chan rooze negaahe sardet digeh baavaram nadaareh
chand roozeh dastaayeh sardet dastaamo tanhaa mizaareh
chan roozeh do taa cheshmaam roozo shab vasat mibaareh
aasheghet shabaa be yaadet cheshmaasho roo ham mizaareh
ageh ghalbeh to siaaheh vaaseh man roshano noori
ageh sardeh deleh sanget vaaseh man sangeh saboori

emrooz sarmaa khordam......az dirooz haalam bad bood......yani dirooz bi hoseleh boodam........khodam ro baa ketaab khoondan mashghool kardam........ dirooz afsordeh naboodam........ bi khiaal boodam......

vali......hamishe goftam......man taheh fekramo tahe ghalbamo nemitoonam control konam.......roohieyeh kharaabam haalamo kharaab kard.......emrooz sob ke bidaar shodam fahmidam galoom misoozeh o sarmaa khordam.......

yaadameh dafeh ghabl ke sarmaa khordeh boodam....... oon moghe...... ashegh boodam? lol...... nemidoonam........ ba inke sarma khorde boodamo havaa baarooni bood ba che khoshhaali e shab sareh kaar raftam.......va che por energy boodam....... cheghadr hameh chi ghashang bood....... fardaash haalam khoob shod.... dafeh bad ke oon mariz shod behesh goftam avval chand livaan aabeh joosh bokhor......ba'd be yeh nafar fekr kon ke kheyli doosesh daari.......man dafe ghabl ke sarmaa khorde boodam intori haalam khoob shod.....oon behem goft....ee baashe pas too aayneh be khodam negaah mikonam..... oon moghe fekr kardam shookhi mikoneh......... aakhe khodesh ghablan behem gofteh bood.... al'aan midoonam ke dooroogh gofteh bood....

beh har haal man alaan sarmaa khordam......... afsordeh nistam..... faghat daaghoonam! yani jeddi ..... nemidoonam chetori haaleh khodamo tosif konam......... dooste doros hesabi ke nadaaram..... dar hafte ghablam ke goftam chi shod...... oon az oon ke be khaatereh doostesh baa man oontori harf zad.......oonam az dooste khodam ke .....

yeh dafe ke daashtam baahaash harf mizadam pishe baraadaram boodam .....porsid ba ki dari harf mizadi....... dorost hads zad.....avval esmeh doostamo bord ... ba'd oon.........oon midoonest ke too zendegim faghat baa do nafar harf mizanam.......... vali baa in haal.......

begzarim....... manam ke aslan alaan behesh fekr nemikonam..... kheyli ehsaase jaalebieh.......ghablan har rooz behesh fekr mikardam.... az in ahangaayeh eshghoolaaneh ke goosh mikardam...... yaade oon mioftaadam...... migoftam shaayad ye roozi be ham beresim.....vali.......

ghablan ke behetoon gofte boodam man divooneh am....... vali alaan khoshhaalam ... hichvaght doost nadaashtam aadameh dependenti baasham....... va nistam........ inaa raftan .... vali man beh fekre ayandam......midoonid ke man cheghad az moraddad boodan badam miaad..... kheyli badam miad vaghti nemidoonam dar aayandeh gharare chi beshe? az vaghti ke behem oon harfo zad ye joorayi khoshhal shodam.... chon digeh az aayande motmaen shodam..... :D ..... daghighan baraayeh hamin afsordeh nistam......

hatman baa khodetoon daarid fekr mikonid ke man che mojoodeh ajib gharibi hastam?!!! khodamam midoonam.........

khodaayaa shokret.... kheyli dooset daaram (L)

lemme tell u what happened yesterday!

ehemmm... so on tuesday (boxing day) i talked to my "Friend" and she's like...o well we can hang out tomorrow....... bluh bluh bluh........

last friday i think........i told her that i wanna go to the party that was on sunday night if she diecides to go......and she was like yea sure..... bluh bluh bluh............

wednesday ......when she was supposed to hang out with me...she calls me ........ and she's like... u can come over if u want!! (so much for hanging out) so i'm like no thankssss..i'd rather stay at home........

i was mad at her.......but i'm like...u know what i don wanna stay angry for long so lets go out with her tomorrow ......otherwise hoseleh ghahro mahr nadaaram........

so i call her and tell her "let's go out with my bro and his friend tomorrow".......so she says fine..bluh bluh bluh.....

