On another note..........

Life is so complicated....... every week I want something different...... and its scary........ so much is changing within me.......

one day I want to go to Peru.... one day to the US........ one day I wonder why I want to go....... one day I really want to be in a committed relationship........ the next day I get scared of the thought.......

Don't laugh at my childish thoughts.......

I'm just trying to figure ME out........

Update...

So I ended up going out with him.......

It was interesting to see him.......

There's something missing....... I don't know what it is yet...... but the good news is that not even in my relationship with HT I fell in love right away...... although it was "love" at first sight because I was attracted to him before I started talking to him, once we started dating I was not really that "into him" until probably a month after....

I know that I shouldn't compare but I can't start from ground 0 either.....

Also, I have once confession: we kissed!

I can't say weather or not I'm happy about that.....

I think it's weird to kiss someone before you have feelings for them..... and the only reason why I kissed him was because I had before too (4.5 years ago... in fact as I had probably already mentioned, he was my first kiss)

I hope he doesnt try anything else on me.......

It's a scary thought to think that I may get into a committed relationship with him.

I am already thinking about why I didn't try going out with a non persian guy.......

Plus, I hope that we can find some things in common.....

All I can say for now is that I like him..... he is acceptable..... that's all

Let's see if he can make me laugh...... I love guys that do that ...... plus it's not that hard to make me laugh!

Confession

I have some really exciting news for you!!!

I am going out on a date tomorrow......

I am surprisingly really really excited....

How did it happen? Well, I'm not quiet sure......

This is a guy who I had gone on some dates with 4.5 years ago and back then I didn't feel a chemistry with him so I called it off.....

I saw him for the first time after all these years about 1.5 months ago.... he messaged me on fb saying that it was nice seeing me..... I ignored it and got quiet annoyed with it actually

Then he saw me at another event.... we danced together with 1-2 songs...... then I got away and started dancing with some other people.....that night he messaged me and said that he wants to talk to me...... I told him I don't think its a good idea..........

He saw me at another event (mini concert) and just messaged me again last week asking why I dont think it's a good idea.......

At first I was really worried and scared because I hate the idea of repeating the same mistake twice...... but the thing is that he's a really nice guy...... and I was just a completely different person when I met him..... he was different too... and the reality is that we have both changed in some good ways........

Don't laugh at me but I think he may be the one

I have not been this excited about going on a date in a VERY long time......

Ok you can laugh at me for the comment above......

but omg..... I have been really really excited for the past 4 days.......

on Sunday I told him that we can meet on Thursday...... at first I was indifferent but then got really excited lol

ok you can go ahead and call me crazy.......

I am going to write another post to give myself some advice just in case........