Sooner or later, a day comes when you feel like

As an immigrant I guess it happens to all of us
There comes a day, when you get so confused about what you should think and how you should feel that sometimes it feels better to just stop and not think or feel at all.

It's hard to decide wether or not to adapt to the new culture. Will your people judge you? Is it even possible to have both cultures at the same time?

It's hard when you lose your identity and try to fit in. It's hard when you're away from the ones you love and try to push their memories to the back of your mind so it won't hurt so much to the point that they become forgotten and when they pass away you suddenly remember how much you loved them and how much they meant to you but......then you feel like you don't even know who you are anymore.

It's amazing how time flies........

It's true, life is very complicated.....

For some, more complicated than others, but it's very complicated for everyone .....

I wish my grandparents were alive to give me some advise.......

I kinda like this FF guy...... the guy that asked for my number last week..... and I didn't give it to him ...... I kinda regret it..... but at the same time I do believe that everything happens for a reason..... I gave him my FB account and he's not very active on FB AT ALL.... he's a sweet guy...... IDK ..... he never really messages me or anything...... I think he's lost interest....... story of my life!

It's sat night and I'm feeling kinda down....... I was in the library since 11 this morning trying to study until 6:30...... I did study...... but it wasnt very productive....... IDK

I don't know what I want anymore..... I guess getting good marks is my goal again...... I also want some new life experience...... I've been alive for about 1 year and 3 monthes..... so I have to give myself some time..........I'm slowly learning....... or at least trying........ :)

I like him........ does he like me? Or am I just saying I like him because I'm so alone? No, that's not the case..... I'm not one of thsoe people.......

4 saal entezaar baa poochi be payan resid

Bavaram nemishe akharesh nadidamesh
Bavaram nemishe enghad behesh nazdik shodamo akharesh injoori shod
Behtareh behesh fekr nakonam.... vaghean nemidoonam az koja shoroo konam
Bavaram nemishe ke enghadr eshtebah mikardam
Bavaram nemishe ke enghad barash mohem nabood..... hatta andazeyeh nokeh soozan
Bavaram nemishe vaghti badaz yeh maah bahash harf zadam goft "mage mishe inja biaayo nabinamet" .......aakharesham mano nadid
Cheghadr darkesh baram sakht bood
Cheghadr khoshhalam ke nadidamesh
Bavaram nemishe cheghad azash badam miad beh khatereh in hameh bi mahallish..... beh kasi mahalleh sag nadadan yani hamin.....
Bavaram nemisheh enghad barash kam arzesh boodam
Aslan hichki ta hala ba man intor raftar nakardeh bood..... hichkas
Bavaram nemishe 3 saalo cheghad barash too weblogam she'r neveshtam
Bavaram nemishe ke be khatere oon asheghe kasi natoonestam besham
Vaghean bavaram nemishe cheghad alan azash badam miado cheghad hichvaght nemikham rikhtesho bebinam
Vaghean bavaram nemishe ke ta hamin yeh maah pish migoftam man baraayeh in bashar unconditional love daaram..... har kari koneh man baazam doosesh daaram...... bachas
Cheghad azash badam miad......endafe shookhi nemikonam........deletesh kardam barayeh hamisheh...... emrooz aksesho didam......avvalin aksi ke azash dideh boodamo ashegham kard..... che dastaneh ghashangi bood.......
Bavaram nemisheh intori tamoom shod
Khodahafez

Ziba :)

خورشید این را میدانست که بچه را باید به گریه انداخت که اگر راه گلویش بسته است، خفه نشود. پس مادرانه همان طور که سرازیر بود به پشتش زد.کافی نبود. ضربه دیگری فراتر از مهر مادری. باز هم ضربه ای محکم تر. میبایست بداند که دنیا چجور جاییست. اینجا برای کسی حلوا خیر نمیکنند. مگر وقتی که زحمتش را کم کرده باشد.

محسن مخملباف

Good luck

To the x-gf who could be his current gf!

And guess what? He didn't msg or call at all!