yesterday.....we pick her up.......and she starts telling me about how she's hooked up her sis with the guy that she'd suggested to me 4 days ago!!! well i wasn't interested in the guy (but i didn't mind him either) ..... anywayz........ i don care about that........she tells me about SUNDAY NIGHT....... and how they'd gone to that party!!!!! that i wanted to go to!! without me!!!!

i was angry at her.....and still am....... i don wanna talk to her .......

and after...... how long was it? 5 monthes....probably more..... of thinking about him everyday....honesly I did think about him everyday....... today was the day that all my dreams turned into dust........like real dust.... thank you god for answering my questions......all this time......I'd been wondering if he feels the same about me....... I donnow.... it seemed like he likes me a lot....... well that's what he told me! and this is what he tells me today..........it's really hilarious........

17 (27/12/2006 9:14:26 PM): ehemmmm.... in doostet chi migeh "vahid khosh salighe tarin aadameh donyaasto bayad mardom pishesh beran salighe yaad begiran" o inaa? aslan ba in harfaash haal nakardam...... kholaaseh u know what to do....... get rid of him! or tell him roo harfe man harf nazaneh

Arash (27/12/2006 10:53:22 PM): hasoodit mishe yeki harfe delesho mizane?

17 (27/12/2006 10:53:35 PM):
17 (27/12/2006 10:56:20 PM): NEMIDoonam valla...... he's ur friend.....man ke azash khosh nadaaram..... behesham begoo ba oon dokhtare harf nazaneh.......aslan pesare bi adabieh........az ghadimam goftan javaabeh ablahaan khaamooshist...so i have nothing to say to him...... to khodet mitooni nasihatesh koni age mikhay.... nemikhaayam ke hichi...be man che! faghat behesh begoo too kaare man dekhaalat nakoneh hamin .... behesh begoo mind ur own business
Arash (27/12/2006 10:56:20 PM): one thin
Arash (27/12/2006 10:57:24 PM): 1. be to hich harfi nazade so chizaye digash be to hich rabti nadare
Arash (27/12/2006 10:58:00 PM): 2. as u can see from his album, me n him r very close. I never wanna hear any1 sayin anythin about him
Arash (27/12/2006 10:58:22 PM): 3. i fu wanna keep sendin random msgs, u better know wuts comin out or ur mouth
Arash (27/12/2006 10:58:48 PM): da lowest lvl of firends for me is a buddy
Arash (27/12/2006 10:58:57 PM): if u don wanna be even that, don even msg
Arash (27/12/2006 10:59:18 PM): or if its a different case, harfe dahaneto befahm
17 (27/12/2006 11:00:10 PM): to avval boro yaad begir baa dokhtaraa chetori sohbat koni bad biaa baa man harf bezan! ur just a really mean person .......man aslan nemitoonam ba adamaayi mesleh to kenaar biaam......harvaght toonesti nice tar bashi mitooni behem msg bezani
17 (27/12/2006 11:00:54 PM): haazeri be khaatereh inkeh az DOOSTET tarafdaari koni in harfaaro be man bezani? that's just not right
Arash (27/12/2006 11:01:37 PM): FYI, it was u who msged. I am who I am n i'm sorry but ur not special enough for me to change anythin about maslef. if u can't put up wit it, oh well, i didn lose anythinArash Palang (27/12/2006 11:01:43 PM): yes i will
Arash (27/12/2006 11:02:02 PM): ta to bedooni ke che harfayee ro bayad bezani va che harfayee ro bayad ghoort bedi
17 (27/12/2006 11:03:09 PM): wow......emshab javaabeh tamaameh soaalaayi ke too fekram moondeh boodo gereftam..... to oontori ke man fekr mikardam nisti...... nemidoonam man chera ye joor digeh fekr mikardam.....taghsireh khodete ke enghadr do rooi.....
Arash (27/12/2006 11:04:46 PM): barat khoshhalam ke solat bi javab namoondan
Arash (27/12/2006 11:04:48 PM): bye
17 (27/12/2006 11:05:01 PM): vaaghean fuck u! BYE

and now that I think about it.......... I wish I hadn't remembered.....but it could be because he thinks that I don't care about him at all...because a few days ago he told me that I'm his "buddy" and I said no I'm not.......that was just because I...... I mean u can't call someone a buddy when u think about them every day ......can you? .......

