Umm...

I feel like I want to be free from any attachment. I still think looking for someone online is stupid!

As I’ve said before, I don’t mind falling in love but I think looking for it online is stupid

I want to focus on other things. I feel like I haven’t accomplished something measurable in a while and maybe that’s why I’ve been feeling down lately

The thought of the past comes and goes... not gone permanently. But I take responsibility for my choices and my feelings

When I went to my neighbour’s place yesterday I saw love and I heard of love... and that’s what I want... not forcing myself to fall in love!

Sometimes I feel like I’m being too picky... but at the same time I feel like I’m not picky enough. So not sure what to do

Anyway... I feel like I have been lately so consumed with the thought of a relationship that it’s mKing me sick! Time to focus on other things

Ps... about impermanence

I also do like to flow through different feelings and not get stuck... somthat’s why I said yes today... I’ll be ok if I shift my focus :)

Um... nice joke?

I feel like I don’t want to be dating people from online! I feel like I have yet to move on...

Nice joke because somehow he messaged me and wanted to go for coffee with me... and of course the crazy me accepted if because I haven’t figured things out yet and I have a glimpse of hope thinking he may want to come back... I have a strong urge that wants me to message him and ask him if he wants to be my bf again... I wish things were different... I wish I could connect to the source like we discussed on Sunday and somehow ask the source to heal him and send him back to me... I know that these are crazy thoughts... vali beh gholeh moein: hishki mesleh to nabood, hishki mesleh to nashod

Again, I am ok. I think I have just learned to live with the sadness... although I don’t want to... mesleh in aadamaayeh khol... tanha chizi keh mano khoshhal mikoneh eshgheh... I hope that magically I meet someone that I find that connection with

Mikhaam yeh ghasri besaazam panjareh haash aabi baashe

❤️❤️❤️

Happy thoughts

Delam yeh eshgheh jaanaaneh mikhaad... az oonai ke doost daram. The type that can sweep me off my feet and leave me breathless. There are a few more days in this crazy winter. I have learned a few things... such as getting away from the cold by myself and not waiting for anyone to go with!!! I planned a warm destination with family, friends and ex amd they all said no! I should have gone by myself and that is my regret!

Anyway.... not sure about how the J situation is gonna go... I feel like he doesn’t have a sense of humour but maybe he is just shy! I have no idea!!! But secretly I want this to work out! Not sure how... I know that 8 have to get to know him more but he wants to kiss me next time! And can’t say that I am really looking forward to that... I just don’t feel comfortable with him yet

Va in manam... tako tanhaa... empty is how I feel

I think that was not a nice game that the universe played on me... to bring someone so perfect into my life. Someone so perfect that I would even fall in love with. Then take him away for some lame excuse!

Yes... I’m trying to put myself out there and not give up. But that doesn’t take away from the reality and the shock... the reality of how I still feel inside. Every moment alone feels weird. I feel lost and all I want to do is sleep and not have to think about it. But I guess that’s just the process. I embrace it just the way it is... at least I am trying

God. Help me do the right thing and feel the right way. Plz and thank you ❤️