How am I doing?

I wish I could say I was fantastic... But the truth is that I'm not... I'm quiet sad but ignoring it hoping that it will go away... He is still on my mind/being ignored... I don't like being alone... I don't like being single... I want to find someone to love and be loved in return.. Why must that be do hard to find?

How did my date go?

I like him... But not love which is good!

I'm just glad that I put in my 100% which is always good...

The rest is up to him...

Thankful that I could be 100% myself😎

:)

Sometimes I get overwhelmed with joy... And luckily it happens more often than the times I get overwhelmed with sadness.... I am so thankful... Thank you god!!!! Thank you for proving to me over and over again that a bend in the road is not the end of the road... And that everything happens for a reason

Numb?

Love them both sooo much... Specially when they are not around me... I miss them and I love them and I can feel my heart beat for them... Why xant I show them? Or am I and I'm just not seeing it?

I don't get it...

What's the point of life without love? They say that love should be considered a bonus... But...

I don't know! I'm always extremely happier when I think I'm in love and as I have said before: love can/does move mountains!

I really don't get what I do that makes guys run away... They say that things that hurt us are there to teach us a lesson but I don't get what the lesson is...

Looking back at the last year, every guy that I liked somehow ran away... Litrrally they disappeared... And when pushed for an answer they played the its not you its me game!

I really really don't get it but I hope that god shines some light on this mystery

Last guy helped me get over the previous one... And the previous one helped me get over the one before.... I can't even imagine a serious relationship... Seems so out of reach! But I will get there...
I'm sure that someday I will.

Back on the dating website... But don't really feel like going out w anyone...

I think I need some slobe time and I think this whole online dating thing is not eorking for me...

Meh

I was fine until now and yesterday.... But now i feel strange... Do I miss him? I dont want to say it... I love myself... I am so pretty and Ive put a pretty good life together for myself... Y did he? Need a distraction... I wanna fall in love w someone who appreciates me... Please god PLEASE.... Ghalbam dard mikoneh...

Its over

Fyi... He deleted me from fb and said he doesnt want to talk again

This too shall pass

You did what?!

Thats right... I sent him a message AND called him asking him to let me know about how he feels etc... He's probably banging a girl as we speak... Sorry about the language but I'm pretty pissed... But trying to smile... So thankful to god ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Yes I have!

Yes... I have dealt with your crazy kind before and it seems like I can't get enough...  Time to move on... Don't worry... I will get back on the hourse again soon... Literally

I wonder if I should cry... Meh no... No poinf

Thank you god for helping me make a decision... Thanks for letting me see the clear picture...

Are you ready for this?

Well... Neither was I... But guess what? It happened! Mark your calendars.... It happened on mother's day....

I feel... We weird... I'm mostly ok... At least today... At least for now.... He hasn't really msgd me much today... And I don't want to msg him... I just feel meh... I can't explain it... Something close to :-| ... Indifferent... Or try to be indifferent....

Tars

I want to talk about  my fears... As much as I try to be strong and have everything under control, there is something that I cant  have any control over, and that's the matter of the hear

No matter how much I try to distract myself with other things... He is on my mind almost all the time... And I know that this is a huge problem

Also... I am extremely attracted to him which makes me worried bcz of other girls... Just now I was thinking about two of my friends who are gorgeous and i couldnt stop thinking that if he meets them he ll prob fall in lovecw them....

Anyway...

Wish me luck

The funny thing...

The funny thing is that I either don't like someone or if I do on rare occasions I create some kind of obsession over them... Cant have that balance... At least not yet... Which is kinda sad... Because it possibly means that I cant be in a serious relationship yet...

I can't stop thinking about him!

God help me...

Yes indeed...

I'm definitely in love! I know it's crazy and immature... But oh well... A heart wants what a heart wants...

At the same time... I'm trying to control myself... Not sure if it's a good idea or how it works... I hope i can make this one work... Why does it have to be so complicated? I don't know.... But indeed that's a good question :)