I donnow why I always blame myself for everything that goes wrong......why shouldn't he think that he might have been wrong ? why should I be sad because he didn't understand me? why?

and just because of this ....... i can't put a closure on the love that I have for him....... because I'd be always thinking....."maybe if he knew how I really feel about him he would'nt have hurt me" ........

but I will try.... I will try to make this the end of "it" ........ because I'm tired of loving someone who's so far away.......... maybe some day I'll write a story about it.....

he never wanted to believe how lonely I am.......and he never wanted to believe just HOW MUCH I cared about him........ he asked me to tell him I love him and I couldn't ..........still can't.......... in my heart......... I BELIEVE that I love him.......... but can't say it out loud......

14 days before my birthday....happy birthday to me.......

Going on a diet.......

A real diet? well ... maybe I should since I've gained about 8 pounds in the last two monthes (the opposite of last year....... at this time I'd lost about 10 pounds..... I was 110......now I'm about 125 )

anywayz........ what I meant from DIET was staying away from some things that are not good for my health...... emotionally?

this is what happens to you when you think long and hard trying to find someone in the world who loves you and supports you and the number you get is 0!

so I'm willing to make a challenege......and I know that the rewards will be tremendous......I'm almost 100% sure about it but making myself believe it is another story!

so lets just think of this as a game......

you're probably asking yourself "hmm...what's the catch?"

just gimme a second and I shall convince you that what I'm offering is worth a try......... in the end you'll have nothing to lose but everything to gain.......if you do exactly what I ask you to do ......and NOT let yourself get distracted by the enviornment.........you'll see the SUN .... that's a promise.........

mean while you have to do the following........

It's ok if u do other things that are not on the list....... but that'd be unlikely since you almost plan everything that you do and don't allow yourself to be surprised!

as I've recently become aware ..... I can control my head .....but not my heart...... no matter how hard I try...... since these are all to do with the mind not the heart I think we'll be ok......

1) praying
2) work experience
3) proper studying
4) work out
5) news paper

good luck making up a schedule!

(L)

There's only 15 days left before I turn 21 ....and I thought I should think about something before I get too old to forget :D

In the past 20 x 365 + 349 days of my life there have been 4 1/2 guys in my life that I've almost loved or had a crush on .......well maybe I should say 5.25

1) H ??? (i donnow his last name?) (.25)
2) I T (1)
3) K R (1)
4) S T (.75)
5) J F (.25)
6) A H (1)
7) V J (1)

and u know what? from each and every one of them I learned something..... so I think I could / should appreciate the painful experience...


oh ... and something that might be funny = 3/7 are scorps! the other ones = ordibehesht / mordad / azar / esfand

never though a day would come when I say that no love exists!

it exists.....in the world.......I'm sure........but for me.....there's no hope....

I don't believe enough in myself to let me love someone.........it's a lack of selfe confidence combined with the absence of the assurance to know if the one is really the one....... what if I choose the wrong one? what happens then? will I live my life to hate me for not having spent more time to find the real one? or will I put my mind at peace for having the courage to finally give in and do something as unreal as loving a stranger who might in the near future become the most familiar entity of my life?

I don't know the answer but I have a feeling that I'll always find something that is missing in me or him that will keep me from showing any emotions towards a deeper friendship........

I have proof now!

So see.........it's not too bad

it's ok to be in a car with a stranger at 12:00 midnight and not do anything .. just relax!

Even if they "Try" (Ehemmmmm) to do something u'll just nicely ask them to back off and they will!

I honestly can't imagine how one could ever refuse to do as I please!

hahaha........

that was fun.........

I don't know if I should consider it an experience or not?

There was no challenge........

man kheyli aadameh mozakhrafi hastam! I send out wrong signals... eee taghsire man nist!!!

ok... I'm gonna go now :D

BYE

Possession

waiting for something that's not mine to have?

ok...so what is the answer to this question? :

> r u single? <

can u call urself "single" even if ur heart is possessed by someone?

what if that person does not care about u? should u call urself single then and go out with someone who might be the "right one" for u? ........

what if u still don't know what that person who's in ur heart thinks about u ...or how he feels about u? .........should u call urself single then? or wait and see what happens?

hmmmm

why are u lookin at me like that?

