Yes you can!

So I msged him today in the afternoon on my break saying "hey, how's ur day going so far" and the only reason I did that as becaz i wanted to make sure that he doesnt think that I'm mad at him or anything for telling me that he can't come out with me last night (gym + swimming)


He'd replied to my msg about an hour after saying "good thanks. How's ur day been"

so i msged him after work saying "boring, glad that i'm off"

and he didnt reply.......... so as i was going to west van on the bus i was thinking of creating an invitation for my bd next week on FB and ask him to ocme........ i also thought about sending him a msg asking him if he wants to come to next weeks concert with me

So i went to park royal, bought a dress and a sweater for myself..... and as i was waiting for my mom to come i called my sis to ask for opinion of where to have my bd + told her i wanna invite him........

she said next week is too late......call him now and see if he can meet up with u.......i was like no way....then she insisted and i said omg ok fine........and i called.........he was sleep......... but he answered the phone.........SO cUTE........ and then i said i was wondering if u can come to west van since im here......and he said yea sure ok ...... i'll be there in half an hour....... :D :D

so i went to starbux w him......... talked for an hour .....then he gave me a ride to skytrain.........from there i came home myself...... oh he had to pick his mom up at 9 so maybe thats why he didnt wanna give me a ride home...........

i came across as an innocent girl who isnt much fun..... lol...... but we'll see.......not sure if he likes me.......but i had fun.........and am soooooooooo glad i did this.......... instead of keep thinking of when he's gonna ask me out i did it myself! :D :D yayyyyyyyy............ he's going to whistler on the weekend and then las vegas next week....... i'm gonna miss him maybe...... but i wont say so caz we're nothing yet.......

ahhhhh ........ <3 .........feels good............for now!

All these feelings............

OMG it's soooooooooooo overwhelming

I was like a dead walking person............ he hadnt msged me back after I sent him a msg at around 10 asking him how his grandma is........ hed called me at 4 45 p.m. before i was off from work......even though he knows i always get off after 5...... anyways......i was really concerned about his grandma so i called him on my way to P's house at 6 30 ......... and he's like o i wanted to see if u wanna go out after work....and i said no im near my house......hows ur grandma etc........

i went to p's house and she said i should msg him and see if he wants to see me tonight......... so i did.......he msged me back saying hes going to the gym then swimming.........

in the morning i felt like a dead person...but now that i know there's a possibility of me going out with him im a bit happy...........but at the same time i have all these feelings rushing in my body....... like the feeling of love........ i really do like him ............ ah........

bedooneh to sangam.........kenaareh to abrammmmmm.........biaa ta geryeh konam saroomadeh sabrammmmmmmm ...........

vaaaaaaaaaay........... yani misheh? key mibinameshhhhhhhhhhhhh????????? delam baraash tang shodeeeeeeeeeeeeee.......... aaaaaaaaaaaaa ...........

felan ke nemishnasamesh........... vali khob eshkal dare ba inke nemishnasamesh azash khosham miad?

that's my problem..........im trying to avoid having all these feelings caz i don even know him...........but it's not really working

Ey vaay delam, delam, delam........

NICE weekend!

I was off for 4 days and got sick on Friday and am still sick :)
At least I'm well enough to go to work tomorrow.....

Yesterday I started drinking hot water after having breakfast and it did make me feel a bit better........ I still had runny nose...... and was thinking to myself I probably can't go out with the "new guy" so there's no point of calling him......and for some reason I really didnt think that he'd call me.......so as I was watching movies on Channel 19, one after the other.......I fell sleep at around 1 and woke up at around 1:30...... went to my room for a second to check my cell and I had a missed call! a missed call from him......... :D I was happy......but didnt wanna return his call caz I thought he's probably gonna ask me if I can go out w him and I'd have to say no ......and he's probably tired of me telling him that I can't go out with him.....so it's better not to call him at all..........and as I was thinking about my decision for the next hour A called me to ask me if I wanna go to the movies with P and H ...... as I was talking on the phone with him he called again!!! so I obviously picked up .......he just wanted to see how I was doing...... and I asked him if he's working tomorrow......... (he said he'd be working from 10-2) ...and then I said we can meet up tomorrow but I'll call u either tonight or tomorrow to set up a time and a place..........

so I called A back and told him that I'm feeling a lot better :D .....then went to the movies and dinner with them..... :) all the way..... and told them that I'm going on a date today........ and they gave me some advice etc.......

