Failed.........

I didn't pass my road test.......... but to be honest with you I'm not sad or mad or anything......... I'm just glad that it's over.............

I don't know if I've told you about how I feel about black people......... but there's something about them that always ALWAYS makes me nervous......... something that makes me not want to be around them..........and guess what.......... my "examiner" was black! How cool is that?

The mistakes I made:

1) Turning left when there wasn't a safe gap
2) trying to fit in between two parked cars and another one that was on the road going the opposite way (almost hitting the parked car which made the examiner say "woa woa woa what are you doing!!)
3) Pulling away from the curb/ turning on my signal when other cars were coming that were too close and me almost pulling out when a car was very close to me
4) Not speeding up again after a playground ?

Ok she had a legid reason to fail me I admit....... but ....... anyways......... I'm not mad .......

By the way it did rain..........which wasn't as bad as I thought it would be..........

Oh and in the end .......parking the car ........wasn't too easy either

So the next plan is to??? We'll see......... :)

Officially losing my mind!!!!

In less than 5 hours I'll be done with "the test" .......... it's raining for the first time........... I'm still wishing for the rain to stop because I never drove under rain but you know what? it's gonna be ok........... I am just going to do my best ........... f the rest :D ...... no I mean that's all we should do in life........... if it's raining today there is a reason for it........... we'll see what happens........... I'm sick too............ soar throat :( ........... but it's ok .......... everything is just wonderful.......... can't wait for these 5 hours to be done!

What if I don't want to mate?

As you all probably know by now (because I have said it a million times) I'm one of those people that wants to continue this journey alone.........

So you may ask why.......... and believe me I do have an answer for you it's just a bit hard to explain so maybe I will put them all in point forms as they come to mind and u can put them together (or I will put it together on another day)

1) The thought of ever being rejected ... I know it will destroy me so why even start?

2) What if I find someone better ...... or worse (is it?) ......... what if he finds someone better?

3) The possibility of getting embarressed at one point or another for things that I don't know/ have forgotten / can't do..........

So these are the main reasons why I like to stay single, help others that are in need without getting myself too involved in anything........... and leave them before they start having high expectations

I'm very satisfied with that explanation

Having said all that can I ask ME why I've started becoming interested in every single PHD student alive? Maybe not ALL of them but a good 4-5 of them......... I guess I should read the 3 points above everytime I think of a relationship........

Forgive me for saying this......... I know I'm not supposed to bring up his name......... but I was thinking back then when I talked to JV I remember the thing that I liked about the whole thing was the fact that he ( the coolest guy on earth in my opinion back then) wanted to talk to me ..... he liked calling me.......... he never said anything negative about me.......... not even once...........

anyways.......... good night!

Como todo del mundo me siento mal tambien......

Ok .......... happiness is gone.......... not sure what to do?



I dropped the class........what to do now? Should I write the GRE? Apply for a job? Forget about grad school or at least apply?

Dont know.......... tomorrow's possibly my last day at work........

The big day is Tuesday .......... not sure how that's gonna go........ I feel nervous.......... I think

And AH is coming on Wed night!!!

I will know a lot more by the end of next week.........for now I have to be patient and do the best I can

Man migam delam shekastas........... to migi khoob misheh khastas...........HAVE FAITH

The topic has nothing to do with what i had in mind............ just wanted to add a bit of spice and make it romanticoolo to make this post more interesting than the others?

SO I finally regirstered for this course that I like......... ok call me crazy ....... I know I've already graduated ......... but I felt like doing it.......and guess what? I did it! it's only for 3 months..........

The other thing is that I was kinda offered a full time job at where I work now......... they actually offered the job to 3 people and I'm not sure if they will say yes or not......... but I might get this full time job soon........ YAY (even though it's not related to what I studied the important thing is making money........ )

And the last news is that I've recently been thinking of applying to work for the bank of canada! That's right...........they're hiring............and I shall apply......... just to give it a try! Why not?

Life is GOOD ..........

THANK YOU GOD :*

The one's qualities?

tall and built / khosh akhlagh / in love with me / good voice / mature and hadafdaar

Sometimes you can get so far from the norm and the typical life that everyone else is living that you feel like you are lost........... that's how I feel........ I don't think I'm like anyone else.......... but I don't mind the life that I'm living...........I just wish that others would stop bugging me about it!!!! So what that I'm 23.75 with no experience of love/ relationship? I truely think that it's too late for me......... maybe in the next life I will try to be more normal........ but for now I'm so far from that line that I have chosen to take another path rather than trying to go somewhere I've never been to............