that was just a question!!! calm down nothing is going onnnnnnn...jeeez

دیدی که رسوا شد دلم
غرق تمنا شد دلم
دیدی که من با این دل
بی آرزو عاشق شدم
با آن همه آزادگی
بر زلف او عاشق شدم

ای وای اگر صیاد من
غافل شود از یاد من
قدرم نداند

در پیش بی دردان چرا
فریاد بی حاصل کنم
گر شکوه ای دارم ز دل
با یار صاحبدل کنم

وای ز دردی که درمان ندارد
فتادم به راهی که پایان ندارد
گل شنیدم بوی او
مستانه رفتم سوی او
تا چون غبار کوی او
در کوی جان منزل کند

دیدی که در گرداب غم
از فتنه ی گردون رهی
افتادم و سرگشته چون
امواج دریا شد دلم

ما ريشه لحظه هاي بي بنياديم
ما خاك عبور نا كجا آباديم
ما فلسفه ي گذشتن از خويشتنيم
باديم و اسير هر چه بادا باديم

Hmmm...yumy chocolate!

Sorry... i was just eating a chocolate and it was really good.....and since i don really have a title for this post I'll let that be it............ but here's the real mesg that I'm trying to write here... I stole it from another weblog... hehehe

>

If you are not capable of being alone, your realationship is false.

Its just a trick to avoid yor loneliness,Nothing else

The joy of love is possible only if you have known the joy of being alone, because then only do you have something to share. Otherwise, two beggars meeting each other, clinging to each other, cannot be blissful. They will create misery for each other because each will be hoping, and hoping in vain, that "The other is going to fulfill me." The other is hoping the same. They cannot fulfill each other. They are both blind; they cannot help each other

<

true eh?

Fake!

Oh I'm soooo distracted right now........well..........I came home... slept......... woke up.......talked to my family............ chated ...........for some new people whom I absolutely hated! ......and now here I am.....and u know what I'm not going to do?

I'm not going to tell u how sad, mad, unhappy etc. I am..........

OoooooooooOOOps.........Ok ..........I'm gonna stop right here because if I continue my mood will go back to what it was this afternoon when I cam so close to going to the nearest bridge and........

ok... don't be scared......... it was just a thought............

anywayz.......... POSITIVE POSITIVE STAY POSITIVE

(i'm sure if anyone ever reads this, and for those of u who are reading this u probably think that I'm crazy or something.......... maybe I'm ......maybe I'm not! I honestly donnow that myself)

about the title of this post..........I'm talking about me....because I'm always :)............but at the end of the day I'm so :( that I wonder how the h*ll I could ever be :) before that! it just amazes me! ...........

people .......... I love people................ I love talking to people............ as long as we get along and everything goes well...........but as soon as something goes wrong......... I start wondering about my differences and why I can't be one of "them"

um................ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THOUGHTS

ok........ so in order to create a BRIGHT future I need to have a plan............

and this plan does involve people..... in fact it requires lots of people...........and I believe that people can change.......... I also believe that it's extremely hard to change but it's doable.......... I did it once.........twice..........or maybe three times........... I have changed significantly ........ from the day I was borne..........from last year......... wow........ u wouldn't believe how much I've changed.......... my own family sometimes doesn't recognize me........... I was an extremely confident person during my elementary school years in Iran.... like seriously.......... I had the courage to talk in front of 1000 of people......... act in front of them...... play the major role in a play........... only because I was the best of the best........... and I did believe in that...... I just need to be that person again.............

and I know that by sitting at home chatting (which I don't do much at all......... I swear........ after what happened with me and my long distance love life ( oh I'm finally strong enough to call it that!!!) I've given up) ......... so reality.......... I HAVE TO FOCUS AND KEEP MY FOCUS ON REALITY...........

reality is what's out there ......... in the streets............ the people.........the people that I am so different from........are part of the reality........and I have no choice but to somehow get myself involved ..........not because I need "work experience" to get into commerce ......... but because I need to save me from me and my very very VERY lonely world..... I know that I don't like people in general...... I usually think that theyr'e stupid ........... be gholeh khodam RIZ MIBINAMETOON..........but that doesn't mean that I can stay away from them..........

so I'm going to try............I'm going to have many many failures..........and I WILL ACCEPT THAT........... I WON'T GET DISCOURAGED BY MY FAILURES.......... I know that I'm different and it might take me a good year or more to come back to life..... right now I'm just so far away from it that ........... I can barely see it ....... so......... yea........... I'LL TRY MY BEST I WILL PROMISE............

so here's le plan grande!

je vais conentrate en ma vie, j'aim aprendre le francais et l'espagnol parce que j'aim etuier langues. Je dois practiquer le jour e le nuit et regarde la tele.

