwise I wouldn't talk to him!) ......... and he is a Physician........... he's very sweet....... we have great conversations...... so one would think "wow, how great! good for him.... his family must be proud"........ but the truth is that his family has fallen apart.........

His dad passed away when he was a teenager....... he had to take care of his younger brother and mother......... so far it sounds ok........a lot of people grow up without a dad.........

His life has become chaotic in the past few months........ his grandpa past away in december in a tragic way....... he was healthy and everything but he got hit by a car......... his grandma moved in with them.......... and a month after his aunt was diagnosed with breast cancer.......... she's very sick........ he keeps taking her to the emergency room......... she's not even 50 yet

I can't imagine what he's going through............. I really can't.........he's asked me to pray for his aunt.......... and I hope god helps him and his aunt..........

Khodaya, khodet komakeshoon kon ........

Man begoo chi kaar konam in hameh bi kasio?

I think I know what my problem is.........

My problem is this: I'm so very unhappy with who I am as of today.......... I'm very pleased with myself for having learned how to handle my emotions (to the point that I've lost them all, now I don't get embaressed about anything, I don't love..........basically I don't feel.........)

I'm hoping to become a cooler person......... I want to become a successful business woman! That's my goal........ to become something...........right now I'm a nobody............ I want to be a somebody...........

I tried explaining to my mom about the guy.......and how I liked his friend at the beginning.......and how I lost my interest in both of them............and all she had to say about it was: "Hm. I see"

There's no one that can help me but myself ........and I will do that..........I won't let myself down.......

PEOPLE ARE GREAT

They're hilarious.......in so many different ways...........they're so entertaining to watch

Sometimes I think most of them are a bunch of idiots! People that are looking for relationships and marriage are, in my opinion, a bunch of idiots........ and the way that you can see a couple and thinks to yourself "wow! what were they thinking? They don't seem like a good match at all" makes me wonder "Wow! These people are crazy!!!" .......and then they go to relationship counselling........... or the ones that are not in a relationship go to psychologists to find out what's wrong with them! Why does our world have to evolve around relationships? There is sooooo much in this life that evolves around sex! SO MUCH.............too much........our conversations, acts, everything............. if this is our focus who is going to make this world a better place?

Not that I'm doing anything..........I personally believe that my existance is a waste........... and I have broken some hearts which is kinda sad...........but at the same time I have made some people happy too..........so it's neutral

Good for Bones (From the TV show Bones) for sticking up scientefically to what works for her which lead to her deciding that she really doesn't want to be with agent Booth! She's my heroine! :D

P.S.

I think the fact that at one point I let myself believe that I'm in love with his friend could be a small reason why I could not have any feelings for him either caz I was just confused about everything after that..........

Closure.....

I think I'm not confused anymore.....I've decided not to talk to him ever again.......

Here's a summary of what happened

1st time: I went out with him, his friend, and my "friend" ...... I knew there's a possibility that he might like me.......so when we went out I was trying to focus on him and get myself to like him ..... and even though it was not love at first sight or anything I thought he's a nice guy... so I decided that I will consider liking him if he decides to ask me out or go out

2nd time: He called me 3 days after our first meeting.... I didn't pick up and msged him....... msged him again the next day and asked if he wants to go out as a group the next day (Friday night) ......and in the end we decided that it's gonna be me, my "best friend", him, and his best friend...............we planned to take the bus together from UBC........ I found his friend very cute..... he made me laugh on the bus........he was very engaging, energetic, and funny.........in my opinion he liked me.......... by the end of the night I'd decided that I've fallen in love with him........and all of a sudden my friend said that he's told her he's interested in her........... my confusion began..........

3rd time: He called on the weekend..........we decided to go out for coffee on Monday.........then decided to go out for dinner not just coffee............ we went out on Monday.......... we kissed....... it was nice......... I had no special feelings for him....... I msged him when I got home........ he didn't respond until the next day at 6:00........but by 12:00 p.m. I'd decided that I don't like him because he hasn't even bothered replying to my msg..........and since I'm used to being rejected by guys I was like whatever, it was just a nice experience........... but then he called at 6:00 .......and I decided to talk to him ...... I told him about my frustration.........he apologized and asked why I hadnt called him so we could meet after work! I was like "well ur the one that was suppose to respond to my last night's msg.........".........he said he will call me again at the end of the night and that we should meet up the next day

4th time: We met up on Wednesday........... we went to this place.......... he said we should drink and I said know........we kissed........ just a bit........ but it was awkward......at the end of the date I realized I have no feelings for him.........

5th time: I had msged him on Friday morning to tell him I dont want to see him....... he insisted that we should........ so we went out......I told him I need a few days to think about how I feel....... he said ok...... i said bye to him.............still confused about why I wasnt feeling anything for him.......