The plan is to not pick up / respond to him at all

Victory.....feels good :)

Boy have I got news for you!

Are you ready to hear this????????

Are youuuuuu?

Ok. So today I realized that not only I'm not in L with VJ anymore, but I don't even wanna have anything to do with him! Can you believe that? I neverrrrrrrrrrr in a million years thought I would say this.......but the fact that he's soooooooooooooo Fing uncaring has made me realize how much he reallllllllllly doesnt care and doesn't give a ffffffffffff

wowwwwwwwwwww........ I'm so happy...........I feel like I'm finally free!

He called me last night...

Wait...... first of all I've been here for a month and he didn't even tryyyyy to u know.....ask me out or anything.......and the 2-3 times that he did contact me it was very casual and he was like oh im at school wanted to know if ur there.......or oh im on the street wanted to know if i can come to ur place! like wtf

ok.......besides those times he called me last night at around 9 30 and i didnt pick up caz i wasnt expecting a call and my phone was in my room.......after i saw a missed call from him I was like "damn it" .......so i called him and he was like "yea i called u to see if ur around so i could come and see u w my friend"

that was kinda a dissapointment......with his friend???the first time w his friend? are u fing kidding me?

anyways.... i got over that ...... then he said what u doing tomorrow....... i'll msg u etc. im kinda busy tomorrow but i'll come and see u

and guess what???????? its almost 10 and he hasnt even f*ing called yet!

LOOOOOOOOOOOL

how funny is that? Like for good, I'm over it......... I'm freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

I can't deal with someone like this........... i don't want to......... you know what?
there are sooooooooooooooo many people that do really want to hang out with me.........they actually like me........... i dont fing need this AT ALLLLLL

can't believe i've been in love with him for the past fing 4 years! wowwwwwwww

I really don't think I will change my mind........ and this was my news for you

I hope you enjoyed it

Life

I had a fun night last night at the boat cruise party. I was happy today for almost all day but now I feel like I'm starting to get stressed out about school and all. I'm TAing 2 classes so I have no idea how that's gonna go. I hate the first chapter of the book which is the one that I have to discuss with them in class. Anyways, I don't want to think about it

Some persian guy came up to me at the end of the party last night and asked for my number. I told him to add me on FB caz I was thinking about stupid VJ!!!!!!!!!!! I can't believe I did that. But I have to put a closure on this story before I can move on. He seemed likable. But I can't do anything before I see VJ :( So I actually ended up adding him myself. He accepted it but didn't send any msgs.

I'm so thankful to god. Because of so many things. I have to start studying etc.

+ I realized that I have to spend at least 1-2 hours with other people / day in order to stay sane!

Hi. How are you? I miss you!

These are the words that I want to be able to say to people :(

Ok

I'll give myself a chance.......it might come back...... I must have feelings!

Beh maah booseh mizanam
Beh kooh tekyeh mikonam
Beh man negaah kon bebin
Beh eshgheh to che mikonam

It's amazing how you can get so close to making a dream come true and then decide that you want to keep it a dream. You're afraid of the unknown. It's so pure and so magical but, if you get too close to it, it might disappear.

In simple words:

It's so amazing that I've got so close to seeing the person that I had always wanted to see (Mr. VJ) but then decided not to because of all that he's done. It's amazing how scared I am of him. I still like him the way I did before but I can't handle his unpreditability. Everything that he's done proves to me that he doesn't care. But there's always the voice in my head that says he does care. It's always a constant battle between my heart and my head. But he might be leaving. I want to throw up when I think about the fact that he might be moving to TO to get back with his gf. But at the same time, there is no way in this world that I will put a step forward to ask him out or anything of that sort. NO WAY. I have my moments when I think about calling him and asking if he wants to hang out. But I overcome these weak moments. And to tell you the truth I'm fine with whatever he does. He can go marry someone else for all I care. I just don't want him to mislead me in any way. That's all I ask for. Please don't let him mislead me into thinnking that he cares. I don't want to be so naive...... but you know how we hear what we want to believe.....