Es muy importante para mi a aprenderlos. No se como, pero voy a hacerlo.

Es muy dificil a aprender una idioma sin practicar. Debo que vivir en una ciudad donde toda la gente hablar espanol o francia.

Sobre "Le plan grande"

I will study One chapter of psychology each day, tonight, tomorrow, saturday, and sunday.

At the same time I will study French Saturday, Sunday. And monday French all day.

see ...... I'm leaving my life behind again......... but I feel good now because I've written so much stuff here that I feel like I've talked to someone....... :D ........... next time I feel bad I'll write some more..........

but for now........... I shall say goodbye to u my dear WEBLOG ...........

we shall be together for every and alwayz.........until death do us apart!

Beyneh maa ham kooho daryaa, faseleh oftaadeh amma, be to nazdiktaram emruz, ghalbe man mitape ba ghalbe to injaa :)

Zeshto zibaa
Talkho shirin
Garmo sarkhosh
Sardo Ghamgin

TO be har haalo havaayi ke baashi
Aashegham, taa hamishe aasheghe to
Basteh baa to nafaseh man
Ageh baasham yaa nabaasham laayegheh to

This is ma F*cking heart ur playin with bi*ch

I guess by now u've realized how much anger I've trapped inside of me........

Honestly.......if u see me......or for those of u who have seen me.....u'd know that I'm a pretty peaceful person..........

Sometimes I'm so quiet that I get tired of the silence that I create.........

I was just thinking......wondering about how i could prevent myself from falling for someone who might one day come along....... someone that I'd like!

u know......there are so many f*cking players out there that I bet I wouldn't be able to see the difference........ I don't like to judge people by the way they look........but most of the good looking ones are in fact people who are just out there to get u.......or as I call them .......... "the vampires"......

I kind of believed in my vampire.........I believed that he was just a lonely person who was tired of all the bi*ches around him and was ready to move on and start a relationship with someone who cares..... ( ew ... i don't like calling him "my v****" ........but anywayz).........

I donnow if I've told u about my feelings about this guy.......Oh i bet I have about a thousand times but tonight is a new night......and to re-assure myself I'm gonna repeat it once more....

I thank god everyday for not helping me get into a relationship with that guy........ I mean I was just a mouse running after the good smelling chedar cheese..but it was a trap.........

Not in a thousand years could I imagine a future with that guy.......and when u can't imagine something as important as a future with someone........ u can not start nothing with them ( yes that was a double negative sentence)

so ur probably wondering why the h**l I'm still talking about someone who wsa only part of my life for in total 4 hours..... about 5 monthes ago!

well.........first of all his birthday is coming up........... second of all, going out with him was the most exciting thing that EVER happened in my whole entire life...... third of all.......... umm... what the ......... I was gonna tell u about why I didn't want that guy.......

ehem....... I honestly can't put it into any words...... He was just not my type...

when I think about Mr. V now I can never regret having known him ( is this sentence gramatically right? ) ....... because he was a good guy.......and I liked him in so many ways....... the only thing he needs is a little maturity.........then he'll be perfect........ but w/e...... I wish him and his new girl a very happy life......

and as for myself........ did u know that I'm turning 21 in exactly 34 days? of course u did! because I've mentioned it many times in the last month........

I have my spanish test tomorrow.....and for some reason I'm very very very very very very very very very very very very very unmotivated and sad right now........

wondering why I was ever borne... and feeling like I don't fit into this world....and sh*t like that......

but I also know that tomorrow is a new day.......and I have no choice but to live it.....

I wonder if I'm ever gonna be happy .........

anywayz.... that's it for now....... i'm gonna try to go study for my examen de espanol .......

solamente estuide para 1-2 horas....... ya me voy..ciao

Go with the flow........

The best solution...........

What's the point of sitting down and thinking for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours.....

I'm not kidding........like I literally sit down...... or lie down on my bed........for many many hours to think about all the things that have gone wrong in my life and how the future is not looking so bright and how the present sucks !