6th time: We had decided to go to the movies and dinner with my best friend and his....... we did....... I found it awkward caz I didn't want to think about his friend caz he was interested in my friend........ but at the same time I had no feelings for my guy........ by the end of the night we drank........kissed.......... the next day I msged him and said I need a few days ......... he said ok

7th time: Charshanbe soori........ I msged him to see if he's there just because I thought it would be so awkward if we're both here and dont see each other........ he picked up......... we randomly ran into each other....... decided to go for dinner with my best friend and his and a few other people.......... he told me he had decided to forget about me but after me msging him he got confused.......and he told me he likes me........... my friend still sitting next to his friend......... I wasn't even trying to not like his friend.........I had no feelings for his friend......... I didn't dare let myself even go there..........

8th time: we talked on the phone on wednesday........... I msged him on friday to ask if he's going to the party and he said yes........ we saw each other there.........after dancing with him for a while I still couldnt feel anything..........we went out and kissed once........... but at the end of the night I told him that I've made up my mind and don't ever want to see him again

I just msged him a few days ago and talked for a bit....... he's fine........I'm happy .......... I shall move on with my life.......... and let's just leave it at that caz I'm very sleepy now

Life lessons - fairness & patience

So I was on the shuttle bus that takes me home today and when we got to the highschool which is about 4-5 stops (15 min walk) away from our place there were a bunch of students wanting to get on ..........and since the stupid shuttle bus is so small the driver told 3-4 of them to wait for the next bus (which would have come in about 30 min)........... as the bus was pulling away from the stop I thought to myself "hmm........I'm so selfish....... maybe I shouldve got off and let those students get in.....after all, it's only a 15 min walk from here for me.......and the weather is nice....." ........ as I was struggeling with my thoughts we reached my stop .........my stop is near my house and there is usually no one waiting for the bus at that stop..........however, to my surpirse, there were 2 guys waiting there who seemed to be from the highschool! .......so I figured that they had walked all the way up to the stop hoping that people would get off somewhere in between the school and that stop so they can get on........and that's exactly what happened!

Conclusion: If I had got off at the school, it wouldnt have been fair to the 2 students that had walked all the way up hoping that someone would get off so they can get on........

Life lesson: I guess u get the point :)

So my friend asked me to go on FB and search for my "Mr. Right" ........... I accepted it........... but after a few minutes I was like I dont even know what I'm looking for............that's always been the case with me............ I dont care about the looks........... or even sometimes the voice............ or the height............. none of this really matters..........it's the connection that we have after the first talk that matters.............. maybe I'm being childish..............so maybe it is important for me to go out with someone that's tall, with broad shoulders, muscular, and has a nice voice........... ok lets assume this is all true............ but what I'm really looking for is having fun........... to be able to talk with someone........... to be able to want to wake up at 5 in the morning to go out and watch the sunrise ........... chase after the birds.............. talk to strangers on the streets.............. something crazyyyyyyyyyy ........... that's what I want...............that's what I want to experience............. who is up for it?? Am I too old for that? I really hope not!

وقتی من می گم نمی خوام تو بمونی

دل من میگه بمون با بی زبونی

من دوست دارم ولی بهت نمی گم

دست سردمو به دست تو نمی دم

تو اگه با من باشی,قلبت می میره

گرمی قلب تورو دستام می گیره

چی می شد اگه تورو,زودتر میدیدم

حالا می بینم تورو,ولی خیلی دیره

بین ما یه عالمه,راه درازه

دل من باید با این,دوری بسازه

بین ما یه عالمه,راه درازه

دل من باید با این,دوری بسازه

من بهارو توی قصه ها شنیدم

تا حالا صدتا خزون سردو دیدم

تو هنوز اول این راه درازی

ولی من به آخر جاده رسیدم

تو اگه با من باشی,قلبت می میره

گرمی قلب تورو دستام می گیره

چی می شد اگه تورو,زودتر میدیدم

حالا می بینم تورو ولی خیلی دیره

بین ما یه عالمه,راه درازه

دل من باید با این,دوری بسازه

What an idiot

Ignore me

But I was just thinking that he's an idiot for doing everything so fast.......... he didn't let us get excited about any challenges before moving on to the next level....... he was so sure of everything from the beginning .........that was his mistake.......... to tell someone that u love them on the first date is just not right....... u cant blame me for not wanting to continue anything.......... I mean here's the problem........ sometimes u like someone and maybe u want to hear those words........ even if it's on the first date......... but when u haven't decided about how u feel about someone and that someone tells u that he loves u it ruins everything...........

To add or not to add

I used to have a crush on my MIS prof.............he was young.......and cute.............he was a PHD student......... I even had a dream about him once and wrote here about it ......... lol .............he's on FB now......... but I won't add him :D ........ maybe someday in the future........... not now............. caz now I'm lost......... I have to find myself first before getting anyone involved in my mess.........

I have an itchy nose that I can't scratch!!!

Darn it .........

(Yes I do write everything here! :D )

I feel a bit better

I talked to him a little last night....... he told me he's broken his fingers and cant type and asked me to call him...........I told him I can't.......... he told me he's working on his proposal which has to be done by the end of next week............we chit chated for a bit and then he said he has to go so I said bye...........

I'm glad he's ok...........I mean he's so busy with writing his proposal .......... he can't be thinking about me that much............which is a relief :)

Mano aashti bedeh baa man.........

Baa inkeh tamaameh vojoodam delam mikhaad baahaash harf bezaneh
Baa inkeh har saanieyeh rooz va shab va too khaabam hatta daram ba harf zadan ba oon fekr mikonam
Beh khodam in ejaazaro nemidam ke behesh zang bezanam....... ya behesh message bedam
In amal kheyli khodkhaahaanast
Vaghti ke man tasmim gereftam bahash harf nazanam dalil dashtam.......dalilam in bood ke behesh hich hessi nadashtam.........
Hatta oon avaayel az doostesh khosham oomadeh bood.......... nemidoonam hessam be doostesh koja raft........ ba inke chand bar baazam biroon raftim...... ba inke hanooz fekr mikonam kheyli doostesh pesare khoobieh aslan joore digei nemitoonam behesh fekr konam.........chon behtarin doostesh mano doos dashte ......... man hanooz oonghadr vojdan daram ke be khodam ejaze nadam kari konam........... avvalesh shayad nadashtam............avvalesh mikhastam behesh begam ke man az doostesh khosham oomade na az khodesh...........vali alan aslan......... alaan faghat gijam
Gijeh gijeh gij.............

In az bi karieh ziaadeh.......dobare bargardam sareh kaar dorost mishe........taa oon moghe nabayad be hichki fekr konam........... nabayad hatta be khodam fekr konam........

4-5 roozi baayad bi khiaaleh hameh chio hameh kas besham...........

Vali cheghadr delam barash misoozeh.......cheghad khoob mishod ageh manam doosesh dashtam.......... mishodim leilyo majnoon.........chon oon be andazeh majnoon mano doost dasht

Yek chizeh digeh........

Delam mikhaad beh hamashoon fosh bedam
Albateh foshe bad nahaa
Vali kheyli delam mikhaad beheshoon begam KHEYL KHARID..........doos daram too cheshaashoon negaah konamo begam kheyli kharin

Vaaghean ghadreh mano nadoonestan........ hamashoon........ hadde aghal az 10 nafari ta alan khosham oomade........ ageh eshtebah nakonam...........chera oona az man khosheshoon nayoomad? Ino nemifahmam...........man ke liaaghateh ino daram ke yeh pesari ke be cheshme man perfecteh az man khoshesh biaad chetor mishe ke oon baghie az man khosheshoon nayoomade?

Cheghad sakht bood.............23 saal zendegi e ke hatta shaanseh inam nadaashtam ke yeki azam khoshesh biaad............ hala ke labkhandam zibaa shodeh o darsam tamoom shodeh daaran saf mikeshan......hey azam tarif mikonan...............vali man ke too in 23 saal khoord shodam chetori mitoonam khodamo dobareh peida konam?

NUMB

Ehsaas mikonam digeh beh hich bani bashari ehsaasi nadaaram
Aslan dar kol hich hessi nesbat be hich chiz nadaaram

Shaayad bayad khodaro shokr konam ke hanooz ehsaas mikonam..... agar che in ehsaas faghat ehsaaseh bi ehsaas boodaneh ....... hadde aghal khodam midoonam ke bi ehsaas shodam

Chand vaghte in harfo mizanam? Kheyli vaghte na? Fekr konam kheyli vaghteh

Kheyli EHSAASE badieh vaghti adam hich shogho zoghi nadareh.........vaghti hichki khoshhalesh nemikoneh..........

Hatta kasaai ke yeh zamani rooshoon crush dashtam digeh az hichiam baram kamtaran....... yani 0% am beheshoon ehsasi nadaram....... va in mano mitarsooneh........... in kheyli tarseh bozorgieh

Hattaa az joda shodan az behtarin doostamam nemitarsam......... ehsaas mikonam ke ageh az ham joda shim va ba ham harf nazanim man hichim nemisheh..........delamam barash tang nemisheh.......... in kheyli badeh......... kheyli............baraayeh khodesh yeh joor faajeast............chetor yeki mitooneh enghadr sangdel baasheh? Man ino nemifahmam......... nemifahmam ke chera hich hessi nesbat be hich kas nadaram

Makhsoosan az vaghti ba in aghayeh jadid ashna shodam........... hamoon ke bara avvalin bar boosesh kardam.............az vaghti ba oon ashna shodam badtar shodam........... shayad kasai ke ghablan azashoon khosham mioomade be garde paasham nemiresan.......... emrooz mikhastam bahash harf bezanam.......chand bar raftam online............ yek bar oon ham online bood..........vali bahash harf nazadam..........vaghti yaadam oftad ke 0% am ehsas barash nadashtam tarsidam....... ba inke yekam delam barash tang shodeh..........vali vaghean vaghti bahash boodam hich hessi barash nadashtam.........boodo naboodesh baram farghi nadasht.........

Man ghablan ehsaas dashtam...........ghablan doost daashtano tajrobeh kardam...........ghablan hayajaani shodano tajrobeh kardam..........chetor mitoonam beh khodam beghabooloonam ba yeki ke kheyli perfecteh biroon beram ba inkeh hich shooro shoghi dar man be vojood nemiare? Nemitoonam............. na nemitoonam

Kaar ha va harf haai ke mizad kheyli romantic bood..........daghighan hamoon chizai bood ke man mikhastam......... ya fekr mikardam mikhastam......... nemifahmam chish bood keh enghad be delam nashest? Chera enghad be nazaram bad oomad ba inkeh enghadr khoob bood?

Tired of looking ugly!!!!

:(

I really ammm

I wanna remove the cast....... put on some make up and go out!!!

Daaram divooneh misham #2

Well not really ........

(It's funny that this was the title of my post on Jan 1st.......... when I was in love? Or I better say I had a crush on someone..........caz right now he means less than nothing to me!)

I'm going crazy.............the thought of letting go of someone so perfect aches my soul........ I'm not sure what it is that hurts me the most............the fact that I hurt him and his feelings or the fact that after letting him go I got so confused about who I am and what I am and how I can be so senseless! I can't even message him to apologize.......... apologize for what? why should I message him and let him think of me once more when I'm really done with him? Why do I check his profile everyday? Why do I go online to see if he's there? Why do I say to myself "I'll just say hi to him and leave caz I'm too busy?"........

The only reason I want to talk to him is still because I think that he's so perfect........... why didn't I let myself fall in love? Why did I have no feelings for him? Why? That is my question! How could I like him and his characteristics so much and not feel even one bit for him?

He made me realize something.........I'm mad at him for making me realize how senseless I am........where are all my feelings? Why have I trained myself so hard to let go?

That's my problem........... I have truely trained myself to let go of people..........including family members.........so I can easily move away if I decide to do so........... and with friends it's even easier......... I need to fix this.......... I need to fix myself! I dislike this.............being needy is better than being independent like this................ or ............is it?

I'm so confused!

LOST

My nose surgery was on Thursday morning............ everything went well......... I wasn't completely passed out when they did the surgery......... it's called twilight sleep....... I could hear them but my eyes were closed .....and it didn't hurt

After that I came home.......the surgery was about 45 min long........ I slept most of the day on thursday........ yesterday I was awake most day......... and today it's been ok so far........thank god I haven't had any pain....... just a lot of swelling around the eye.........I look like an Avatar!

As for the title of this blog.........I feel lost........ I think I will never fall in love caz I don't know how to love or whom to love.......... which is kinda sad.......

O well........

I'm gonna go to sleep now caz I'm kinda tired .........

Yeh ghatreh noor

I wish I could love ....... I wish I could get rid of all the negativities and darkness inside of me........ and let myself be loved..........

but most of all I wish I could love!

I wish I could love

I wish I could love

Baayad kami too cheshmaam khireh shi taa........

Baayad divoonegihaamo bebakhshi
Negaaheh sardeh cheshmaamo bebakhshi
Midoonam gaahi harfaam kheyli talkheh
Begoo mitooni harfaamo bebakhshi

Baayad gaahi too cheshmaam khireh shi taa
Bebini taa che had ghamgino khastam
Nemidoonam dakhileh delkhoshimo
Beh cheshmaayeh kodoom aayineh bastam

Yeh donyaa khaatereh too kooleh baaram
Mano az zendegi ma'yoos kardeh
Shabaayeh bi cheraagheh zendegimo
Poraz tanhaayio kaaboos kardeh

Too nooreh roshaneh roozaayeh ba'di
Hamoon roozaayi ke aayinehvaaran
Hamoon roozaayeh khoshrangeh delangiz
Keh too aaghoosheshoon parvaaneh daaram

To mitooni mano aashti bedi baa
Shabaayeh roshaneh setaareh baazi
To mitooni kenaareh man bemooni
To mitooni mano az no besaazi
To mitooni baa yeh labkhandeh shirin
Badihaayeh mano aasoon bebakhshi
Mitooni beh kavireh khoshkeh ghalbam
To be ahestegi baaroon bebakhshi.............