Deleh man

 Welcome to the saddest month of the year

Last year, once I found our about the 👶🏻 I went down the memory lane and cherished the days they were created, including those days that I still didn’t know… 

These are the days that I am actively trying to stay positive with heavy pain in my heart that’s constantly being ignored until it’s not

This is all part of grieving. The memories will never be forgotten… 

Given my current state, or “our” current state, I honestly don’t even know if I still want to… although I am taking steps towards making it happen and the thought of it happening gives me joy, it’s still something that I have doubts about, which makes this whole thing very confusing

All I know is that I can be very happy when distracted and very sad when I am not. Refer to the picture in the previous post if you want to see my “happy state”