But honestly..........if I van have the power to let GOD take care of everything my life would be so much simpler.......and more enjoyable...........cause at the end of the day I won't be sad about the many hours that I wasted thinking about ................... u know............

Kaar saazeh maa be fekre kaareh maast
Fekreh maa dar kaareh maa aazaareh maast..........

so that is the new PELAN.........

oh by the way I didn't quiet do as I'd promised....... u know the three rules of not logging into orkut/ yahoo/ msn..........

that was taking away too much energy ... so I only stopped for ........I believei it was 2 days.......

and that actually did help me a LOT..........

oh and I have some news for u...........

thanks to orkut I recently found out that someone is "commited"......... HAHA........ I mean I am happy for them....... honestly I don't care anymore.....and yes... i'm being real HONEST..... kheyli be ham miaan....... :)

I'm sad... poor guy........ I don't know how old he was exactly.....probably less than 25

he was a good kid....... died by using too much drug ( over dosed? i donnow how to spell that.....but today I learned what it means........ )

we worked together for 2-3 monthes..... he was tork........ very funny... a loud guy..... he smoked a lot of cigarrets...... maybe too much! ... but he was a good kid.......... he had a nice heart.........

had too much problems in his life........ I felt sorry for him.......... he still smiled.........and told us funny stories....... or stories that he thought were funny..........

kheyli bacheyeh khoobi bood..... I liked him............

khodaa biaamorzatesh :( va ishaallaa be khaanevaadash sabr bedeh

kheyli too fekr boodam
mesleh hamishe
yeho saramo baalaa kardam
oon oonjaa neshaste bood
mesleh inke montazer bood taa negaash konam
negaam kard
va khandid
mesleh hamishe
hamishe roo labaash labkhand bood
ya ageh nabood too cheshmaash khoshhaali ro mishod did
mesleh aadamaayeh aashegh
midoonestam yekio doos daareh
aakhe aadamaayi ke vaghean aasheghan hamishe khoshhalan
dobaareh akhmaam raft too ham
saramo andaakhtam paayin
baazam raftam too fekr

This is where I stand today.........

Ah..........I thought about him so much today that he's back AGAIN......

u know what it's hard to explain but I'm going to try to say how I feel......... he always made me say what's on my mind...even when I didn't want to....and I always tried.......but he was never satisfied in the end.......

no.........I'm not talking about my boyfriend.........I'm talking about a person who happened to be a guy ....who entered my life and became a huge part of it for no reason and then left.........

(after 2 mins)

see..........I'm still having problems saying how I felt about him.......

I can not decide if my feelings were true or not! I just can't know..........

How can u know if u like someone or not when u haven't even seen them in person?

Just the fact that he talked to me and made me think that I'm a likable person was more than enough for me to start to l........l........LIKE.....him.........or more than just like him.......

but now when I think about it he was never good at remembering the things that I told him......and he sometimes forgot the things/ stories that he had told me....... I still think that I was not important enough for him to remember the things that I told him.......

and I'm now more than sure that he's still not over his last GF......... I feel kind of bad for him because was happened to him was almost tragic and I wonder if he's ever going to love and trust someone again..........

he's now with someone ...... a girl who seems to be very experienced (in a good way. eg. she's gone to Africa to teach etc. ) and beautiful! (have I said these things here before? I'm sorry if I'm reapiting it......) .........anywayz..........they look good together....... and for some reason I'm jealous..... I just don't like her........he has another friend that I like and don't mind if he goes out with :D ...... there's just something unlikable about this girl.......maybe it's because of the fact that she's always :D ............

anywayz....... I am just not a good match for him I know that.........I was just interested in him because he seemed to care about me........

and god knows how desperate I am for that! to have someone who really TRUELY cares about me....... ( in the end I realized that he didn't ) .........

anywayz....... I'm not thinking of ever going to his city....... I had a dream about him a few nights ago ......we were both in a place......... something like the laundary room.......and I kept trying to hid behind him..........so if he moved left I moved with him ..... behinde him so he won't see me...... in the end I stepped on somethin ...or something fell that made him turn around....and he saw me....... and eventhough I wanted to give him the dirtiest look possible........I smiled at him...... and he did to.......and then walked away.........

so if ur askin about what I think about him.........I don't like him anymore........ he's become something that I'd like to run away from........ just like the first time.........

it's almost two in the morning now and I wanna go to sleep.........

ZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzz