Va in MANAM...tako tanhaa... dar aastaaneyeh viraanegi..... empty....... is how I feel.

Friday, January 30, 2009

Facing reality......

Text messaging........... talking on the phone..........some more text messaging........

But what will happen when the 2 meet in real life? How would the conversation go?

That's the time when you forget about all your accomplishments at school and realize that you have nothing to talk about........"I was at school, then came home......then went back to school"......... I don't know .........it seems kinda scary...... I have no idea how this will turn out......... NO IDEA......... as my friend says...........I'm like a highschool student ........ experiencing what what people experience when they're in grade 10! but is it really too late? is being 23 like real old? so should I not do anything forever just because I did nothing in the past? I don't think so........ so I will go out there and see what happens and if I realize that I really do need something to talk about other than school I will come back feeling happy about the fact that I learned that and will work on that in the future..........

Will let you know!

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Open Your Heart
Bring more love into your life


You are not alone if you want a little more love in your life. Yet you may be forgetting the one person who can fill your whole life with love - you! By opening your heart to life, to others and to yourself, you'll grow love in every corner of your world.
Love lifeIf you want to get the most out of life, you really have to love it. It's easy to be overwhelmed by challenges and lose site of the beauty and joy life has to offer. But you don't have to let painful issues in your past or present get in the way of happiness. Part of embracing life is changing your expectations and realizing that problems in life are not always able to be "fixed" - but they can be managed. Through therapy, supportive relationships and self-love, you can learn to cope with your problems in a way that makes your life happier and healthier. And once you've learned to overcome your challenges through managing your issues, you can finally begin to appreciate life as a gift and really learn to love it.

Love others

Loving others isn't necessarily about serving soup at a homeless shelter or donating money to your favorite charity. Those things are great, but they aren't the only ways you can love others. Loving others means seizing opportunities in your daily life to be more thoughtful, helpful and caring. It means taking the time to consider how someone will feel before you say or do something. It means being sensitive to people who have different needs than you.
It's also important to find the best way to love our friends and family. Some people like to hear words of love, while others appreciate small gifts as gestures. Others want to see the love expressed in thoughtful action. And still others value physical affection above all. Take the time to discover how they are comfortable receiving love and then make an effort to share it with them in that way.
Yet the greatest challenge really is remembering to be loving every single day. It's sometimes difficult, but you must approach all things with a loving attitude. Whether you're dealing with a stranger who cut you off in traffic or a partner who really hurt your feelings, try to give them the benefit of the doubt. Just as light changes when viewed through a prism, a situation can be completely transformed when viewed through the prism of love. Try to see the world through a prism of love and all aspects of your life will be transformed and made more beautiful.

Love yourself

But before you can really love life and others, you have to start at the center of your world: yourself. It sounds so simple, learning to love yourself, but it's really one of the most difficult challenges of life. Learning to love yourself is not just about treating yourself to an ice cream cone after a bad day - though that's not a bad idea! Loving yourself is being at peace with your flaws and gifts. It's forgiving your mistakes and cherishing your triumphs. It's taking care of yourself for the short and long term.

Loving yourself is the most dramatic way to bring love in to your life forever. When you love yourself, there's always someone who will love you unconditionally: you

http://www.californiapsychics.com/articles/Features/707/Open_Your_Heart.aspx

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see? That's the answer I was looking for........ or the problem I have.......... LOVING MYSELF........ that's the first step...........I'm sure I can do the rest if I do this......... but how???? I've always thought that the only way to love me is to see someone love me.......... no? can't it work this way? recieve love and realize you're worthy of it before giving love? I don't know??? but then it turns around....... I dont really think that anyone would......so why wait? I have to do something for me first so I can love myself before I can love others.........

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Love forecast: Wednesday: Heating Up!

It sure did!

LOL

Today was definately one of the best days of my life........ hala I will tell you all about it if something else happens.........

I still haven't finished my assignments for tomorrow...... but as I've always said....... I can never find a balance between my life and school..........

So help me god

OMG so nervous.........donnow what to do next? how will it all add up/end up?

Beh paayaaneh chizi fekr nakon.............OK OK

GOODNIGT

Saturday, January 24, 2009

The moment of truth!

I guess there are two players in a game......... but you can only call it "a game" when both parties are somewhat playing.......... so what would you call it if one stands idle and let the other play to the point that he/she eventually realizes that there was no a game to begin with .......... what made him/her think there was a game? why was he/she playing? and what went wrong?!! where did the missing player go?

Hmmmmmmm...... dont know what to think........... and you know how much I hate the unknownnnn.......!!!!!! but I will get an answer within the next few days........ only then I will be able to put 2 and 2 together to make a judgement, a conclusion, and maybe have a self reassessment........

MUST BE PATIENT :)

No matter what happens, I must remember that everything happens for a reason .....in the end it will be a win-win situation.....

Update (Jan. 25)

Still no news............which is probably the answer I was looking for but I'll give it another two days....... it's ok that "it" didn't happen... I just really dislike the fact that I have to wait ......... :(

Update (Jan. 27)

Before the talk

So...after........... you tell me how many days?!!........... he's finally online.........with an offline message saying ......."sorry I was away for a few days, how are you".......... you were away my ***.......... seriously.......what kind of an excuse is thatttttttttt?

But I'm happy to see the message........veryyyyyyy happy.........but I'm gonna eat something befoe "the talk" 'cause it's 10 p.m. and I haven't had lunch yet....... I mean I had a breakfast sandwich, a toast, a bagel, and a muffin! NEED SOME FOOD

ciao for now............