Life is good..............

Good news is that everybody around me is happy! Nothing else I could ask for.........

Thank you!

3 saal gozasht

Do chiz hast ke mano be yaadeh oon mindaazeh.......... yeki filmeh before the sunrise/after the sunset.......... oon yeki will smith............

I was watching the movie "Seven Pounds" ........ I recommend it to all of you out there........ the main actor is Will Smith..........He's really great in this movie..........and the funny thing is that he reminded me of him.......... and what he did was almost the same as him........ make her fall in love and then leave...........

Whatever.......

The movie got me thinking......... about a lot of things...........

I was reading the persian newspaper today......... it had an article about a 16 year old boy who had got raped in the prisons of Iran for supporting Mousavi......... the article made me angry....... made me angry at the government ......... and sad that I can't do anything for them...........

Before that I was watching World Vision on TV and thinking that I should start paying for a kid ....... it's less than 40 dollar per month............after reading the article I realized that there's notihng comparable to getting raped at young age........ ok the people in Africa and many other places in the world die from mal neutrition............ there's hope for them.......... but who can help those that are getting raped for standing by their beliefs.......... ok I can say that what they did was stupid and they should've stayed at home and supported the government ......... but the punishment for what they did was not what happened to them in the prisons .......... I still can't believe what I read.......... it's just too much.......... there's hope for hungry kids but not for that 16 year old boy and many others who are getting tortured in the country that I once lived in .........

How to make this world a better place? That's the question!

p.s. the "man digeh montazereh hichkasi nistam ke biaad" has actually worked .......... :) all I care about now is life ........... and my life doesn't need someone else to get complete!

Roozeh avval keh deleh man beh tamannaayeh to par zad.......

Chon kabootar sareh baameh to neshastam......
To be man sang zadi man na ramidam na gosastam.......
Baaz goftam ke: To sayyadio man ahooye dashtam
Taa be daameh to daroftam hameh jaa gashtamo gashtam
Hazar az eshgh nadaanam
Safar az pisheh to hargez natavaanam.......natavaanam

Raft az zolmateh shab oon shabo shab haaye degar ham
Nagerefti degar az asheghe azorde khabar ham
Nakoni digar az aan koocheh gozar ham
Bi to ammaa be che haali man az aan koocheh gozashtam.........

Hapyy time :D :D

Hellooooo

How y'all doin?

Long time no talk! I woke up this morning happy ...... like this >> :D

it's the long weekend here.......... I have another day off! YAY

In terms of thoughts about love: it's good to be single............I still haven't found the one.... days are just coming and going one after the other.......... and I still don't see myself with anyone any time soon......... as I've always said.......... in my thoughts I'm always single in the future.........

I have a comment to make about M............ the guy that I was talking to in Feb/ March ........ who suddenly came online one day and said he's fallen in love with someone that he met in a party......... I'm still mad about that........ we could have been a good match........ he was/ is such a nice guy ........ he tried to talk to me after pretending like nothing ever happened........... I guess the girl didnt like him as much as he liked her......... but of course i didn't wanna talk to him ...... anyways it was my own fault because he wanted to call me so many times and I always said no ......... (ok I know this is getting boring but I just needed to get this out of my system) (conculios/ lessons learned: NADA)

about my new stanford guy........ I haven't talked to him in 2-3 days.......... and I don't think I would wanna talk to him anytime soon......... even though I like him........ he's not here...........therefore there's no point .......... I admit I do like talking to him whenever he's online / do miss him if he doesnt come online the next day........but I haven't talked to him in 2-3 days now....... and I think I'm forgetting that he exists already!

about AH ........ he's gonna be here on Oct. 1st ............ I'm not excited............ but I will go see him........ even though I have no feelings for him anymore........... I'm not sure how they all went away........... we used to talk (chat) everyday............ I used to really like him........ but now.......... maybe I like him 18% ........ lol :)

In terms of thoughts about life: NADA............ just trying to get by one day at a time.........
ohhh...... almost forgot............. there was this guy who came to where I work a few days ago......... he was persian..............verrry good looking.......... and studying for his masters :X :X lol but what's the point of :X :X when nothing can happen?

That's why: bogzarido begzarid........bebinido del nabandid........cheshm biandaazido del nabaazid....... ke dir...... ya zood......... baayad gozashto raft!