I msged him last night to ask him when and where he wants to meet today........... went to bed at 10 ....... he called around 10 45 .........didnt pick up caz I was sleep........

Today I went to my sis place with M&M ....... I got up at 8 ........took a shower.......decided what I wanna wear......... went to sis around 12 with them ...... called him......said "customer not in service" ....called again ..got same message.......... called him an hour after........it rang....... then "customer..." ..........so msged him and asked him to call me..........

When he called me I asked him where/when he wants to meet.........he said 6-7ish in downtown..... i said ok.......... hung up.......... all happy......called P to tell her.......she's like how come hes not picking u up......... then i was like hmm yea why isnt he picking me up......... but I was still like ok whatever..... i dont mind going there by bus..........

so got ready.......make up........ with help of M ........ got out of the house at 4:40 ......... took the bus to the station.........from station to downtown....... at 5:05 he msged me saying my grandma is in the hospital so I can't meet up with u tonight....... maybe I'll come see u tonight!!!

I got off the bus.......... gmsged him saying I hope his grandma feels better.......got on the bus that took me home...... he msged me about an hour later saying thanks..........

and that's it....... so all the excitement is gone...... i'm kinda sad that his grandma is in the hospital....... but talk about FATE (ghesmat)!!! I haven't gone on a date in ages and when I decide to go this happens......... soooo Weird......

So it was another normal day...... donnow what's gonna happen next.......but at this point i'm thinking maybe he's not interested and he used that as an excuse?

I'm thinking of going to sleep pretty soon.......

GOOD NIGHT

Lost in the moment vs. Lost the moment.....

For me it's the second one........

The more I think about it the more I think that this won't happen...... he's nice and everything..... I like him and everything....... but he lives too far away from where I live (the same city but 2 hours by bus!) ......... and the first "date" is always the hardest part.......it's been almost a week......and we still haven't had the time to meet each other.........and now I'm sick........ it seems like its never gonna happen....... and I dont think he likes me enough to wait for me to get better...... so thank you....... I had fun........ it was great........the phone calls......the text messages.........the excitement .......everything was really good........ I have no idea what's gonna happen next....... but believe it or not I've grown up enough to be able to let go of someone that I had a crush on!

I hate uncertaintly!

Inam vaghte sarma khordan booooooooooooooood?

Cheh ghashangeh aasehghi......vaay cheh ghashangeh aasheghi!

LOL

Ok I thought I should keep you (and myself) posted about whats going on caz these days will pass and it will be nice to look at what exactly happened, in the future.

1) Monday: He called me when I was on the bus going home......... small talk.........2-3 min..........said we should meet up tomorrow or the day after....... i said ok.... hung up......... it was Yalda Night......... spent a few hours with my family......... a few hours w friends until 1 ....... considering that I had only 9-10 hours of sleep in the past 48 hours I went to bed feeling very tired.........

2) Tuesday: Got the book........after reading it decided to not meet up with him on Wednesday caz it says in there "don't give up ur plans to be with him" .... and my plan was to go to "laser tag" with friends.......... so I msged him on my way home asking him if he'd like to meet up on thursday night........and he said he's free if he doesnt have any other plans w his family......and he'll let me know after asking his mom......... since I was tired I went to sleep at around 9 30 last night ...... woke up at 1 saw a msg saying we should meet up on wednesday night.........

3) Today: Since it was too late last night i msged him in the morning at 9 saying that i have other plans for the night and i will try to give him a call later......... so i called at 2 he was at work and told me hell call me later.......... i said call me after 5 15 ....... he called at around 7 when i was near the laser tag place.......we had taken the bus from UBC bus loop with the other people........ so when he called he sounded very KHOSHK ........ said he had just woken up...... and then i said what he's doing on the weekend....... said might be free on sunday and monday...... and i said ahan ok....... and he said ok badan gharar mizarim khdoafez.......... he sounded very khoshk .......and i was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo upset......... i thought he probably doesnt like me anymore (since he hadnt replied to my msg in the morning, and hadnt called at 5 15 when i was off) ..... so i thought its probably over....... called my sis and P to tell them........ P said that im so stupid for not hanging out with him tonight instead of going to the place........ i said "but the book said that i shouldnt change my plans for him" ...... she said yea...but not at the beginning........ so i was thinking "damn it ....... i shouldve gone out with him...... maybe i should message him and tell him that i would really like to see him on the weekend" ........ and then decided not to caz i was trying to convince myself that its ok that he doesnt like him....

AND THEN ........ I GOT ON the bus.......and as i was thinking about how sad i am and how i should forget about the whole thing HE CALLED!!!! I couldnt believe my eyes.......... i was soooooooooooooooooooooo happy..............

and the feeling is back........... it's sad when ur happiness and sadeness depends on someone else...... but at the same time its exciting ........ and it could turn out to be a great thing if everything works out :)

We'll see.............

:D :D :D :D

Good nighttttttttttttt

:)

People laugh everyday, they smile at every little joke they hear............ but the true warm/fuzzy feeling of happiness is something that's rarely created, and I was lucky enough to have one of those experiences today

A lovely girl, whom I haven't known for that long, came to where I work and gave me a book that talks about relationships.......... I had told her (and some other people) about how I've met this guy that I kinda like but not sure if I should go out with him caz he's cool but not really my type......... and she thought I should read this book before making any decisions......... isn't that the sweetest thing ever? I couldn't believe it!

It's something that I will remember forever, and memories that are worth enough to keep are hardly found in the life that I live these days so I'm greatful :)

Sharing my excitement with you!!!

That's a nice change isn't it.........

I went to parties 3 nights in a row

1) Christmas party
2) A friend's party
3) Christmas/shabeh yalda party

anddddddddd........guess what? I met someone tonight!!!

After rejecting to dance with a few other guys I decided to give this one a try and see how things go......... he was taller than me even though I had my high heel shoes on! isnt that amazing? andddd he's 25 (so he says...he looks younger / has a baby face) ......... andddddddddd he goes to my uni studying the same program!! ok ..... even though i like him i dont wanna get my hopes too high........ he's like really handsome.......... like a model ........ so verrry good looking ...... and we danced for about half an hour and then had to come home......... i gave him my number and he messaged me ... :D :D ....... i was thinking he might not caz i guess his friend didn't like me.......and i was surprised when i got a message from him....... wow.......... i donnow what will happen tomorrow? hmmmmmm......... OMG :D :D so exciting

The weather at home is cold/ cloudy / raining...... no major storm yet.........

But still :D :D ....... he's the type of guy that would always make me thing "why did he choose me?" ........... there were a lot of good looking girls around and i dont think they wouldve rejected him if he asked them to dance.......so why me? ........ hmmmmmm

:D :D goodnight!!!!!

Az aan zamaan keh aarezou cho naghshi az saraab shod
Tamaameh jostojooyeh del soaaleh bi javaab shod
Narafteh raaheh teshneei beh jostojooyeh cheshmeh haa
Khotooteh khatteh zendegi cho naghshe e bar aab shod

Cheh sineh sooz aah haa ke khofteh bar labaaneh maa
Hezaar goftani be lab asireh picho taab shod
Na shooreh aarefaaneh e na zogheh shaaeraaneh e
Gharaareh aasheghaaneh am shetaab dar shetaab shod

Na forsateh shekaayati na ghesse o ravaayati
Tamaameh jelveh haayeh jaan cho aarezou bar aab shod
Negaaheh montazer be dar neshasto sobh shod be sar
Nayaamadeh be khod degar ke doreyeh shabaab shod

Cheghad in ahangeh ghashangieh :)

Inghad toro doos daram keh hichkasi hichkasio injoori doos nadaaaaaaaasht

Simply frustrated!

That's what I am.......... I think.........

Hmmmm.......... life is just simply as boring as it can get....... there are ( as always) no special things that make me happy

But I mean I can't really complain can I? I'm just living life......... everyday...... and that's all that matters.......

I'm really confused as to what I should do right now........ I'm soooooooooo bored with my job that it's starting to drive me crazy ....... but at the same time it's not like I can quit or anything....... because I don't know what it is that I want to do........... so I spend the whole day thinking about it.........sometimes I get excited about applying to grad school.........sometimes I get excited about getting another job that will pay me a bit better........... but they're just thoughts...... and by the end of the day I'm just as exhausted as I was the day before........

I think I've become a bit depressed.......... I haven't really gone out with my friends in about 2-3 weeks......... and am using food/shopping as a way to fight against it .... I think........ and it does help a little tiny bit........ having donuts in the morning and pizza for lunch..... even if it's everyday........ it's still good........ the only other thing that's missing from the menue is a big bowl of ice cream............and maybe some alcohol..... :D

Anyways........... can't really say that I'm sad.......... I'm more feeling less than sad...... and a bit sad....... but trying to ignore it.......so just indifferent most of the time......... or a better way to explain it would be exactly what the name of my blog is!

Anyways......gotta go.........ciao

:(

Taa hamin alaan haalam khoob booda...........vali dobaareh yeki az video haaye iran ro didam..........ye dokhtare ye she'ri khoonde bood........ didam man cheghad dar moghayese ba oon hicham......... doos daram bara khodam kasi baasham

I WANT TO BE MORE
I NEED TO BE MORE

Jealousy will kill me someday!

hmmm

Let's put a picture of him on the wall and make things happen!

LOL ...... so this is a random stranger that I saw from far away on the streets .... the important thing about this stranger was that he was good looking...... so I'm thinking if I put a picture of him on the wall and assume that I'll run to him/ people like him everyday maybe it will motivate me more to dress up properly with proper make up and everything just so I can impress these kind of people

Anyways ........ on the other note......... I did make a baby hope....... and I watched him grow! The sad part is that he's getting old......... and there's still no news from them....... I really hope I hear from them soon before he ......... no that wont happen...... he's just old and wise for now :) .......and he's an engineer :D

Other than that........ there are some good things happening in life.... and some not so good things.......... and i dont feel like talking about either of them right now.......

KHODAYA KOMAKAM KON

VA MANO BEBAKHSH BE KHATERE VELKHARJI E KE KARDAM ( I do really feel guilty about over spending this past week.......I hope I can somehow make it up)

Kill me.............Kill me now!!!

Ooo ..........the crazy girl is finally attempting suicide?

Well........good news is that I'm not! Are you crazy? :D

I'm just really frustrated and I had to get it out of my system!!! I had a JI today.......... and it I think didn't go well......... but I really dont want to think negatively about it............ I'm try to create a baby hope and raise it......... who knows .........maybe it will work.........

WARNING........ THIS CONTENT IS GRAPHIC...........DON'T READ IF UR NOT A BIG FAN OF READING NEGATIVE THOGHTS (Like me)

On another note........... the feeling is something like a big truck....... with the wheels so close to each other so it can be ran over the neck and the waist.........you know the rest.........

:D

HELP ME BABY HOPE... GROW FASTER ........ MUAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH :* :*