Growth?

It’s really hard not to be thankful and happy.... I don’t want to stress about things that I have the power of doing something about 

I have learned that I feel anxious and angry and start not being so nice by criticizing and mocking the person when I feel like I am not being listened to. I don’t want to be controlling the situation but I am asking my partner to care about what we have both identified as a problem. I feel like I have to suppress my feelings and even be mean because I currently don’t see my relationship going anywhere unless some things are resolved. I understand that it doesn’t happen over night and I have to be patient but I need to see progress and it’s discouraging when that doesn’t happen. Once again I am proud of myself for voicing my concern despite the fact that it’s not an easy subject to talk about. I don’t want him to be blind sided in case I turn around and tell him that we should break up. I am nice most of the times and it’s hard for him to know that there is a problem unless I voice it like I did today. Iam thankful for being able to communicate and thankful that he listened 

Pickle

Have you ever found yourself in a pickle? I have!

It has been almost 5 months now and although I enjoy hanging out with him I thibk the unspoken words make me so angry that I criticize him... and for that I dislike myself

I have never really been that great at communicating my feelings, particularly the negative ones, and although now I hve told him exactly what bothers me, the favt that he is not doing anything about it bothers me

It’s like this is a prequisite for me to even start considering seeing a future with him

No matter how hard I try I can’t get passed it

And since we “spontaneously” decided to go on vacation together I cannot help but to delay thibgs until after

I don’t want to hurt him and I don’t know how to do it in a way that it would make sense

I guess there is no “right” way of breaking someone’s heart

Anyway, I really don’t know what to do about it and I think I need to talk to a counselour

The only way that we can mybe make it work is for me to let him go and tell him that I will not be able to continue seeing him until he figures things out