😳

What am I turning into? I just saw a pic of s pretty girl w fat arms and I got happy thinking that nobody's perfect 😐

"Exam" time

Hoseleye hichkaso hishkio nadaaram!!! Hatta khodam!!!  Mostly khodam!!! I've never been the type to do/say things based on calculations... But yes i get the point, if you want different results you have to change your approach

Faghat delam mikhaad ke ghahr konamo naaz konam yeki naazamo bekesheh!!! Hamin!!!!

I don't feel like being nice to anyone.... Specially some specific ppl bcz they make me wonder about my sanity!!! One is PN... The other one DS... Yes I just said that!!!

Being in a long distance relationship absoloutely SUCKS

I dont even know if I know who he is anymore (jk, I just like him so much it's scary)


Ok... I'll tell you where the above frustration is coming from (see... I can get to the point... Just needed to give off somr steam first... Not sure if thats the actual expression lol)


Ok... So i called him today, which is pretty awkward I dont know why I dislike talking to him on the phone... Well i do know: i ended up saying bs like ooo theres 10 days left to see u after that im gone for 4 weeks then ill b back.... I HATE sounding like a desperado!!! Grrrrr no... Believe me... Im not one!!!

The truth is that...

Whenever I hear about what other ppls bf/husband has done i become so appreciative of having him in my life and I feel deep love for him... But I know that life is not about infinite amount of rainbow and sunshine... Although sometimes I think I have the power to make it that way! ❤️❤️❤️ Right now at this moment I love and miss him so much!!!

Too hava...

As I'm sitting here writing this, ive been given my 2 midterms.... I looked at it and they seemed long and impossible to do... But I'm calm... Thanks to the conversation that I made myself have with the prof... Not sure if I'll feel the same by next week or even end of the weekend... I will try to do my best.. That's all I know

The feeling I have is strange... Because I feel to care-free

Thank you!

This time I'm thanking myself! Yes, me! Just go back 5 years ago and read my blog.. Or not even that... Read the title of my blog! I have been SO lucky to work so hard to allow myself to love... That part us done!!! Now, what I'm working towards is allowing myself to feel loved... There's love everywhere ... You just have to believe it!

So thankful yo god as well for helping me along


❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm not sure about the next 10 days, starting this Thursday actually.... But I just wanted to share my amazing feeling with you

Thank you for reading :)

Az ghameh eshgh che mibayad kard?

You know the poem..

I feel much better than yesterday...

I still cant help but want this program to be over soon

I was so confused at the beginning... But now im much better... Im not thinking abt changing my job after i go back... At least ive decided not to think about it until I go back :)

In terms of him, how i feel is interesting.... I like him so much but somehow I think I'll b ok regardless...  I think...

The problem is that I still need to get to know him... Havnt started day dreaming about us in the long term... Just need to spend more time w him ❤️

Khoshaa eshgho khoshaa khooneh jegar khordan

I dont know y but IM not sure about "us" anymore... I still like him to the moon and back but I just dont feel like he feels the same

New phenomenon...

As I'm sitting here studying, I suddenly remember him... And I realize that I want him so bad... :-| remembering last sunday makes me laugh... I ended up sending a text message saying "is it too late to finish what we started"... Not sure who I am anymore!

Good news!!!

I dont know how long this feeling will last for but as of this moment ... Or as of 5 hours ago to be exact, ive been happy... I talked to my prof and he calmed me down... I'm 80 percent sure that I'll be ok... Last night I had a panic attack.... A mini one... Most of the times I can calm myself down... But this time I couldnt... I mean I could but then an hour after id go onto another panic mode.... I have nof resolved my issues yet... This morning in class I was thinking about what my next job should be...I have almost always wanted to be an advisor... I should look into that

I do....

I do speak my mind... It may be weird... Some find it weird...

All I know is that one thing is true

Life's better with you

Dar panaaheh to...

I've been meaning to write that since I came home today... That and Khodaayaa SHOKRET... Tanhaa toraa miparastam va tanha az to yaari mikhaaham

Trying to keep myself motivated... But life is not fun when you are constantly counting down the seconds to go home...

I have a strange feeling about my relationship... I've been watching Scandal where they talk about love and I simply dont get it... Have I killed love? I think I have replaced self love w the love for others... After all, I have to take care of myself...

So now we are on a break... Still trying to wrap my head around what that means... Trying not to over analyze things... The most important being 1) why did he not ask about how I was when I told him I was sick 2) why hasnt he asked me about how I like living here

These are important questions... Theres still a lot that I need to find out about him...
But all I know is that I want to be with him all the time

Whaaa?

It's a weird world... No wonder why I can't really settle... Too many thoughts in my head

I think my bf and I are ok now... Theres something off... Cant put my finger on it

But then

When I calm down and think that I've got it all under control to the best of my ability I get excited about seeing him/ being with him :)

Another fact

I don't deal well with uncertainty... I promise to do my best after this weekend! ❤️ Life is a journey not a destination :)

Im a girl

So its not in my nature to chase... Sorry

Truth is that...

I'm scared but I don't want to be... And that's a fact... Call it my pride... But at the same time, no body said it would be easy... And I am panicking for no reason... But I don't want to seemdesperate

Truth is that...

I'm scared but I don't want to be... And that's a fact... Call it my pride... But at the same time, no body said it would be easy... And I am panicking for no reason... But I don't want to seemdesperate

The last time I was w him i had a bladder infection, the week before that I had an eye infection... I just recovered from another eye infection... And i have . And a cold... Fml :)


I'm a creator... I will survive

Meh... Why not write more

So here is the thing

Life was great from July 2014 which is when I got my permanent job, until August 2015 I had the most amazing time of my entire life with him in July and August this year

Now I'm lost.... On the one hand I'm glad I'm not in Vancouver as things are crazy at work, on the other hand I'm not sure what I'm doing here... Not even sure about what to do after I go back! All I know is that it's time for a change

And I want so bad for him to be part of my future.... For now I feel in the air... Going there this weekend... Its that time of the month AND I have a cold

Sometimes theres so much that needs to be said but I still feel speechless

Only one thought comes to mind...

I dont wanna be a fool believing in something that's not there

I could be over analyzing things but this is how I feel now because this is what long distance does to u