No Talk

:( He went offline before we talk......... I was only away for less than 15 minutess!!! WHYYY :((

Update Jan. 30

Oops...... I forgot all about this guy since..... u know........ 2 days ago :D :D ....... he's SO part of the history........ unless he somehow pops up for whatever reason...... but since I won't be going online anymore the chances of us talking is slim to none...... unless I see him somewhere ......... or if he leaves me an offline message i'd reply lol

Yesterday was great..........today is great......... :X :X donnow what will happen yet........ actually not much has happened yet ........ but what has happened has made me very very :D :X :X aakheyyyyyyyyyy I soooo :X him.......... for now :X

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Agree to disagree........

Why should One spend time with Someone who One has nothing in common with???? whyyyyyyyyy????????? why did One start it again? and how will One end it??? will it ever end?????

One is happier when Someone is not around........ but the feeling of guilt for not talking to Someone is also bad........ so what should One do? Tolerate? there is no point!!!!

Tired of constantly being judged and criticized :( EVERY SINGLE TIME
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Khoshaa beh haalat
Ey roostaayi
Che shaado khorram
Che baa safaai
Dar shahre maa nist
Joz doodeh maashin
Delam gerefteh
Az aano az in
Ey kaash man ham
Parandeh boodam
Baa shaademaani
Par migoshoodam
Miraftam az shahr
Beh roostaayi
Aanja ke daarad
Aabo havaadi

Saturday, January 17, 2009

کو اجل تا سازدم زین درد بی درمان خلاص



کار دشوار است برمن ، وقت کار است ای اجل
سعی کن باشد که گردانی مرا آسان خلاص
کشتی تابوت می‌خواهم که آب از سرگذشت
تا به آن کشتی کنم خود را ازین توفان خلاص

:(

ahhhh

I'm so tiredddd and boredddddd.......... so now that I dont have to do a lot of studying I have time to think about other things.......... and it's just too much to think about........... tired of thinking........ :( :(


and I'm finally gonna admit that the fact that there's an anonymous person here bugs me! grrrrr........ whyyyy!!!! I feel like I cant write all that's on my mind anymore!!! so I dont think I'll be writing here much ......... which might be a good thing....... there are only 3 people on FB that had my weblog address at one point in the past (very very looooonnnng time ago)......... and I thought no body would find it since I changed the blog name and everything......... but seems like somebody did.........now they know too much about me ........ only if they read all the posts.........which I don't think they did because all 3 of them are not the type.....

whatever ........ bye for now

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Baayad toro peida konam......shaayad hanooz ham dir nist...

Tanhaa ke misham baa hesse bi kasi
Bi mehri az bas be man nemiresi
Donyaa yeh omri be man vafaa nakard
Dastaayeh ghorbat mano rahaa
Hichki aashegham nashod
Hichki pishe man namoond
Hichki khande haamo arezou nakard
Hichki del be man nadaad........
Hishki khoobamo nakhaast...
Hattaa khorshidam khorshidam vaasam toloo nakard

[new song in my head........ I like the rhythem.....and the fact that it has 2 of my favorite words (khorshid/toloo) make it sound extra special ;) ]

~*~~~~~~~~~~*~

I finally did it!



I dropped the stupid stats course........ now i only have 3 courses....... but....... I've never had less than 4! so i'm kinda scared........ cause sometimes when you have a lot you put more effort into getting it done.........



On the other hand, this way I can focus more on my life..... whatever that is..... at least I can try to start caring more about those around me......... not that I didn't care before...... now I can show that I care........ by calling them and stuff............



what else?



I kinda feel anxcious.... I hope I made the right choice............... and I have no idea where all these bad dreams come from?! Maybe now they will go away........

Anyways....... Har chi khodaa bekhaad..........


~*~~~~~~~~~~*~

Baayad toro peida konam
Har rooz tanhaa tar nashi
Baayad toro peida konam
To baa khodet ham doshmani

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Mission Accomplished!

You know what the good thing about subscribing on random websites is?

It's that they send you birthday greetings on ur birthday so you don't feel completely forgotten!

Last year everybody called or messaged me b/c I had facebook/ the year before 2 people called/ don't remember the one before that....... but this year....... eventhough I still have one of my "network accounts" open, with my BD in it, still no one even wrote me a scrap! which is kinda understandable b/c I haven't been returning people's calls at all so they've kinda given up on me......

But there's still hope........... P is finally coming back from Iran and i'm sure she'll call me ........ :D haha

I dont even care.......... there is one thing that's occupying my mind these days (besides me) ...... I'm still in shock from the news.......... all I can do is hope that evertyhing else will go smoothly /normally like it does for many others......... :(

please god.......... PLEASE :(

Saturday, January 10, 2009

Welcome to the world -23




Vaghti goleh yaadet
Too dashte khiaalam
Rooyido naporsid
Roozegaaro haalam
Vaghti booyeh eshghet
Pichid tooyeh khaabam
Yeh rooyaayeh shirin
Oomad beh soraagham

Boodi yaareh khorshid
Peyeh to davidam
Atreto too dashte
Aalaleh haa didam

Az baaghe negaaheh
To ghonchei chidam
Rangeh aasemoono
Too cheshmeh to didam

Royaayeh sepideh man
To ey eshgho omideh man
Havaayeh to daaram
Taaghat nadaaram

Royaayeh sepideh man
To ey eshgho omideh man
Bi to khaab nadaaram
Man bi gharaaram

Shodi pareh parvaaz
Baa to par keshidam
Khodamo roo baale ghaasedak haa didam
Taraaneyeh eshgho vaghti ke shenidam
Beh saaheleh sabzeh aarezou residam

Ghasreh aarezou haam
Baa to ghargheh nooreh
Dehkadeyeh royaam
Bi to sooto kooreh

Ghalbeh man az eshghet
Sarmasteh ghorooreh
Sardo bi gharaareh
Vaghti az to dooreh
So much is going on in this world right now....... but all I can think about is .....me!
Let the game begin..........

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